We really can't afford the house we want/need will things get better for us or just forget it?

mrsmortgage

Justonemorecupoftea said:

If your salary has gone up meaning you can borrow, does that mean it's the deposit that's the issue? Could you look at a 5% ltv product?
How much equity do you have in your current house (also has the been valued recently)?
Or is it repayments on the bigger borrowing?

Either way it sounds like you might have to make a few lifestyle changes. Either a few years of less expensive holidays, Christmas gifts etc to get a better deposit (whilst also increasing equity) or a look at budgeting to increase your affordability.

even with a 5% mortgage, they wouldn't lend us enough, it's not like they then lend you 6x our joint salaries . Our current equity is around £40k, so not too bad. Yes, it has been valued recently, and if I take that valuation then the equity would be up to £70k, so I'm taking a more sensible approach to much equity we've built. 

I was underemployed for 3 years, we didn't have any holidays, we don't spend more than £50 for Xmas on each of the kiddos, we've had to live frugally as we didn't have a choice. 

Now that we have more disposable income we'd rather enjoy it as they were somewhat tough years. 

mrsmortgage

gwynlas said:

Are you saying that you want a 5 bed house so that each child gets their own room? There are very few of these built as most families put children together. Maybe you should be looking at houses with an extra reception room that could be used as a bedroom or an integral garage that could be converted. 

No, we're happy with a 4 bed where the bigger rooms are at least the same size as our current ones. We're happy with a 3 bed that has multiple "living rooms" but they don't seem to exist around here. 

mrsmortgage

Adsta said:

Depends on how much realistically you could save and how quickly. Have you spoken to a mortgage broker since you have had you increase to see if you can onward purchase higher? 

If that still comes back with you can't afford. Like others have mentioned, need to try figure out which is the higher priority and aim for it. If keeping holidays is and not cutting back on current lifestyle, you can keep it, but you forgo a bigger place. 

You sure you can't change area or move location? Other places around the country have public transport etc, depending on if you want to keep the kids in the same schools etc. Again that's a priority that needs to be taken. 

Our hands are tied because the children are in shared custody, so we need to make that work too. So children have to stay in the same schools and we need them to be able to come back and forth from school themselves as my current job has no flexibility to do school runs and they're old enough to come back on their own. 

RelievedSheff

mrsmortgage said:

hazyjo said:

Does it really matter if the kids have smaller rooms? Would they care if it meant having a garden and bigger house? Would it give them their own extra room downstairs? Not too have to share (which is what I think you're saying), or is it just to let the youngest have their own room later - because they've not had their own room to even compare against so I'd not worry about them getting a smaller room.

It does matter. My daughter has always made a MASSIVE deal that she doesn't have her own room. In their current room at least is big enough that can be divided in "two sections". She has one at her dad's. All the houses we've seen don't really give us that much extra room, the piano wouldn't fit in many of them (for starters), we'd get a bigger kitchen but that's about it.

None of the older children spend any time outside, my daughter grew in a house with a massive garden, she never used it (and still doesn't) and the other two grew up in a house with no outdoor space, so they don't really appreciate it. 

So if the house is a massive deal then you have to change something to get that house. 

You can't have everything. You have already established that you can't afford what you want and that your current home isn't suitable so you have to start finding other ways to get something suitable.

Location is the obvious starting point. If you widen your search radius what become available in your price range.

We had to move out of the city to find a house that we could afford that we wanted to live in. We now have a 25 mile each way commute to work. The plus side is that we now live in a house that we love in an area that we now love. House prices here are so much cheaper than 25 miles down the road.

lookstraightahead

When I was in debt, renting a flat, with a child who had holes in her shoes, I worried about how she would feel when she was older. Her holidays were mainly camp sites, and that was a struggle.

my life has turned round and I have a modest but nice house now, she is an adult just finishing her masters with a job lined up, and family who love her dearly. She doesn't even remember the shoes. And she has fab memories of the camping.
you can't have everything in life, no one can. Kids really don't care and if they do, it will be momentarily.

RelievedSheff

mrsmortgage said:

Adsta said:

RelievedSheff said:

Have to agree with this. My parents went a good few years when I was a kid (with a brother) with no holidays so they could save the more money they needed for a bigger place. 

I do feel some parents now over worry about luxury type holidays for kids, which they are not going to remember all that well. But they will remember the house they grew up in. 

What you have to see here is that the timeline doesn't really benefit the older kids.  We'd have to go without any holidays and live fairly frugally until they'd be 18, 16, and 15. It's really not worth FOR them. The baby yes, would have to not have his very own room for the time being, but he'd eventually get one when he's 6? 

With the best will in the world, you decided to have more children when it sounds as though your house wasn't suitable, and from a previous post you say that you knew even then that the next step up the ladder was unaffordable and unachievable. 

I'm not sure what you want anyone to do to help you. You can't afford the house you want in the area you want.

If you don't go on expensive family holidays how long would it be before you could save the extra deposit that you need? If you do go on expensive holidays then you have to accept that the next move will always be out of reach.

Living frugally needn't mean that the children are missing out. There are lots of free and cheap places in the UK to visit.

RedFraggle

Is extending your current house an option?

mrsmortgage

RelievedSheff said

So if the house is a massive deal then you have to change something to get that house. 

You can't have everything. You have already established that you can't afford what you want and that your current home isn't suitable so you have to start finding other ways to get something suitable.

Location is the obvious starting point. If you widen your search radius what become available in your price range.

We had to move out of the city to find a house that we could afford that we wanted to live in. We now have a 25 mile each way commute to work. The plus side is that we now live in a house that we love in an area that we now love. House prices here are so much cheaper than 25 miles down the road.

My daughter doesn't mind so much sharing as long as the parameters remain the same (biggish room). We need them to be able to come back from school by themselves because of my job. There's  not a lot of public transport and we can't change their schools as the other parents would never agree. 

For my own mental wellbeing we also know it's best to stay in this same area. 

Adsta

Have you actually tried speaking to a broker yet though to see if maybe you can borrow the higher amount? 

I know there are a lot of tools out there that give you an "idea" but honestly you are better off speaking to a broker to see. I ended up being able to get more than what some tools suggested. 

mrsmortgage

Adsta said:

Have you actually tried speaking to a broker yet though to see if maybe you can borrow the higher amount? 

I know there are a lot of tools out there that give you an "idea" but honestly you are better off speaking to a broker to see. I ended up being able to get more than what some tools suggested. 

Yes, we have a broker. £285k is the max they'll let us get.