Am I a terrible person?

One-step-at-a-time

Popping in to offer some support. It absolutely can be handled - it will take a bit of discipline but you have sufficient income to make dents relatively quickly. I had similar feelings about our debt as I was the one in charge of the finances. For context, our gross household income has never exceeded 50k (unlike our debts!). 
I had no 0% offers for ages but ended up with two existing cards that had a bit of space on them offering 4.9% and 3.9% with no fees, so I played ping pong with the debt £1-£2k at a time, bouncing it between cards until I'd got most of it out of the 20something% interest range (payments were always applied to the portion with the highest %interest) - having reduced the monthly interest progress was faster, and after a while the 0% offers started coming back. It was a bit of effort but saved a lot of money in the long run.

Jackmessedup

Good morning everyone. 

So after an awful few days I want to share some positive steps that I have taken 

Had an appointment with my GP yesterday and he had reccomended medication and counselling due how depressed I am feeling. I have had this before and I know I am not in a good place now. 

I have also called 3 of my creditors and they have agreed to suspend interest and charges without any impact to my credit file. One of them for 12 months! Apparently as long as I maintain my interest free minimum payments there will be no adverse impact on my credit file. Really pleased about that

Long chat to my dad this morning about things. He is amazing and whilst I am not sure I can accept it, he wants to give me £200 a month!!! Apparently it makes him feel like he doing somerthing to help. he's retired with a good income but I am not comfortable with taking money from him, although it's a nice gesture and I am so grateful

TheAble

It is nice of him but lack of money/income doesn't seem to be an issue in your case.

Good news on getting the interest frozen - definitely take full advantage of the opportunity.

Jackmessedup

TheAble said:

It is nice of him but lack of money/income doesn't seem to be an issue in your case.

Good news on getting the interest frozen - definitely take full advantage of the opportunity.

I agree - we can afford to sort this if we get organised. I think that it was just his way of wanting to do something to help

Sea_Shell

That's a generous offer from your Dad.

Will he be gifting it for you to use to pay down the debt, or is it so you can still have the occasional "treat", on him?

It's a subtle difference, but can risk being misinterpreted if not agreed up front specifically what the money is for (personal family experience!).

Jackmessedup

Sea_Shell said:

That's a generous offer from your Dad.

Will he be gifting it for you to use to pay down the debt, or is it so you can still have the occasional "treat", on him?

It's a subtle difference, but can risk being misinterpreted if not agreed up front specifically what the money is for (personal family experience!).

I think it's to help pay the debt. I am still not sure that I am happy to accept it, despite his insistence. 

Sea_Shell

Jackmessedup said:

Sea_Shell said:

That's a generous offer from your Dad.

Will he be gifting it for you to use to pay down the debt, or is it so you can still have the occasional "treat", on him?

It's a subtle difference, but can risk being misinterpreted if not agreed up front specifically what the money is for (personal family experience!).

I think it's to help pay the debt. I am still not sure that I am happy to accept it, despite his insistence. 

You could always accept the gift, but keep your own tally and then once you're back on your feet and debt free you could treat him, or save to pay him back.

If you accept, make sure that it goes straight to paying off a debt.  That way you can tell him quicker that it's sorted and you no longer need his help.

Are you an only child?

Jackmessedup

Sea_Shell said:

Jackmessedup said:

Sea_Shell said:

That's a generous offer from your Dad.

Will he be gifting it for you to use to pay down the debt, or is it so you can still have the occasional "treat", on him?

It's a subtle difference, but can risk being misinterpreted if not agreed up front specifically what the money is for (personal family experience!).

I think it's to help pay the debt. I am still not sure that I am happy to accept it, despite his insistence. 

You could always accept the gift, but keep your own tally and then once you're back on your feet and debt free you could treat him, or save to pay him back.

If you accept, make sure that it goes straight to paying off a debt.  That way you can tell him quicker that it's sorted and you no longer need his help.

Are you an only child?

No I have a sibling, however she has already had quite a bit from them I suppose due to weddings etc. 

Magnolia

Jackmessedup said:

Sea_Shell said:

That's a generous offer from your Dad.

Will he be gifting it for you to use to pay down the debt, or is it so you can still have the occasional "treat", on him?

It's a subtle difference, but can risk being misinterpreted if not agreed up front specifically what the money is for (personal family experience!).

I think it's to help pay the debt. I am still not sure that I am happy to accept it, despite his insistence. 

You don't need to refuse him outright - I agree with you about feeling uncomfortable about accepting the money when you have enough disposable income to sort your finances yourself.

Just thank him for his very generous offer and ask him to put it on hold for the time being and if you feel you could need it then you will be able to approach him at a later date.

Hopefully that will make him feel he is still needed but just not at this minute.

Jackmessedup

Managed to have a money conversation with wife earlier. I find this difficult. 

I still didn't manage to disclose the total amount of debt that we are in but I did ask her if she wanted me to write it all down- she said no that she didn't need me to do that. We have agreed that each month I will tell her how much we have cleared. I hope to reach a point in the future where I can tell her the exact amount but at the moment I just can't do it.