My friend lying about job

calleyw

Seriously why do you care?  maybe he is lying because he wants to fit in.  You really just need to get on with your own life and let people live there own.

I remember reading the one the about £6k being owed and I got the impression you are naive or you are on the austic spectrum.  As you seem to get very fixated on things and don't seem to really understand how the world works.

Here's a question for you.  Does it matter if he is lying and what difference does it make to you today, tomorrow or in 10 years time.  The answer is nothing.  Be what I call teflon coated.  Let it slide off you and just go with the flow.  If he wants to lie thats up to him.  its his life.  And even if he was doing some dodgy or illegal its him that will get caught and does not harm you in anyway.

If it annoys you that much then stop being friends with this person.  As you seem to have a lot friends that you have issues with

Pollycat

sim2335 said:

No a different friend

The thing that really annoys me, is he can say anything to me, but when I say something or disagree he spends ages persuading he’s right, like for example he says you need to be straight forward with girls if I say for example you wrong, he would spend ages telling me he’s right, then If I still disagreed he would make me feel stupid and get annoyed then I would get annoyed, I just avoid it and go along with him which annoys me.



If he has actually got a job after all these years and is not lying, regardless of the job I’m happy for him.

So you spend your time with this friend feeling stupid and/or annoyed...?

sim2335 said:

Because work is such a natural topic when he mentions it and he’s lying and I knowing he’s lying.

imagine if someone says I had a tough day at work when they been sitting at home playing video games.

it sort of becomes a fake friendship.

also next time I speak to him I will tell him I don’t belive him, because he says it’s a secrect, and if he ever mentions how’s work, I will tell him I can’t say because you never talk about yours.

Why would you want a 'fake friendship'?

Best advice:

Sea_Shell said:

It sounds like you really need to find some better friends!!

NBLondon

Grumpy_chap said:

sim2335 said:

Anyway, recently he said to me he works for money, so I said what’s the job, he goes it’s a scecret, 

Maybe he is embarrassed by what the work is?

He's a gigolo - and worried that you might try and poach his customers...

Seriously OP - as others have said...  Why do you care? Is this person really a friend if they are that annoying to talk to?

breaking_free

I'm on the side of the OP and I don't think he/she is being over sensitive.

I've had a small number of "fantasist" friends in my life. Eventually I've ditched them because being lied to is annoying: it's like they think you are so dumb that you'll swallow anything they say. It's an insult to the OP's intelligence so I quite understand why this is getting under their skin.

OP just ditch this friend. He's bigging himself up with this fake work because it makes him feel better at your expense.

sim2335

Thanks breaking_free

theres no need for him to lie, we close friends you don’t lie about something like this to a close mate all of a sudden.

when I was not working I was embrassed, I didn’t tell other people truth but I always told him.

it’s not that simple to just ditch him, because he is a friend who has good quality’s too.

also I get angry at myself for not speaking up more, for example he said stupid things like if I played for that football  team they would win everything, but he actually means it, why don’t I have to guts to say you not that or good enough, it’s because then he would get angry or get in argumentive mood and try to prove to me, and I hate arguments confrentaion etc.. 

calleyw

Either put up with the lying and don't annoyed about it or ditch him as a friend.  All friends have small quirks some you can let pass and others you can't so the friendship fails.  But look at how much he annoys you compared to the joy you get from the so called friendship.  If he annoys you more than you know the answer.

But I guessing you wont and you will be back in few days/months/years still moaning.  Only you have the power to change things if you choose not to then don't complain.  As you have made your choices and from previous posts you keep making bad ones.

Malthusian

sim2335 said:

also I get angry at myself for not speaking up more, for example he said stupid things like if I played for that football  team they would win everything, but he actually means it, why don’t I have to guts to say you not that or good enough, it’s because then he would get angry or get in argumentive mood and try to prove to me, and I hate arguments confrentaion etc.. 

Telling fantasists that they're talking rubbish when you've no skin in the game doesn't take "guts", only rudeness. As you said yourself, it doesn't make you clever to say the world is round even if someone else is saying it's flat.

Putting up with a conversation that annoys you for the sake of his feelings takes "guts". Making both of you miserable by calling him out doesn't.

Unless you're the manager of the team in question it makes no difference to you whether he is or isn't good enough to play for them.

Pollycat

sim2335 said:

theres no need for him to lie, we close friends you don’t lie about something like this to a close mate all of a sudden.

Is it "all of a sudden".
Is this a habit he's developed recently?
Or has he always been like that?
If he's recently changed, there may be some underlying issue that's causing him to lie.
Maybe he wants you to confront him so he can spill whatever has made his behaviour change.

If he's always been like that, perhaps you should sit down with a piece of paper and pen and write down what his good qualities are and what really irritates you about him.
If you've got more in the negative column...

74jax

sim2335 said:

Thanks breaking_free

theres no need for him to lie, we close friends you don’t lie about something like this to a close mate all of a sudden.

when I was not working I was embrassed, I didn’t tell other people truth but I always told him.

it’s not that simple to just ditch him, because he is a friend who has good quality’s too.

also I get angry at myself for not speaking up more, for example he said stupid things like if I played for that football  team they would win everything, but he actually means it, why don’t I have to guts to say you not that or good enough, it’s because then he would get angry or get in argumentive mood and try to prove to me, and I hate arguments confrentaion etc.. 

Maybe he doesn't mind lying to you, the same as you don't mind lying to friends.

Some who you lied to would have guessed you were lying. 

Just get on with your day.  Why waste energy on it.

When you meet up don't ask him about anything you don't want to talk about. No need to be 'off' with him. If he asks how your work is just reply you both have better things to talk about than work. 

sim2335

He has helped me a lot with advice, when I’ve been really down and he’s been only person their.

However on other occasions he’s made me feel really down.

What about when he says something about me I don’t like just ignore it or the worse thing he does is gives huge lecture and when you don’t agree with him tries to prove he’s right, and if you still don’t agree gets angry or annoyed how do I deal with that.

Or sometimes when he thinks you done soemthing wrong he says it., that makes me feel like saying he’s wrong things.