DCB Legal LoC

34LH89

@Coupon-mad

@KeithP

Hi again - any chance you could have a once over the below? I don't think there's anything missing, but could of course be wrong. I've reviewed other cases and I think this is as strong as some of the others in terms of detail (albeit with a different reason for requesting it is dismissed).

2.       It is admitted that the Defendant was the registered keeper and driver of the vehicle in question, but liability is denied. 

3.         The Defendant visited the car park as part of a visit to the PureGym which is based at the retail park where the car park is located. Users of the PureGym are granted an additional ninety minutes of free parking by entering their registration within the computer system on site.

4.            The Defendant can provide evidence of having a valid membership for this particular PureGym, which was active at the time of the alleged breach of contract, and therefore the extension of parking was available on the date of the alleged breach of contract.

5.            The Defendant was a regular visitor to this gym, with his friend XXX, who was also present on the date of the alleged breach of contract. On several previous occasions, the Defendant and XXX had entered the gym, entered the registration number of the Defendant’s vehicle, used the facilities and then headed into Manchester, before returning to the vehicle before three hours had passed, which the Defendant believes to have been the case on this occasion too.

6.            While the Defendant cannot say for certain the reason that the parking extension hasn’t been noted on this occasion, it could be for a number of reasons including:

                8a.          A fluctuating internet signal between the device and the parking system

                8b.          The device freezing or glitching, or otherwise there being a technical fault

                8c.          User error, including a minor error to the registration entered or not pressing the confirm button correctly

7.            The Claimant has been made aware of the extension made available by Pure Gym, by email, on the 6th July 2021, but has chosen to ignore this and continue to harass the Defendant for unfair charges for parking correctly.

8.            Furthermore, it should be noted that signage on site was of very poor quality, with writing very small and difficult to read, and with some signs in disrepair or otherwise vandalised. The reason for the Defendant’s awareness of the need to register the vehicle’s registration details, was due to a sign within the gym stating that it was required to enter one’s registration to increase free parking from ninety minutes to one hundred and eighty, although no statement of costs for not doing so or otherwise overstaying the agreed parking time, were shown, from memory.

Jenni_D

5.            The Defendant was a regular visitor to this gym, with his friend XXX, who was also present on the date of the alleged breach of contract. On several previous occasions, the Defendant and XXX had entered the gym, and the Defendant entered the registration number of the Defendant’s vehicle., used the facilities and then headed into Manchester, before returning to the vehicle before three hours had passed, which the Defendant believes to have been the case on this occasion too.

Don't volunteer detail that may not be in your interest.  

34LH89

Jenni_D said:

5.            The Defendant was a regular visitor to this gym, with his friend XXX, who was also present on the date of the alleged breach of contract. On several previous occasions, the Defendant and XXX had entered the gym, and the Defendant entered the registration number of the Defendant’s vehicle., used the facilities and then headed into Manchester, before returning to the vehicle before three hours had passed, which the Defendant believes to have been the case on this occasion too.

Don't volunteer detail that may not be in your interest.  

That makes sense - I could perhaps finish that sentence with "and successfully accessed the one hundred and eight minute extension"

Coupon-mad

Totally agree, @Jenni_D.

D_P_Dance

I do not think that that was rude at all. 

Jenni_D

34LH89 said:

Jenni_D said:

5.            The Defendant was a regular visitor to this gym, with his friend XXX, who was also present on the date of the alleged breach of contract. On several previous occasions, the Defendant and XXX had entered the gym, and the Defendant entered the registration number of the Defendant’s vehicle., used the facilities and then headed into Manchester, before returning to the vehicle before three hours had passed, which the Defendant believes to have been the case on this occasion too.

Don't volunteer detail that may not be in your interest.  

That makes sense - I could perhaps finish that sentence with "and successfully accessed the one hundred and eight minute extension"

108 mins extension? 1 hour 48 minutes extension? Seems an unusual number.

34LH89

Jenni_D said:

34LH89 said:

Jenni_D said:

5.            The Defendant was a regular visitor to this gym, with his friend XXX, who was also present on the date of the alleged breach of contract. On several previous occasions, the Defendant and XXX had entered the gym, and the Defendant entered the registration number of the Defendant’s vehicle., used the facilities and then headed into Manchester, before returning to the vehicle before three hours had passed, which the Defendant believes to have been the case on this occasion too.

Don't volunteer detail that may not be in your interest.  

That makes sense - I could perhaps finish that sentence with "and successfully accessed the one hundred and eight minute extension"

108 mins extension? 1 hour 48 minutes extension? Seems an unusual number.

Whoops - typo.

One hundred and eighty!

Fruitcake

6.            While the Defendant cannot say for certain the reason that the parking extension hasn’t been noted on this occasion, it could be for a number of reasons including:

                8a.          A fluctuating internet signal between the device and the parking system

                8b.          The device freezing or glitching, or otherwise there being a technical fault

                8c.          User error, including a minor error to the registration entered or not pressing the confirm button correctly.

You don't need to use sub-paragraph numbers, but if you do they should be the same as the paragraph number.

Personally I would remove 8 6c and replace it with something about a system error such as a button/keys being pressed but the machine not sending the message.

34LH89

Thanks everyone - changes made.

Is this now ready to submit (via email, not MCOL)? The rest of the template - is everything to be left in or is any of it specific to a type of case? Do I need to fully understand what the remains of the template means if questioned on it?

2.       It is admitted that the Defendant was the registered keeper and driver of the vehicle in question, but liability is denied. 

3.         The Defendant visited the car park as part of a visit to the PureGym which is based at the retail park where the car park is located. Users of the PureGym are granted an additional ninety minutes of free parking by entering their registration within the computer system on site.

4.            The Defendant can provide evidence of having a valid membership for this particular PureGym, which was active at the time of the alleged breach of contract, and therefore the extension of parking was available on the date of the alleged breach of contract.

5.            The Defendant was a regular visitor to this gym, with his friend XXX, who was also present on the date of the alleged breach of contract. On several previous occasions, the Defendant and XXX had entered the gym, and then entered the registration number of the Defendant’s vehicle to extend the allowable parking from ninety minutes to one hundred and eighty.

6.            While the Defendant cannot say for certain the reason that the parking extension hasn’t been noted on this occasion, it could be for a number of reasons including:

o    A fluctuating internet signal between the device and the parking system

o    The device freezing or glitching, or the buttons not working

o    The system not saving the entering of the registration details

7.            The Claimant has been made aware of the extension made available by Pure Gym, by email, on the 6th July 2021, but has chosen to ignore this and continue to harass the Defendant for unfair charges for parking correctly.

8.            Furthermore, it should be noted that signage on site was of very poor quality, with writing very small and difficult to read, and with some signs in disrepair or otherwise vandalised. The reason for the Defendant’s awareness of the need to register the vehicle’s registration details, was due to a sign within the gym stating that it was required to enter one’s registration to increase free parking from ninety minutes to one hundred and eighty minutes, although no statement of costs for not doing so or otherwise overstaying the agreed parking time, were shown, from memory.

Le_Kirk

You add the rest of the standard template (paragraphs 4 to end) and adjust paragraph numbering accordingly.  Note that there is already (paragraph 13) defence points about signage, maybe you could combine the two and, as your paragraph 8 has more info, use that and add the bits from 13 to it to give it maximum prominence.