Boyfriend expects me to buy a house for us

yksi

Here is a way that he might like to consider - which has been done by a friend of mine in construction:
You buy a fixer. By yourself. With only you named on it.
He spends the money to do it up. The two of you have an agreement on how you'll split the profits when it sells.
It's a business, so he invoices you, payable at sale time.
Then you pay him for the work. He will, of course, bill you way over what it actually cost him. That's a win for him. It is also a win for you AND protects your asset.
If the two of you want to then keep repeating this with the next flat, all power to you.

Putting his name on the new property is a very bad idea. It means, if something happened to him, that his son might get half your property. It might in effect mean you're forced to sell your home and hand the cash over to the child's mother. You're only the girlfriend! How can he think it's ok for that?

You will not be protected by having your name on his place, either. What if he owes almost the whole value of the place - you wouldn't have a clue - and if something happened to him or he just stopped paying, you might own half of nothing.

You can politely say that at this time and for the financial security of both of you, you want to keep the properties separate. Because you are a modern woman and you like to look after yourself, and don't let him push that idea aside.

tealady

Agree with YKSI 100%
As Judge Judy would say
"When romance turns to finance dont walk. RUN."

Marcon

Walk away...this relationship is going nowhere (or at least nowhere you want it to go).

Barny1979

thorsoak said:

 and ask to see his credit score.  

I'd be asking to see what outgoings and debts he has, a credit score means diddly squat.

GeordieGeorge

I think that there’s not enough information yet to know. You need to put an actual price / value on what you are each gaining and losing. This includes;
The equity in your house
The equity in his flat
The value of the work that he’s doing (I.e. how much you’d pay someone else to do it)
The uplift in the value of the new house that the work will bring
The cost if materials (and who is paying for them)

I agree with others that at first glance it doesn’t seem equitable, but as is often the case, the devil is in the details.

One more point us that although I’m very far from old fashioned about this, it’s still a bit of an issue that you are mingling so much of your finances when you aren’t married. Is he “the one”? Do you see a lifetime together? If so, then maybe it’s more reasonable to not question if the split is bang- on “fair.”
If not, then you want to treat this more like a business transaction, or more likely not employ a person to do up your house and gift him equity based on the fact that you are currently sleeping together.

Retireinten

You need a conversation asap and it needs to start with something along the lines of 'I love you very much and I see a long and happy future with you, but I have worked hard to become financially secure and I need to be certain your proposal works for me as well as you....' 

Before you even consider linking your finances you must have full disclosure on both sides.    I'd honestly go as far as sharing your credit records!  This should be a non negotiable,  if he refuses the house will be in your name. 


You currently have a property each and you  pay rent to live in his property... seems fair.  He's proposing you buy a joint property with the equity from your home, you lose your rental income and he renovates the property at a cost of a few grand in place of paying you rent. In exchange he puts you on the deeds of his flat. This doesn't sound fair at all unless his flat equity is equal to yours and he shares any profit on the rental flat. 

Your partner renovating the house in exchange for rent is probably reasonable for a set period of time, especially if he is funding the work. 


I'd only consider linking finances IF there is full disclosure and there are no (bad) surprises, the equity in his property is equivalent to yours, you are named on his property deeds as part of the new house buying process. And he shares any profit with you from the flat rental.

But even after all this is in place it still doesn't sit well with me. Not suggesting  your relationship won't last but this would be big pain to unravel if it did. 

nimbo

On the surface it seems like he’d like to own half the new flat that you’ve paid for and he’ll make you jointly liable for half his mortgage. 

How long have you been with him? I appreciate what people earn is a challenging topic but if your considering in investing in property with anyone it’s fair to know general information about income and general terms of outgoings - especially when you reference loans and temporary shortfalls in income. 

You need to both have a full and frank discussion about this and how it will work as things go on. If he can’t even discuss ball park figures with you that’s a massive red flag. 

Please be wary and get some impartial financial advice to feed into this - while it may be an innocent property investment idea - it could be something you come to regret and you need to have a much better understanding of how this is going to work and what it may end up costing you. 

Abbafan1972

I haven't read through all the thread, but alarm bells are ringing with me.

It sounds like him keeping his flat is a plan B for him if you split up.  If you were to sell the house you buy, if his name is on it (regardless of what, if anything, he's put into it financially) he would get half of the proceeds and still have his own flat. 

anotheruser

Propose the other way.
He sell his flat, use that for a house, you put him on your flat.
He won't agree to that.
Run away from him.  You can probably find someone better.

sarahsays

If the relationship was based on love and not money, I don't think he would have been getting you to pay rent to live with him.