The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

Buffythedebtslayer

Things are still bad here. The poor dogs have wee'd in the kitchen or the conservatory every day for about a week - as in when I have come home from work there are marks on the floor, only water marks and always on the lino or tile flooring so easy to clean. But the smell when I get in, an overheated house and dog wee, AWFUL. 

Now I thought it was mum not letting them out but it seems to be a habit they are in now where they don't even ask to go out. Weirdly they didn't wee when we out but this morning I let them out and  they did what they needed to do but an hour or so later there was wee in conservatory. 

I am actually going nuts here. I feel like nothing is ever clean and Mum just doesn't care/know cos she is in pain all the time. Which I do get, well I don't but i know she is ill and pain is bad. 

I will calm down eventually. Don't even know what to do. Have to go to work at 4. 

Alchemilla

Work today? 

Maybe dogs are stressed and acting out? 

Buffythedebtslayer

Alchemilla said:

Work today? 

Maybe dogs are stressed and acting out? 

yeah, I also work for a tutoring company. 

I think they probably are. In the holidays I noticed Mum didn't really have a routine for them and that is why they are they aren't asking to go out. 

Alchemilla

Buffythedebtslayer said:

Alchemilla said:

Work today? 

Maybe dogs are stressed and acting out? 

yeah, I also work for a tutoring company. 

I think they probably are. In the holidays I noticed Mum didn't really have a routine for them and that is why they are they aren't asking to go out. 

Oh gosh you are a busy bee. Hope it goes OK.

Jellytotts

Is there a way of putting the recycling out immediately so it doesn't build in the conservatory? The dogs will be sensing the fact that you're stressed and constantly moving/sorting things. I know one of my cats goes absolutely off the wall stressed if I move furniture about when she's in the house.

If your Mum can't implement a routine with the dogs and you're working more than full time, is it fair to keep them? Sometimes giving a pet up is a blessing for all involved. It's not a failure to no longer be able to cope with an animal.

Your life needs to be more than moving rubbish, going to the tip and feeling constant guilt about animals.

Buffythedebtslayer

Jellytotts said:

Is there a way of putting the recycling out immediately so it doesn't build in the conservatory? The dogs will be sensing the fact that you're stressed and constantly moving/sorting things. I know one of my cats goes absolutely off the wall stressed if I move furniture about when she's in the house.

If your Mum can't implement a routine with the dogs and you're working more than full time, is it fair to keep them? Sometimes giving a pet up is a blessing for all involved. It's not a failure to no longer be able to cope with an animal.

Your life needs to be more than moving rubbish, going to the tip and feeling constant guilt about animals.

When you put it like that! God it is bloody grim. 

I did think, well I went out last weekend, but to be honest all that has done is leave me behind. I think whether I like it or not I am revolting against my situation, I know rationally I need to do all this stuff, but physically I am not doing it. I am just not. I am so resentful, not of mum, I understand she is ill, I am resentful of......... the whole situation I guess. The constant demands.. The dinners I have to think about, having arrange so much to even leave the house. 

I will put the recycling out and risk the foxes. 

I will put reminders on Alexa to let the dogs out. 

I have spoken to mum at length today about the house and the garden. She is feeling quite positive due to the new pills. She does understand that sometimes her and my sister take my time for granted. I am tired of having to think all the things all the time.  

beanielou

One thing I can't deal with is the smell of dog wee or cat wee.
How old are the dogs now Buffy?

Jellytotts

I’ve had to have a life reassessment this week.  Far too many calls on my time, some unavoidable and that left me with so much to do and nothing being done.  I made a huge decision to get rid of a part of my life that I love but that had become a chore and the mental weight has lifted. 

Within hours of making the decision I was back on track, cleaning and tidying and getting life back in order.  The mental pressure of “chores” is immense and giving up some things to concentrate on others is a must.

If you need to currently be there for your sister and Mum then maybe the fish or rabbits need to move along. I know you get “some” pleasure from them but I feel (from what you put here) that you have far more guilt from not cleaning/bonding/spending time with, than you get from them.  Absolving yourself of that “guilt” will help you deal with the caring situation you now find yourself in.  

As for foxes and recycling? Does your council not provide decent bins? We have a food waste caddy, the handle locks the lid but I shove a brick on top.  

You’re doing an amazing job of juggling but cut yourself some slack, you deserve it.

beanielou

Buffster, I really think that something has to give xx

badmemory

If you can't get your recycling out of the house then frankly I'd put it all in the normal bin.  You should not be storing rubbish in the house (yes the conservatory is house) & it probably encourages the dogs to wee in there too.  Not that I would need to do that as we have 4 wheelie bins for recycling & only things with arms can get into those.