How did having a child impact your marriage/relationship?

zagfles

Retireby40 said:

Seems that many people don't experience any relationship problems after a new born. The stats must be wrong.

Why must the stats be wrong just because a small unrepresentative self-selected sample of people have a difference experience?

Retireby40

zagfles said:

Retireby40 said:

Seems that many people don't experience any relationship problems after a new born. The stats must be wrong.

Why must the stats be wrong just because a small unrepresentative self-selected sample of people have a difference experience?

They aren't wrong. I was being sarcastic.

zagfles

Retireby40 said:

zagfles said:

Retireby40 said:

Seems that many people don't experience any relationship problems after a new born. The stats must be wrong.

Why must the stats be wrong just because a small unrepresentative self-selected sample of people have a difference experience?

They aren't wrong. I was being sarcastic.

So after just 2 substantive replies, just because they weren't in proportion to some stats you've found, you get sarcastic

What are you trying to imply, that we're lying? Did you want a particular answer? Didn't you get it? Did you think just because stats say 67% have problems then the answers you'll get from a tiny self-selected sample on a probably unrepresentative forum board should always be in the same proportion

I thought you wanted an actual discussion about the issue, which is why I gave my experience and the reasons I think why others might have a different experience. Obviously not if you just get sarcastic with people who don't give you the reply you want.

Retireby40

zagfles said:

Retireby40 said:

zagfles said:

Retireby40 said:

Seems that many people don't experience any relationship problems after a new born. The stats must be wrong.

Why must the stats be wrong just because a small unrepresentative self-selected sample of people have a difference experience?

They aren't wrong. I was being sarcastic.

So after just 2 substantive replies, just because they weren't in proportion to some stats you've found, you get sarcastic

What are you trying to imply, that we're lying? Did you want a particular answer? Didn't you get it? Did you think just because stats say 67% have problems then the answers you'll get from a tiny self-selected sample on a probably unrepresentative forum board should always be in the same proportion

I thought you wanted an actual discussion about the issue, which is why I gave my experience and the reasons I think why others might have a different experience. Obviously not if you just get sarcastic with people who don't give you the reply you want.

I wasn't looking a particular answer. Nor do I imply you are lying. 

It was merely said in jest as abit of fun. Not to be taken personally. Nor to be said in a disrespectful manner so sorry if that is how it seems.

74jax

Retireby40 said:

74jax said:

Retireby40 said:

Seems that many people don't experience any relationship problems after a new born. The stats must be wrong.

I tried to find the article but when I typed on what you said it brought up complications with newborns (mostly covid).

It depends where they say they got their stats from. It could be just an area, a short period of time etc. But most likely wrong and in the hope no one tries to check it out....... 

Why are you challenging me like what I am saying is wrong?

Do you have kids and what's your experience?

I think if you Google marriage difficulties after new born there plenty of pages dedicated to it and with statistics.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.goodto.com/wellbeing/relationships/relationship-news/break-up-after-baby-513710/amp

That's another that says 1 in 5 relationships break up in the first 12 months of a new born.

There has to be some truth in it.

I wasn't challenging you? I was interested, and wanted to read the article. Hence I asked for a link.

My daughter's a teacher and involved in phycology. We love things like this and find it interesting. As was the point of the thread I thought. 

Naomim

In some ways we grew apart and others closer. Our physical relationship took a massive hit after our firstborn.  However he was premature and in hospital so stress may have played a large part of it. It took a very long time to recover that side of things.  But we became more of a team in parenting and were in a great place when our second was born.  By then in a much better place with each other.

Now kids are teens there are very different challenges and we dont always see eye to eye but we're still here together. 

[Deleted User]

Retireby40 said:

Seems that many people don't experience any relationship problems after a new born. The stats must be wrong.

Don't knock yourself, I recall a few years ago, it use to be said people thought having a baby would solve problems in the relationship and bring couples closer, when the opposite was more true for a breaking relationship.  Possibly a new spin on that. 

I've had a couple of friends this year, only mention their pregnancy after the announcement of giving birth (no proudly saying about the bump) and wondered if that was the new thing of the times. x

Retireby40

74jax said:

Retireby40 said:

74jax said:

Retireby40 said:

Seems that many people don't experience any relationship problems after a new born. The stats must be wrong.

I tried to find the article but when I typed on what you said it brought up complications with newborns (mostly covid).

It depends where they say they got their stats from. It could be just an area, a short period of time etc. But most likely wrong and in the hope no one tries to check it out....... 

Why are you challenging me like what I am saying is wrong?

Do you have kids and what's your experience?

I think if you Google marriage difficulties after new born there plenty of pages dedicated to it and with statistics.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.goodto.com/wellbeing/relationships/relationship-news/break-up-after-baby-513710/amp

That's another that says 1 in 5 relationships break up in the first 12 months of a new born.

There has to be some truth in it.

I wasn't challenging you? I was interested, and wanted to read the article. Hence I asked for a link.

My daughter's a teacher and involved in phycology. We love things like this and find it interesting. As was the point of the thread I thought. 

You asked for the link without adding the interest you had. You then said about the "stats" being wrong and hoping no one checked.

As you have a daughter what was your experience in the first years of their life with your partner? 

74jax

Retireby40 said:

74jax said:

Retireby40 said:

74jax said:

Retireby40 said:

Seems that many people don't experience any relationship problems after a new born. The stats must be wrong.

I tried to find the article but when I typed on what you said it brought up complications with newborns (mostly covid).

It depends where they say they got their stats from. It could be just an area, a short period of time etc. But most likely wrong and in the hope no one tries to check it out....... 

Why are you challenging me like what I am saying is wrong?

Do you have kids and what's your experience?

I think if you Google marriage difficulties after new born there plenty of pages dedicated to it and with statistics.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.goodto.com/wellbeing/relationships/relationship-news/break-up-after-baby-513710/amp

That's another that says 1 in 5 relationships break up in the first 12 months of a new born.

There has to be some truth in it.

I wasn't challenging you? I was interested, and wanted to read the article. Hence I asked for a link.

My daughter's a teacher and involved in phycology. We love things like this and find it interesting. As was the point of the thread I thought. 

You asked for the link without adding the interest you had. You then said about the "stats" being wrong and hoping no one checked.

As you have a daughter what was your experience in the first years of their life with your partner? 

My reply on stats was as you had said perhaps they are wrong. I was agreeing with you. 

Newspapers tend to write a lot, don't link to the actual survey and hope no one wants to check.  You get a lot on many socials. 

My daughter is much older than the survey unfortunately 😂, my memory fads. But it didn't really change our relationship many moons ago. 

She's actually doing something on changes to families and needed actual surveys as you need to give the full survey info in the references of she is quoting it, hence the interest in the actual survey. I find it an interesting topic anyway. 

Retireby40

74jax said:

Retireby40 said:

74jax said:

Retireby40 said:

74jax said:

Retireby40 said:

Seems that many people don't experience any relationship problems after a new born. The stats must be wrong.

I tried to find the article but when I typed on what you said it brought up complications with newborns (mostly covid).

It depends where they say they got their stats from. It could be just an area, a short period of time etc. But most likely wrong and in the hope no one tries to check it out....... 

Why are you challenging me like what I am saying is wrong?

Do you have kids and what's your experience?

I think if you Google marriage difficulties after new born there plenty of pages dedicated to it and with statistics.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.goodto.com/wellbeing/relationships/relationship-news/break-up-after-baby-513710/amp

That's another that says 1 in 5 relationships break up in the first 12 months of a new born.

There has to be some truth in it.

I wasn't challenging you? I was interested, and wanted to read the article. Hence I asked for a link.

My daughter's a teacher and involved in phycology. We love things like this and find it interesting. As was the point of the thread I thought. 

You asked for the link without adding the interest you had. You then said about the "stats" being wrong and hoping no one checked.

As you have a daughter what was your experience in the first years of their life with your partner? 

My reply on stats was as you had said perhaps they are wrong. I was agreeing with you. 

Newspapers tend to write a lot, don't link to the actual survey and hope no one wants to check.  You get a lot on many socials. 

My daughter is much older than the survey unfortunately 😂, my memory fads. But it didn't really change our relationship many moons ago. 

She's actually doing something on changes to families and needed actual surveys as you need to give the full survey info in the references of she is quoting it, hence the interest in the actual survey. I find it an interesting topic anyway. 

I'm sure she has plenty of stats and details regarding it if it is what she is studying. She certainly wouldn't need me quoting random findings after a Google search.

That's good it didn't change your relationship. From what you remember anyway. I dare say things are maybe a lot different today than 30,40,50 years ago. Who knows.