Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 5 - Trying to recover from the pandemic

f0xh0les

Thanks for that @peb  so it is really just an admin issue - the main thing has been sorted, but it needs a rubber stamp.  Then that man really is washed right out of CCL's  hair, and she gets her name on a shiny new mortgage deal.

peb

Yup.  So however awkward he is she will be able to resolve it.  Sadly it will add to costs and time scale as her solicitor will have to attempt to contact him first.   That's why I'm suggesting the conveyancing lawyer does this rather than the family lawyer

f0xh0les

Sheesh, he really is the gift that keeps on giving.

crazy_cat_lady

Thanks again peb. You are quite literally my hero today, and you've made me feel so much better about the whole situation. I knew it was weird as far as I was concerned and I know it's almost unheard of for someone to just disappear off the planet without putting up some sort of fight or something. I think I've got it - I need a new mortgage, with my own solicitor (they have their conveyancing department who were going to deal with it when he was going to sign) and a long offer. The court process definitely drags on even without backlogs. It was a year just to get the agreement from the judge. And you're right f0xh0les, the court order states that he has no claim on the house or the pension, but legally his name is still on the deeds and it just seems to be the hassle of getting him off. I had the mortgage offer but it expired, then the pandemic happened, then this... You're exactly right peb, the order says that if ex won't sign then a judge will. I just need the mortgage offer now.
I've survived the first week back at school, and in between the darker mornings, my hormonal issues and a thousand small things trying to upset me I'm amazed that I'm still here and half smiling. The beginning of the week was tough but it has picked up as we've gone on and although I'm tired I feel better mentally. Think I might have to psyche myself up to talk to the doctors again about hormones and menopause because there are definitely issues there. I just need to stand up for myself and be clear.

badmemory

Is there  a medical reason for them not to give you HRT?  Answer on here definitely not required!  If so would they consider giving you patches?  My sister's doc won't give her tablets (well she is over 70) but will give her patches.

Just for you to think about!

LittleMissDetermined

Hey CCL, don’t let your doctors fob you off (easier said than done, I know) 

At work, we had an employee welfare session with a presentation by a menopause specialist… here’s the website in case it helps you xx 

https://thebms.org.uk/find-a-menopause-specialist/

You have such an awful lot going on at the moment, please don’t forget to be kind to yourself 

LMD x

Betharooni

Hi @crazy_cat_lady

I’m a long-time reader, first time poster in your diaries. I read the following article and immediately thought of you. Maybe take this to the doctors with you?

Menopause: Bereaved husband urges men to spot mental health signs https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-59208883

Theres also mention of a Menopause Support group, who you may be interested in.

B x

crazy_cat_lady

Evening all
I know I keep threatening to post on here regularly and then disappearing for weeks on end. It's not intentional - I'm just exhausted with juggling so many plates at the moment and literally every spare minute I have is spent doing something. I have a few bits of exam stuff going on, as well as teaching and mock exams at school for Y11 as well. Then I have the money stress, the dark nights and mornings and everything else thrown in and I just find myself either busy at work or busy at home.
Anyway, life remains busy and my financial situation remains rubbish - however I do have a plan. Six months of throwing everything that I have at my debt and then applying again for a mortgage in my own name. It gives me something to look forward to and I feel better about it thanks to peb's advice - rather than assuming that the endless people I speak to on the phone actually know what they are doing, because it is clear that they don't.
Also have some progress to report in that I have a real, face to face doctor's appointment on Monday to discuss the peri menopausal symptoms. I have written everything down, and it's a doctor that I like and trust so hopefully we can make some progress somewhere. I'm fed up of being ok shortly followed by being hysterical, anxious and upset for a good few days every month. I hope there's a better solution than me 'losing weight' which has always been the standard thing she says.
Anyway I feel like I'm making some progress, albeit slow, with my life generally. I don't have a complete feeling of hopelessness at the moment and I feel like I'm doing everything that I can. I'm still busy though - work and the other job are keeping me quite busy to the point where my next day off is looking like the weekend of 11th December. I'm thinking about a fortnight off work and the money coming rolling in afterwards. Short term pain, long term gain and all that.
For not having been on here for almost a month I don't seem to have very much to say. I'm sitting in the house battened down and hearing Storm Anwen doing her very worst outside. I have everything crossed that my house, garden, fence and car remain intact after she moves through. It sounds absolutely wild out there at the moment - really windy and really wet snow. I am so pleased that I don't have to get up and go into work in the morning (unlike dd who starts at half seven).
Christmas is looming and I don't feel even a little bit festive as yet. I feel stressed about trying to get presents for everyone but I think that I've bought well and made the most of sales, vouchers and cashback sites. The kids are having another frugal Christmas but I think they have things that they want - quality rather than quantity. Struggling with my work secret Santa and finding something meaningful for them. They are a trans woman, but not out at work. I want to buy something lovely but not out them at work either. It's hard but I am really thinking hard. I don't want anything for myself for Christmas (except the ex gone for good) other than some time off work and to see my friends and family so I have become one of those awkward people that really don't want anything from anyone. I'm even starting to annoy myself now,

peb

So pleased to hear that you have an appointment with a doctor you trust.   

badmemory

It really annoys me when they suggest losing weight as the only solution to everything.  Don't they realise that if you feel well it is so much easier to lose weight.  And since when did losing weight get rid of menopause symptoms?  When the menopause itself can cause weight problems.