Three years to get debt free

Sun_Addict

I’m so sorry to read your sad news. My mum waited until I’d gone to slip away, it seems to be a common thing. Sorry to hear about the extra stress surrounding your aunt. I had a very similar experience when I lost my mum and it’s not what you want when you’re trying to deal with grief.

Take care xx

StickyTheStickInsect

Happy Christmas.

I’m sorry to hear your sad news, thinking of you and DD xxx

alt80

@Willowtree222 I’m so sorry to read your update today tbh have no words, first time for everything ha. I really hope 2025 is a better year for you.

Willowtree222

Thanks all,

It's been a very rough year for us all. The sudden passing of my cousin, my surgery, then two deaths and a damaged wrist. 

The good part is the damaged wrist enabled me to be there a lot more at the end as I couldn't work so was visiting a lot. I think I did it for a reason so that I could be there. I have some fond final memories with her that I wouldn't have had otherwise. 

Dinner was nice though. It's the first time I've ever cooked for 7 of us (I've done buffets and curries just never Christmas dinner). DD told me we shouldn't do it again as it was too stressful!! She didn't even help!! Afterwards we just relaxed and watched a film. None of us have relaxed for at least a month with the goings on so I said to my dad that it was nice to see everyone just so calm and not running round or upset. Even the dogs were very calm after their dinners. We normally have games or some fun, but it didn't seem appropriate and looking at how relaxed everyone was, probably best. 

I did change my phone over to SIM only in the morning. That's a £42 a month saving. Still managing on Christmas day to do something MS.

I have gone overboard with money this Christmas. I used my bonus money and also the extra work I did. I would normally save some, but I think the week's events meant I didn't stop and count the money. None of it has gone on credit cards or put me in debt, though. The indulgence was on food and drink. 

I got a fair bit of money too and will consider what I would like with it. It usually replenishes what I've bought previously but I've not bought myself anything. I haven't been able to drive so been unable to go out. 

DD is having tomorrow at her dad's and will be back the 27th. I'm not sure what I'm up to. I have a jigsaw to finish and some films to catch up on. I won't be going out, not with the huge shopping mall near me and the level of queues that causes. 

Hoping to have another peaceful day. 
X

Honeysucklelou2

So sorry to read  of your losses. Thinking of you at this time.

Willowtree222

Thank you to everyone who has left a lovely comment. Grief is a horrendous thing. DD is carrying round a teddy bought with my aunties gift to her. She's devastated and it's hard for her to process. 

She should have stayed with her dad last night and I had nice plans but unfortunately her dad doesn't know her and by 10pm she was back home. I'd had various messages throughout the day and tons of video calls. He didn't even know she was scared of the dark and suggested turning off the light. 

She's not very happy with him at the minute. 

I went to the post office today and paid in my cash, I bought a cuddle chair for the conservatory, and started a new jigsaw. I've ordered some diamond pictures as DD needed help and I found it quite therapeutic when I was helping with hers. I also saw some stuff that DD would love for her birthday and got them in the shop sale. Walking has been great for my health. I'm averaging so many steps.

My sister has invited me round tomorrow afternoon and in the morning my close friend and I are doing our own little Christmas. I've also need to help my parents clear out my aunties house. She had a lot of clutter and as it was rented we only have a couple of weeks. 

I've also managed to build my emergency fund. Over pay one debt and I get my bonus work money on the 31st. We have a pantomime that day as well. It's the funniest thing I've ever seen as it has a comedian in it. We went last year and I cried laughing. 

It's been a very hard year and I'm not going to say anything about next year. We are starting the year with 2 funerals. 

What I will be positive about is that I am still dedicated to paying off debt and saving money. I've made huge progress this year and I am sure I have the determination to carry it through next year too. 

Wishing everyone a lovely in between week!

Sun_Addict

That’s unfortunate that DD’s dad doesn’t really know her, his loss. I grew up without my dad and can’t say I’ve ever felt deprived in the least. Your DD has a lovely mum in you and that’s all she needs. I was scared of the dark too as a child and still am to some extent. I leave the curtains open as I need a bit of light or I can’t sleep. 

I try not to plan too far ahead because you never know what’s around the corner. A month at a time suits me better. 

Just take things one step at a time x 

Willowtree222

Sun_Addict said:

That’s unfortunate that DD’s dad doesn’t really know her, his loss. I grew up without my dad and can’t say I’ve ever felt deprived in the least. Your DD has a lovely mum in you and that’s all she needs. I was scared of the dark too as a child and still am to some extent. I leave the curtains open as I need a bit of light or I can’t sleep. 

I try not to plan too far ahead because you never know what’s around the corner. A month at a time suits me better. 

Just take things one step at a time x 

That's very good advice, thank you. We're currently doing one day at a time as the threats we've had suggest solicitors or the police will be involved. I suspect it's over money and the will. There's a few shocks that people will be getting. 

DD always has a light on and we make everywhere do she feels ok. 

The fact he doesn't know her is so sad. Yes, she has autism and is very rigid, but she's also a very kind and caring girl x1

Sun_Addict

I had threats when my mum died, people after the very small amount of money she left. I was an only child so the people involved weren’t even related just seemed to think they were entitled to a share. It was extremely upsetting and stressful at a time I really didn’t need it so my heart goes out to you. I cut them out of my life after being firm and not giving in to them. It’s amazing how a sniff of money brings some people crawling out of the woodwork 🤬 Stay strong 💪 

Willowtree222

Sun_Addict said:

I had threats when my mum died, people after the very small amount of money she left. I was an only child so the people involved weren’t even related just seemed to think they were entitled to a share. It was extremely upsetting and stressful at a time I really didn’t need it so my heart goes out to you. I cut them out of my life after being firm and not giving in to them. It’s amazing how a sniff of money brings some people crawling out of the woodwork 🤬 Stay strong 💪 

Thanks Sun Addict. We don't even know what they want. My auntie died with a will that a solicitor has so nobody has access to it anyway. We can't give them anything as her will says what she wants and we don't have access to that.  

We don't need it the stress anyway, we're trying to grieve and this isn't helping at all. 

I just feel for my dad. 

DDs dad has cancelled taking her to her ice skating lesson tomorrow. Last minute as usual. He cancelled another club last minute, too last week. I just wish he'd stop letting her down. He knows I can't drive and it's not easily accessed on public transport on a Sunday at 8.45am start. It's a bus and two trams. Seriously could do without the stress of it and him.