had a guts full

sarah1975uk

it will be a hard lesson for her to learn but you must follow through on this, i know you feel terrible, but hopefully your daughter will learn from this, and buck her ideas up. if you give in it gives her mixed messages of she can keep treating you all like crap and still get the expensive rewards she wants. Your teaching her a valuable lesson hard as it is, tough love is a good lesson to learn.

iwanttosave_2

siamesecats wrote: »

yes she knows i have taken it back spent all day in her room. while we were out asked her sister if we went to tesco. seemed upset but still had huge attitude with us all.
tough love i hope.im not looking forward to this xmas i hope im doing the right thing.:o

I think you are. You need to let her know that behaviour like this will not go without the consequences.

I think a lot of teens go off the rails a bit at 15, I know I did. I think its because you are stuck in that bit where you're too old to be a child and too young to be an adult, and they are soooo easily led at that age.

Let her know that had she acted within the rules you have set out, you wouldn't have done this. Its entirely her fault.

sarah1975uk

do you give her one to one time out just you and her, even go and get hair done together or shopping trip or even out to the pictures together to bond more and for her to have more of a one on one relationship with you? 15 is an odd age not a girl not a woman, must be really confusing for her and maybe shes acting like this toward you all because of confusion and frustration for attention. When my stepdaughter was 15 she was a nightmare too, totally played me and hubby off against eachother, disrespectful, and a general tearaway. Now shes 18/19 and really doing well for herself got a full time job, her own flat, responsibility and we all get on well now its like she grew up into a well balanced young lady over the space of a year and hearing you speak of your daughter now is exactly how she was at the same age.

siamesecats

sarah1975uk wrote: »

do you give her one to one time out just you and her, even go and get hair done together or shopping trip or even out to the pictures together to bond more and for her to have more of a one on one relationship with you? 15 is an odd age not a girl not a woman, must be really confusing for her and maybe shes acting like this toward you all because of confusion and frustration for attention. When my stepdaughter was 15 she was a nightmare too, totally played me and hubby off against eachother, disrespectful, and a general tearaway. Now shes 18/19 and really doing well for herself got a full time job, her own flat, responsibility and we all get on well now its like she grew up into a well balanced young lady over the space of a year and hearing you speak of your daughter now is exactly how she was at the same age.

to be honest yes i try to give her 1 to 1 time. but maybe not enouth to be frank her lying does my nut in .i have told her time and time again that i love her to bits but this crap must stop.

sarah1975uk

i say the same to my james but he still continues to do my head in with his disruptive ways... why im up till 123am because im sick of it all and now cant sleep lol

siamesecats

:mad: must add with punishment like grounding her ( throughout summer holidays shes great very helpful not so chopsey she was grounded ) but as soon as you let her out thats when she continues to take the !!!!:mad: i feel she just doesnt learn

sarah1975uk

the lying and deceit does my nut in and total lack of respect, doesnt seem to give a crap about consequenses either omg and at age 7 thats not good what the hell i have in the years ahead with him scares the crap out of me, ill either be 6ft under or in funny farm,

sarah1975uk

so have you got any helpful advice for me with james? lol

maryotuam

How about telling her that she can have her PC in 3 months time for consistently excellent behaviour. That way you give her the opportunity to change her behaviour and something positive might come from this. I would also try your best to remain as calm as possible so that she can see that YOU are in control. Remind her that you love her, it's just her behaviour that's disappointing you.

[Deleted User]

I`m just posting to say that things will get better in time. We went through hell with our dd starting at 15. We tried so hard to keep boundaries. It was a nightmare 4 years but one day she became the nice person she is now

The boundaries will be tested over and over again. OP you need to have a hug and someone to tell you that she will grow out of it

You did the right thing re the pc. Make her earn one ie points for jobs in the house, being nice etc