The Best View Comes After the Hardest Climb.

badmemory

Would your mother consider a power of attorney.  I've had one for over 5 years now.  I have control of it until I decide that I no longer want to deal with my finances & health (as in a locked box only I have a key for).  £82 each.  You register them but that does not mean they are going to be used.  If she doesn't have one & needs a care home then the LA get it & charge an ongoing fee.  Also without the health one you have no right to know what doctors are doing.  Most will tell you but some will definitely not.

Buffythedebtslayer

badmemory said:

Would your mother consider a power of attorney.  I've had one for over 5 years now.  I have control of it until I decide that I no longer want to deal with my finances & health (as in a locked box only I have a key for).  £82 each.  You register them but that does not mean they are going to be used.  If she doesn't have one & needs a care home then the LA get it & charge an ongoing fee.  Also without the health one you have no right to know what doctors are doing.  Most will tell you but some will definitely not.

Mum won't entertain any of this I am afraid, I will suggest it to my sister as she listens to her. 

Buffythedebtslayer

Ok enough of this negativity. 

I have made my bed and I must lay in it. Staying here means Mum is safe, I have the garden and the animals (my petting Zoo) 
and I have my job, my car and my savings.. Mum is not "that bad" and can and will cope if I do more. Plus there is the distinct possibility that she could have treatment and improve. She did before. 

We are having lasagne for dinner and I need to go for a walk. Was so shattered after sorting my classroom I napped for two hours!!! 

beanielou

No words of wisdom Buffster, just love  xxx

beanielou

I have given B POA.
He is going to chuck me in the Forth   

Sun_Addict

One of my friend’s elderly parents put their house in trust to her so that if they had to go into a home it wouldn’t be sold to cover the costs. I don’t know the ins and outs of this though, my friend is very astute when it comes to this sort of thing.

badmemory

Sun_Addict said:

One of my friend’s elderly parents put their house in trust to her so that if they had to go into a home it wouldn’t be sold to cover the costs. I don’t know the ins and outs of this though, my friend is very astute when it comes to this sort of thing.

If the parents were already elderly this would be counted as deprivation of assets, so pointless.  Anyway who wants to condemn their parents to the lowest cost care home that the LA will pay for.  Not so bad if they have full blown dementia but if it is just that they are unable to care for themselves due some physical problem it doesn't bear thinking about.  Anyway with the first to go into "care" the LA only take that persons income not the house.  All it does is make money for the solicitors who set it up.

enthusiasticsaver

Sorry you are in this situation but I do think that saving as big a safety net as possible is a good idea as the house may well need to be sold to cover care costs for your mum should she need to go into some sort of residential care as a worst case scenario. I think they can only disregard the house if a spouse or relative  over 60 or incapacitated still lives there. Attendance allowance is one that can be claimed to cover care costs and is not means tested.  Signing over the house in the latter stages is as @badmemory says "deprivation of assets" and from what you say your mum won't do that anyway.  You need to protect yourself whilst doing as much as you reasonably can to care for your mum but there may be a stage where it may be too much for you to cope with.  Hard I know to deal with that and maybe it won't come to that but always best to  think ahead and prepare just in case. 

milann

It’s a tough situation for you Buffy. My only advice is do what ever you think best at a given time…..then accept any decisions you’ve made and don’t look back saying ‘if’. It’s a motto my dad tried to live by and so do I 😏

Buffythedebtslayer

The Lasagne was horrible. It tasted gloopy and horrible. I make a lovely vegetarian one. I won't be buying that one again. I had garlic bread mind so well over the calories. Walked the dogs and am now watching Silent Witness. 

My friends have been so kind to me today. XXX