The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

Buffythedebtslayer

badmemory said:

From what you have said I'm not sure she would have been entitled to an attendance allowance back then.  The state pension when she started getting it would not have been the single amount it is now.  She could have inherited some as well as having earned extra in her own right.

Yeah I guess, she hates talking about money and just says she gets plenty. Hopefully when social services do an assessment they will let her know? 

Suffolksue

Delurking 
Attendance Allowance is not means tested ,but you do have to accentuate the negative.
it helps to get an advisor ( CAB are v good ) or Social Services to help complete the claim 

greenbee

Buffy - if she says she gets plenty, then suggests she applies for attendance allowance to get professional help, and you can then move out. If she then decides she wants to rent your room out for additional income, that’s fine. 

It might make her think sensibly about it. And it could give you back some independence.

stymied

Googling shows up something called a “discretion to disregard” the property for care home fees: https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/factsheets/fs38_property_and_paying_for_residential_care_fcs.pdf https://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/experts/article-5171703/Will-sister-cared-dad-homeless.html

Just maybe this will work for you. Or maybe your mum will see sense and let someone come in to help. Maybe you could pretend to her it’s temporary until the doctor can help her feel better?

Start deducting grocery costs from the rent you pay?

Stay strong (or have a good cry then cuddle a 🐰) xx

Jellytotts

Attendance allowance is basically PIP or in old terms Disability living allowance for those over pension age. She won't be getting it unless she's applied for it. There's forms to download and fill in and you'd need to list all her conditions and how they effect her on a daily basis.  She might not be happy to see it all written down or want to make a fuss but if shes entitled to it, it will help towards the costs of someone coming in to check up on her if you move out/at work/on holiday.

It is vital that you start getting your safety net sorted now, absolutely no more spends on furniture/pet stuff/garden stuff....aside from the very basics for the pets you need to get as much behind you as possible and start planning what will happen to the pets if you're forced to rent.  Hideous I know but big girl pants time.

Buffythedebtslayer

I went on a reallllly long walk and feel much less angry. I do live near a beautiful place. I will take on board all of your posts, thank you for looking up stuff and sharing your knowledge. I do appreciate it. Really I do. 

As I said the reality is I need to stop spending on the house, I need to save as much as as I can and that is it. Mum will do what mum does and I stay because I love her. I will do my best to help and ensure she is safe. 

And now I need dinner. 

Anyone else watching Question Time. 

The female journalist who came here as a child is amazing. 

beanielou

I gave you the info on AA the other day.
Phone for the form   

beanielou

PS  Am seeing Butti next week!!

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou said:

PS  Am seeing Butti next week!!

That is so cool Beanie! XXXX Is she coming to you? 

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou said:

I gave you the info on AA the other day.
Phone for the form   

Yep Thank you XX