The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

stymied

“ I'd put everything thing else (other than eating) on hold and empty the bedroom of everything other than the bed, desk and wardrobe, then concentrate on making it YOUR space.”

Great idea! Can you dump everything else in the spare room and bring it back a bit at a time so it doesn’t impact on your mum?

Any way your sister could do dinner as part of your visit tomorrow?

Sun_Addict

We get a lot of flies in our house this time of year as soon as we open the patio doors. On the plus side the kitten catches them and eats them 🤢

Buffythedebtslayer

stymied said:

“ I'd put everything thing else (other than eating) on hold and empty the bedroom of everything other than the bed, desk and wardrobe, then concentrate on making it YOUR space.”

Great idea! Can you dump everything else in the spare room and bring it back a bit at a time so it doesn’t impact on your mum?

Any way your sister could do dinner as part of your visit tomorrow?

Unfortunately the spare room is quite full. Less said about that the better. Last time I cleaned it out Mum was so disappointed as there was loads of stuff still there. And now there is more. Some is mine unfortunately. 

Today wasn't terribly successful. As with most Saturdays I was so tired. Did washing, minimal shopping and took mum to her appointment, had lunch and fell asleep. Slept for almost 4 hours. I absolutely must go to bed early. Now of course am wide awake!! 

Chrystal

Buffythedebtslayer said:

Chrystal said:

You're maybe getting flys because of the indoor pets... not a lot you can do about it, so keep the windows open and hopefully they'll fly out again

I think one of your main problems is you try to spread yourself too thin.  Taking on so many things that need doing all at the same time ends up with everything half done and nothing finished.  Having read your diary for a while it seems that your first priority should be your bedroom.  It would give you somewhere to work comfortably and also be your 'safe space', which I think you need.

 Rabbit hutches, rabbit bonding, piggy runs, grass cutting, clearing sheds,  tip runs are superfluous to having a bedroom which can be your sanctuary.  Does the clearout seem to big? Are the other 'imperatives' a way of avoiding what seems to be a massive task? 

I'd put everything thing else (other than eating) on hold and empty the bedroom of everything other than the bed, desk and wardrobe, then concentrate on making it YOUR space. 

To be honest I think your first priority at the moment has to be you... you know what they say about grabbing your own oxygen mask first....((((hugs)))) XX

I agree with you, and the room should be a priority. Unfortunately whatever job I do I don't get a clear run at it, I have to do something else so I do things like the shed or the garden cos just stopping is doable, as in it doesn't matter if I make a mess or don't finish something, it doesn't impact on mum. It is just a list of excuses really I know, I know other people manage and hats off to them but I can't at the moment. 

And also you are totally right about the bedroom being a massive task. Worst it has ever been. When I had my house bun I had to keep the floor clear but now it is just a dumping ground. An absolute dumping ground! 

I'm saying this from a caring place.  Stop making excuses. 

Tell your Mum, and yourself, that you can't make an omlette without breaking eggs. 

Yes it will be worse for a while, till it's sorted out. It;s worth a weeks mayhem to achieve it.  Can mum stay with sister for a week or so?

Hire a skip if needed and throw EVERYTHING that's not needed in your room into it... also anything from the 'spare room' that will fit in.  Let someone else take the load off your shoulders by just putting things into the skip and then having it taken away. It won't be done overnight, and you will need to be ruthless but you CAN do this if you really want to. XXXX

Buffythedebtslayer

Chrystal said:

Buffythedebtslayer said:

Chrystal said:

You're maybe getting flys because of the indoor pets... not a lot you can do about it, so keep the windows open and hopefully they'll fly out again

I think one of your main problems is you try to spread yourself too thin.  Taking on so many things that need doing all at the same time ends up with everything half done and nothing finished.  Having read your diary for a while it seems that your first priority should be your bedroom.  It would give you somewhere to work comfortably and also be your 'safe space', which I think you need.

 Rabbit hutches, rabbit bonding, piggy runs, grass cutting, clearing sheds,  tip runs are superfluous to having a bedroom which can be your sanctuary.  Does the clearout seem to big? Are the other 'imperatives' a way of avoiding what seems to be a massive task? 

I'd put everything thing else (other than eating) on hold and empty the bedroom of everything other than the bed, desk and wardrobe, then concentrate on making it YOUR space. 

To be honest I think your first priority at the moment has to be you... you know what they say about grabbing your own oxygen mask first....((((hugs)))) XX

I agree with you, and the room should be a priority. Unfortunately whatever job I do I don't get a clear run at it, I have to do something else so I do things like the shed or the garden cos just stopping is doable, as in it doesn't matter if I make a mess or don't finish something, it doesn't impact on mum. It is just a list of excuses really I know, I know other people manage and hats off to them but I can't at the moment. 

And also you are totally right about the bedroom being a massive task. Worst it has ever been. When I had my house bun I had to keep the floor clear but now it is just a dumping ground. An absolute dumping ground! 

I'm saying this from a caring place.  Stop making excuses. 

Tell your Mum, and yourself, that you can't make an omlette without breaking eggs. 

Yes it will be worse for a while, till it's sorted out. It;s worth a weeks mayhem to achieve it.  Can mum stay with sister for a week or so?

Hire a skip if needed and throw EVERYTHING that's not needed in your room into it... also anything from the 'spare room' that will fit in.  Let someone else take the load off your shoulders by just putting things into the skip and then having it taken away. It won't be done overnight, and you will need to be ruthless but you CAN do this if you really want to. XXXX

I really do know you mean well and you certainly aren't the first person to say almost exactly that to me, I am amazed people still read this diary as it is - as you will gather fairly repetitive. I am afraid working full time with Ofsted looming, having a second job and caring for mum in the rest of the time I have it just isn't possible. My sister is full time carer for her partner who is bed bound and unable to do anything for himself. It wouldn't be possible for her to have mum, it is causing enough worry going over there this weekend. I know to the outside it looks like excuses but well, I don't know what else to say. It isn't the end of world, my friends in real life think I am crazy to worry so much about the house and the garden. To them it isn't that bad and it doesn't matter. 

Buffythedebtslayer

Ooo I forgot to say that my mechanic is looking for a car for me. So that is something to look forward to, although I adore my car. He does at least know what I like and it will be

I went back and read some of my diary - I am astounded people read! But I will say the conservatory is still fairly decent, the kitchen is always ok and I did (finally) move the living room round and it works a lot better. I think the thing with mum and my sister is that they are unpredictable in terms of say mum having good days and my bil being ill. Things can take an awful long time. It is interesting reading back. I really forget how she didn't used to eat and forget her pills. Winter was horrendous. It really was. She has been so much better on the steroids and now this new tablet. 

xx

Jellytotts

Any chance of your Mum going off to your sister in America like she used to?  Must be years since they've seen each other now.  Does she not come over to visit?

I remember you used to get so much done while she was away.

Buffythedebtslayer

Jellytotts said:

Any chance of your Mum going off to your sister in America like she used to?  Must be years since they've seen each other now.  Does she not come over to visit?

I remember you used to get so much done while she was away.

It was amazing. Mum would be away for like 8 weeks and I would do all sorts! Was so happy to finally sort things out. It was good for about 3 months after she came back and then she would move things and do things her way. We have now had three years of doing things her way. 

She thinks she is going next year. I think it will be too expensive and exhausting for her. So I am not sure to be honest. I really wish she would go for Christmas but she won't. 

Buffythedebtslayer

Does anyone have any advice on anxious dogs? 

Mum got up early (we are going out this afternoon) so she let them out instead of me (still blissfully asleep at 8am on Sunday funny enough) and they have been mega jumpy all morning. 

They do this, they won't eat, won't go out in the garden. One slight change in the routine and that is it! 

Alchemilla

I can pm you the name of a really good trainer.