Learning to walk before I run

QueenJess

edinburgher said:

Another pointless catch up with my boss, good as said I'd return now if issues were addressed/changes put in place to avoid a repeat. Their response "we'll discuss it next week with HR".

A work colleague pointed out a sobering truth that I kinda already understood. Nothing will change and my boss doesn't have the status to be an iconoclast in an organisation that sucks quite a lot at looking after it's staff.

It's why I want to leave, just got to find somewhere else to go

Definitely look elsewhere and consider all options, as you are the only person that is going to look after you. 

Don’t forget that you don’t have to decide what job to do as a forever decision, you can change your mind. Just in case you were pressuring yourself to find a “final” solution for a new role.

edinburgher

@QueenJess - It would be lovely to find a forever job but I realise I may have to change over the 17 years before we can afford to retire. I don't feel pressured to do so, just as long as it pays the bills and pays a non-miserly contribution towards our eventual retirement

I was sorry to hear that your new job hasn't been what you'd hoped.

*Edit: In other news, back to the money. We are feeling absolutely brassic after a very spendy few months. The bits that I'm even willing to discuss have included £850+ on household maintenance since May (boiler + electrics) and £250+ on vet's fees, pet medicines and food.

I made IRO £10 today with my first reasonable set of Prolific surveys in ages and the sale of a relatively cheap Blu-ray. Mrs E and I have read ourselves the riot act, there have also been spends that absolutely weren't sensible, such as booking an autumn holiday and then me going off sick a couple of months into repayments. We've accrued some credit card debt, I've transferred onto a new 0% no fees card that will force us to pay off 3.75% a month, so at least we have a plan of sorts... I guess you don't always make the best choices when you're stressed and a bit miserable

Cornish_mum

Hi Ed, 

I just wanted to pop by to say hello, and let you know that you aren’t the only ones who has been doing some additional spending of late….

MrCM and I have also released the purse strings thanks to a 0% B@rclay cc. I am thinking of it as future (2026) CM problem. 

Take care 
CM

KajiKita

It’s very easy to make choices when you are stressed and miserable that look *completely* different when you come out of whatever is causing it ….

I speak from experience. I was furloughed during Covid and only on 60% pay. But I was spending, spending, spending …. Mainly on crafting kits I didn’t do and self development courses I started and then stopped because my head was so ‘in the shed’ …. 😉🤷‍♀️ With hindsight I can see how ludicrous it was, but I was so isolated at the time (Mr KK was in work every day, I wasn’t on here then) so it happened. 

I have rule with hindsight though. I, and others around me, like my team, Mr KK, my friends etc. are NOT allowed to beat themselves up with hindsight, only learn from it 😊

KK

Watty1

I love KK's wise and thoughtful advice.

As someone who has had and still has a 'portfolio' career there is nothing wrong with changing ships midstream but for now keep taking the rest notes from the doctor and do just that.   It is rare you will get recovery time in your life. Take as much as you can given your workplace. 

KajiKita

100% with Watty’s advice too 😊

KK

edinburgher

Work continue to be horrific. I suggested that I might be able to return with altered responsibilities and reduced hours and that I don't want to be idle. Their counter suggestion was that it is entirely my own fault that I'm burned out (overtime since Christmas) and that I could only return to status quo minus (the status quo + I'd be prevented from doing overtime and I'd no longer be a manager). I told boss that they were completely unqualified to make the determination that overtime was the source of all my woes and that everything I'd written at great length in my stress risk assessment was essentially garbage to be discarded). When HR asked what else they could do to help me return to work, I told them they hadn't done anything except continue the status quo, reduce my earning power and make me potentially less attractive to future employers

QueenJess

edinburgher said:

Work continue to be horrific. I suggested that I might be able to return with altered responsibilities and reduced hours and that I don't want to be idle. Their counter suggestion was that it is entirely my own fault that I'm burned out (overtime since Christmas) and that I could only return to status quo minus (the status quo + I'd be prevented from doing overtime and I'd no longer be a manager). I told boss that they were completely unqualified to make the determination that overtime was the source of all my woes and that everything I'd written at great length in my stress risk assessment was essentially garbage to be discarded). When HR asked what else they could do to help me return to work, I told them they hadn't done anything except continue the status quo, reduce my earning power and make me potentially less attractive to future employers

I'm sorry to hear this   It really sounds like they aren't worth it at this stage.  Not sure I have anything useful to add, so just sending *hugs*.

edinburgher

@QueenJess - I'm pretty sure they haven't been worth it for some time - the only thing I'm disappointed in is my own idiocy in thinking that HR might be able to pour oil on troubled waters and achieve some kind of compromise! I continue to thread the awkward path between being able to pay my bills from this job and finding a new one...

Cheery_Daff

Big hugs ed, that doesn't sound ideal at all xxx

Remember management will still be on your CV, even if you're not doing it right now - they can't take your experience away from you. 

Are you having some more time off? Doesn't sound from what you've said like the situation is ready for you to walk back into right now x