Vendor is insistent on visiting after completion

eidand

Greymug said:

Don't understand all these folks suggesting to cross the address and put the mail back in the letterbox and saying it's the easiest thing to do.

It isn't. You need to pick a pen, write the necessary message, and go to the nearest mail box.

It's way less effort to just chuck the mail in the bin and tell the vendor to !!!!!! off.

absolutely agree with that. the vendor should have redirected his mail long ago, I don't see how that's the problem of the new owner.

Jeepers_Creepers

Josiea said:

New neighbours have mentioned his strange behaviour too…

In which case that should lessen your concern about what others may or may not be saying.

Bottom line - if you do the 'right thing', and do so in a reasonable manner, you can dismiss what anyone else says or may be thinking - that's their problem (and sometimes best to know what folk are like sooner rather than later...)

What is 'reasonable'? Surely it's to not be regularly disturbed at your home by someone who should not be disturbing you at your home! Especially when it's someone for whom you are doing a favour.

Binning the letters - I don't think that's reasonable or fair-minded.

Give the guy a choice. Be pleasant but firm - tell him, "This is just not convenient for you and your family any more. If you give me a forwarding address, I'll forward them. If you don't want to, I'll mark them 'no longer at this address' and put them back in the postbox. Which would you prefer?" Don't be side-tracked - bring it back to that choice. Don't get cross, frustrated or agitated - with a smile, bring it back to that choice.

If he becomes shirty, you can justifiably point out that his manner is part of the reason you will no longer allow these letter to be collected from your house in person.

If he doesn't agree to one of these options, then you immediately go for option 2 - at your convenience. If you want to let them pile up for a week before you pass a convenient p'box, that's fine.

The next time he turns up, just open the door, tell him "Too late - they've been posted", whether they have or not. Don't hand anything over. Close the door right away, or you can ask him first, "Would you now like to give you a forwarding address?"

Repeat ad nauseam.

Now that a neighbour has mentioned his 'strange' behaviour, you are free to explain what's been going on - but keen it 'light' and unemotive, as if it's a 'shame' but not a 'big thing'. Express some sympathy for him - whether he might be doing it because he's a bit 'lost' having moved, lonely, whatevs, but sadly his manner was presumptuous and abrupt, and was becoming a nuisance. Make it clear you then gave him a choice and explain what these were.

You will have shown yourself as being what you are - perfectly fair and reasonable.

Norman_Castle

Can you leave his post outside under a brick preferably on the boundary where it can be reached from the pavement. Tell him its a covid precaution.

I suspect its quite common for people to revisit homes they were happy in. If he does it from outside the boundary without disturbing you where's the harm.

If he doesn't stop you could mention his grass needs cutting and the shed needs a coat of preservative.

m0bov

evebeme said:

Binning the mail or opening it and phoning the senders won't work. That sounds like you are the person and trying  to evade  responsibity. Take the mail to the po and have them do it

Its not the OP's responsibility.

GrumpyDil

Nope it isn't but I still get odd letters from previous occupiers. About once a month I'll write GA/RTS on the envelope(s) and drop it into a postbox while I am out. Doesn't take any time any eventually they'll get the message. 

Emmia

RatInACage said:

Jeepers_Creepers said:

Give the guy a choice. Be pleasant but firm - tell him, "This is just not convenient for you and your family any more. If you give me a forwarding address, I'll forward them. If you don't want to, I'll mark them 'no longer at this address' and put them back in the postbox. Which would you prefer?" Don't be side-tracked - bring it back to that choice. Don't get cross, frustrated or agitated - with a smile, bring it back to that choice.

The OP already has his new address. He's expecting them to either drop the post at his house or allow him to collect it from their house once a week. I think giving him a choice is just going to keep this going. He needs a hard boundary. He's had two months already. I would only give the option of redirecting his post and updating his address with the various companies at this point.

I would only do a return to sender - advise him that's what will happen when he next pops round. He can sign up to Royal Mail redirection online - or contact the companies quickly & directly. 

When he comes round again, tell him it has all gone back to the sender...

Or if he keeps going to the neighbour, leave his mail there.

Abbafan1972

Emmia said:

RatInACage said:

Jeepers_Creepers said:

Give the guy a choice. Be pleasant but firm - tell him, "This is just not convenient for you and your family any more. If you give me a forwarding address, I'll forward them. If you don't want to, I'll mark them 'no longer at this address' and put them back in the postbox. Which would you prefer?" Don't be side-tracked - bring it back to that choice. Don't get cross, frustrated or agitated - with a smile, bring it back to that choice.

The OP already has his new address. He's expecting them to either drop the post at his house or allow him to collect it from their house once a week. I think giving him a choice is just going to keep this going. He needs a hard boundary. He's had two months already. I would only give the option of redirecting his post and updating his address with the various companies at this point.

I would only do a return to sender - advise him that's what will happen when he next pops round. He can sign up to Royal Mail redirection online - or contact the companies quickly & directly. 

When he comes round again, tell him it has all gone back to the sender...

Or if he keeps going to the neighbour, leave his mail there.

I wouldn't do this either, it's just encouraging him more to not change the addresses or set up a redirection. 

Frogletina

GrumpyDil said:

Nope it isn't but I still get odd letters from previous occupiers. About once a month I'll write GA/RTS on the envelope(s) and drop it into a postbox while I am out. Doesn't take any time any eventually they'll get the message. 

Over 20 years ago I kept getting letters in the post for a previous owner. I kept sending them back as RTS, no longer at this address, but they kept returning.

Fed up after a while of doing this, I waited till I had a few letters and taped them altogether and once again put on RTS, no longer at this address, and popped the bundle in the post.

A few days later, the bundle arrived back intact!

I decided to open the largest envelope and found correspondence stapled together which covered a period of several months. And amongst this correspondence was a letter from the previous owner to the company advising them that they were moving and giving their new address!

Armed with this address I was able to ensure the letters got to the correct destination. Finally.

GaleSF63

Emmia said:

Or if he keeps going to the neighbour, leave his mail there.

That could just pass the problem on to the neighbour who might not be happy already that he keeps coming back to see them. 

And it won't put a stop to the mail arriving in the first place. 

Emmia

GaleSF63 said:

Emmia said:

Or if he keeps going to the neighbour, leave his mail there.

That could just pass the problem on to the neighbour who might not be happy already that he keeps coming back to see them. 

And it won't put a stop to the mail arriving in the first place. 

On several occasions on this thread I've advocated returning the mail to sender - but many people seem to think this won't work. 

The OP wants the mail to stop. IMO they need to RTS by writing that on the envelope and putting them back in the post box  - not offering a redirection (the vendor can pay the cost of the RM service) but if the previous vendor is visiting neighbours it could offer a "softer" option for them (if RTS is unpalatable) if the neighbours will agree.