A new chapter, An empty nest, Drama school & Last year of Uni

badmemory

Sad to say it is not unusual for someione to become incontinent during a hospital stay.  I have no proof but it seems to be caused by them having to wet themselves because of the delays & severe lack of urgency in getting them to the toilet/bedpan.

Spendless

Oh that's something I wasn't aware of badmemory. but I have little expereince in knowing people going into hospital. Nan is doing ok, had some relatives visit. I will once work schedule allows and I can get a lift there. She has had a SW assigned, someone on here mentioned one recently. Thank you for that post cos as soon as Mum told me I breathed an inward sigh of relief that we now have a 'go to'  

Work issue has been resolved by compromise on both sides which I was happy to agree to. This means our longer term goals can slightly move forward. 

Enjoyed an outing with eldest after work, ate Korean food  at a covered street food venue and then worked our way thru some drinks on offer at a nearby pub. 

Today's goals. Clear the last bits from some cupboards in our bedroom in anticipation of painter coming. Tidy up in case freinds call round. I am starting to feel more relaxed, a week or 2 ago I was 'what problem is today going to bring' 

Newstartforme

Hi Spendless , glad Nan got allocated a social worker , that will be a point of contact for your mum and dad , seems things are moving in the right direction x

Spendless

Tuesday and I've already paid DD's London student rent. That is the last payment I'm able to make for this month until my wages come in, so the next 2 weeks payments will come from money I put away from DH's wages - thank goodness for a spreadsheet detailing all this and that I had the foresight to realise during this diary that we needed to treat student rent as an ongoing bill not just deplete savings all the time.

We are still waiting to hear about the return of the desposit from her original accommodation abroad but things are moving with the insurance company for  my car so hoping I can update shortly. I'm fortunate I don't need the vehicle for work - it's easier to catch public transport, but there is a weekend day coming up when DH is away with his car (working abroad)  and public transport doesn't run early enough and it's unlikely I'll have found a replacement vehicle by then so have asked my parents to help me out with a lift that day.

Nan is likely to be in the assessment centre for 4-6 weeks. Parents are 50/50 on whether she'll be allowed home or not.  

Painter and decorator is here finishing off our bedroom. Looking forward to that being finished. Dog isn't happy about an 'intruder' in the house that he's meant to just accept but it's too wet and miserable here to walk him round to his Grandparents house. 

I do feel that things are finally moving upwards compared to a couple of weeks ago.  

lucielle

It does sound like things are heading in the right direction. You’ll be happy to move back into your bedroom. 

L

Spendless

Yesterday I accepted the assessors valuation on my car, it's now with the insurers to agree or dispute the amount.

Today we have ordered a new carpet for bedroom. Looked at mattresses and got an idea but the shop's lead time for delivery was too long so going to order on-line.

Still pending is refund of DD;s deposit and hearing from HMRC about the  outstanding tax year where DH's tax code was wrong.

Parents asked me and Mr S to sort out LPAs for them for both finance and health after Dad got freaked out about an article he read where one  wasn't in place. Me and Mr S were on the brink of doing our own a couple of years ago when another financial emergency took place and has been on the back burner since. We will do ours when DD is home and can sign. The price goes up from £82 to £92 from Monday next week so I was also able to play on 'You can save £40 by doing it now' with Dad and he went for it!

We also checked Mum's NI record as she doesn't receive a full SP and she blamed years of SE work for this. She was wrong and the  truth  revealed last night is more upsetting.  I've known for years that when my Mum was in her early 20s she was in a set of circs where she was reliant on a relative for somewhere to live and have food and bills paid. Mum has a trade. Relative set Mum up in a business that relative also went and worked in. Mum never  received any wages, her 'board and lodgings' considered her payment. I always thought that her wages had been withheld. Last night the lack of NI contributions for the years concerned indicated that Mum had never existed as an employee of this business despite working full time in it  (the business wouldn't have existed without Mum, she has the trade, relative didn't). Eventually an opportunity presented itself for Mum to change her situation but she needed some cash to do so. She took from the till. I'm not going to say stole because in my eyes she didn't, she took some of what was rightfully hers,  Today this would be seen as modern day slavery/enforced labour and potentially money laundering certainly tax evasion. It's really upset me because I was very close to the relative concerned (who has died) who certainly must have realised this was wrong   - they weren't stupid by any means. What did also come to light  and what we were checking for was Mum appears to have been in receipt of child benefit (then called family allowance) and not receiving HRP (the Nat Ins contribution) so we have applied for that and hopefully we are correct. It still  won't give Mum a full state pension as she's a few years short thanks to relative but it would bridge a gap and would also be eligible for 20 years backpay - all in HMRCs hands to sort out. My childhood friend called today and I told her the above and she has suggested I seek some talking therapy to come to terms with it all. 

badmemory

I hope that the terms for receiving HRP are different for your mother's time.  But for mine you had to have been paying full stamp before the pregnancy.  I am keeping my fingers crossed for her.

Definitely sort those POAs & why not do your own too.  Hospitals can be dire without them.

Spendless

badmemory said:

I hope that the terms for receiving HRP are different for your mother's time.  But for mine you had to have been paying full stamp before the pregnancy.  I am keeping my fingers crossed for her.

Definitely sort those POAs & why not do your own too.  Hospitals can be dire without them.

Oh -  well that is potentially a problem because in the years preceding the pregnancy Mum was a housewife or in the situation where she wasnt being paid. I didnt see this criteria in any of the articles I looked up about women missing out on HRP. The time period concerned is from the late 1970s to early 1980s. 

ETA - Having had a quick google I think you might be referring to not being eligible if youd opted to pay the married womans reduced stamp? Mum never took this option. 

Spendless

Dog groomers today. The money to pay  is in our bank accounts despite payday being 2 weeks away for both. Reducing our household bills has definately helped with cashflow. 

 We received another educational bill yesterday relating to DD's studies abroad. We sort of knew about it but were hoping that DD;s home Uni would deal with it like they indicated they would - doesn't look like that's the case. We will be able to meet it though even though it's a chunk of cash.

Later I have an afternoon shift to work. Wasn't a fan of this last time I was in, felt I was clock watching all morning. Today with the groomers booked for am, think I'm going to be ok. Considering I have mostly done full time hours for the majority of my working life it hasn't taken me long to adjust to a part time one and I much prefer 4 hour shifts to longer ones! 

Looking thru my cupboards I have several packet mixes and ambient goods  to use up, I think if I buy the meat/veg to accompany this will help with the next few weeks grocery budget too. I used a pepper sauce mix I had in last night with meatballs, chips and roasted veg. DH wasn't overly keen on the idea first but I was thinking the pepper mix wasn't too different from Ikea creamy sauce and the meatballs were quite savoury in flavour so went well. I also saw the idea on SM where you move all your 'use up next' fridge items into a selected space in the fridge, so have done that in order to help reduce food waste and the ever increasing grocery bill costs. 

Spendless

Took me ages to realise it was Friday and therefore £10 needed paying into my savings/alternative universe account. Now that has been done there is now £40 in extra rent, that is creeping up nicely. £36 each in lost and stolen and jabberwocky now has £202. There are 2 more Fridays before the end of the month and at that point I hope all outstanding monies have been paid out.

I have just received email from insurers agreeing a payout of just under £1k. A deduction has been made for my excess and a previous damage (crack in back bumper when someone must have reversed into me and driven off - it was minor so I just left it). So complete valuation was over £1200. Mr S found my original receipt from back in early 2015, the car cost me £1800, so I don't think I can complain at that It was an old car, it's time was almost up though I wouldn't have  chosen its ending.

I've also got £10 owing to me from a dental bill from my healthcare plan. 

Still outstanding DD's rent deposit and Mr S tax refund.

It is miserable and raining here and despite being glad I'm not at work, I find myself feeling very out of sorts today. Dog groomers double booked by accident so my appt got changed to next week. I think the dog would have sulked very much today if he'd had a shorter coat so silver linings.   

Nan still in assessment centre. Parents have had to go to drop off some personal   items on a couple of occassions  No update as of yet to what is happening.