A new chapter, An empty nest, Drama school & Last year of Uni

savingholmes

Happy weekend. Hope you are having fun despite life's challenges.

EssexHebridean

Great that your DD has decided on her next step - that must be a weight off your mind, and especially it being funded too! 

Spendless

Today I feel incredibly emotional. DS and his fiancée are leaving their digs to go and live with her parents whilst they find their feet. I have to admit that when  I waved bye to him at 18 (and with some relief, because we were in the middle of school trauma with DD and it just made it easier to have 1 at home to concentrate on) I never considered that he might not return or we wouldn't be the parents picking him up as he said bye to the place that has been home for the past 4 years. There is more space (people wise) at girlfriend's parents and more walk to 'throw away' jobs, which they will look to do for now. 

DD goes on holiday abroad next week with friends from her drama school. I'm pleased to see signs of recovery in her.

Job hunting for me is about to commence again, hopefully I'll find something and then a 2nd income into the house will start making things easier again. 

Coxy11

Aaah @Spendless - I feel for you. Just take great comfort in the fact that DS is with a lovely person and they are moving somewhere safe and will be supported. My DS1 moved out with his GF just over a year ago. They bought a place 30 minutes drive away as couldn't afford around here. I was glad for him as he was with GF (she's lovely) and that they were moving to a nice area and not paying silly rent in a grotty place! 

Good that DD has a holiday to look forward to, and good luck with the job hunting. I just got another 'no' so back to looking!

savingholmes

Milestones are typically double edged. Hopefully it will take pressure off you

Spendless

Thank you both. Fingers crossed you get some positive news re job hunting Coxy. Within an hour of my last post I was contacted by a lady at an agency who said we'd last spoken in Jan (I couldn't remember) asked what my job situation was and what I was looking for, said my advantage is how flexible I am and would share my details around the office to see if they could find anything. I told her I've not got availability 2 days next week, this is because DD is going away with girlfriends from her college, DH is going to empty her room in Scotland ahead of the tenancy ending and taking his Uncle with him to help and with my parents also away I have no dog sitter for our dog plus I'm having Uncle's dog. Should I not hear from them by DH's return I'll refresh my CV and start applying.

I too am hoping that living with Gf's parents will take the pressure from us as it's been a tough one this year paying for both DS and DD with both rents as well as our own costs and helping both kids out too.  No wonder we've struggled making headway clearing debts of our own. 

DH did his tax return yesterday (this is due to his salary plus benefits such as car having knock on effect on CB claimed). I was a bit wary since last time he'd ended up with a bill that needed paying instead of taking it through his tax code as had been done in previous years. We discovered the answer to that and it was because he'd done it in Jan instead of before the end of December, like all previous years. This year's tax return told him he's due some tax back - he thinks it's due to him changing his company car over last Autumn. Unsure if it'll come through his wage packet or as a separate cheque but I've suggested we set it aside and it goes towards DD's next accommodation. She got confirmation from her Drama school that she has a place yesterday and a few hours later a phone call from her other offer asking if she wished to accept or reject it, she told them she wouldn't be taking it, so that wll have made someone happy as they will move off the reserve list into DD's place.

I haven't said anything to DD but I have reason to believe that her ex and former friend are no longer together. Can't say I'm overly surprised I was suspicious all along that friend was being used for some purpose, hurting DD being one of them and she would be dumped soon enough. Little to no sympathy for her, she's wrecked an 8 year friendship with DD, in pursuit of a short lived relationship with someone who should have been off limits in the first place. Another girl contacted DD a week or so ago. She's a couple of years younger than DD and she was aware had a crush on her ex. This other girl has sent DD screenshots of what ex was saying about DD to her including that he intended breaking up with her once they both moved away - a year before they did so! Other girl says DD's ex is a horrible person (so I suspect he's done something to her too) a sentiment DD now agrees with and the two girls are becoming friends hahahaha. 

EssexHebridean

Glad to hear that DD is beginning to find her feet and a realisation that she's got a support network out there around ex's behaviour - and to an extent also that ex has behaved precisely as expected to the former friend too, that should be a valuable life-lesson for her anyway! I feel for you on your DS moving out too - but be proud of yourselves that you've raised a lad who has enough confidence to branch out and do the things he needs to do for his future, that's a great thing! 

savingholmes

Glad you have tax due back for DH. Sounds like things are heading in a better direction

Spendless

Thank you. Still a few bumps this week.DD has been ill a couple of times and unable to go to work so will be down on her wages. She had to have an emergency trip to the Dentist as it was a gum infection causing the issue. She's been given antibiotics but you can't take alcohol with them. The pharmacist was very clear about that it has the potential to hospitalise her if she did, however she'd going on her first girls hol abroad next week! At first she wanted to cancel the hol as there was 'no point'. Had to explain that not being able to drink alcohol isn't a reason they'll refund you on!!  - teenagers sigh! Later she discovered that another of the girls currently on another hol has been unwell and can't drink either, so they'll keep each other company. We'd all gone to bed on the same day when I heard DD crying. My first thought was what has ex done now so called her in to our room. She told me that someone she'd been friendly with at sixth form had died by suicide and another college mate had contacted her to let her know. It's really upset her, which I can imagine, it must fetch back her own feelings of believing she had nothing to hope for.

DS gf's parents have offered to take them abroad in the Autumn. They need to contribute but her parents will help. I suspect this is a carrot and stick approach to get them to knuckle down to finding work. DS passport has ran out, we said we will buy him the next one as the final time we do, as we bought the last one when he was 15 so it only had 5 years on it. DD's last one we replaced when she was 17 so she has a 10 year one.  Hunt about the house looking for it to no avail, only to find DS had taken it with him when he was lost home - might have been helpful to tell us that!   

Today is my 23rd Wedding Anniversary. We are going out for a drink and nibbles later. Past 2 anniversaries have been under lockdown and it's rained on both occassions, unlike my parents whose wedding anniversary is the day before and have had beautiful days. This year they've gone abroad as it's their Golden WA and we've got a heatwave here, hahahaha. 

Honeysucklelou2

Congratulations on your anniversary...enjoy your day.