Money Moral Dilemma: I sold the books my brother didn't want - should I share the money with him?

edited 27 April 2021 at 1:45PM in Marriage, relationships & families
49 replies 28.3K views


  • MalMonroeMalMonroe Forumite
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    Beremy said:
    I have to wonder about people sometimes.  This is your brother - give him the money instead of risking your relationship with family.  You need to grow up.  
    Thank you! That's exactly what I was thinking. Talk about sibling rivalry - and I'm surprised and quite disgusted to see so many other people advocating nothing but spite. They all need to grow up. My daughter, an only child, has often wondered what it would be like to have a sibling. Reading comments like these, I reckon she's better off as she is.
    Please note that comments are strictly my own opinion, intended to help - never hinder. If they do not help then please ignore as the intention of the forum is to help everyone, if possible. MSE forum rules clearly state "no two people have the same circumstances or experiences and it is up to you to investigate, check and check again before you make any decisions or take any action based on information you glean from our community. Remember, don't rely on what you are reading. Verify it and protect yourself. You are responsible for any action you consequently make." It's always best to verify everything. Inappropriate comments will be reported, as per the Forum rules.
  • edited 29 April 2021 at 11:10AM
    MojisolaMojisola Forumite
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    edited 29 April 2021 at 11:10AM
    Beremy said:
    I have to wonder about people sometimes.  This is your brother - give him the money instead of risking your relationship with family.  You need to grow up.  
    So the person asking the question is risking the sibling relationship, not the brother who has left his unwanted possessions cluttering up his sibling's home for four years and is now having a paddy because some of the books have been sold?

    Perhaps the brother should grow up and say well done to his sibling, enjoy the money, thanks for being so patient about me leaving all that stuff at yours for so long.

  • funinaboxfuninabox Forumite
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    Relationships are more precious than anything, especially money. Family will always be there for you as long as you don’t take them for granted. Split the money (minus costs if you feel you have to) and keep the peace. 
  • Octavia22Octavia22 Forumite
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    If you get on with him ok and he said he had no interest in the books anymore I would have prob just given him a few pound anyway, same if a good friend🤷‍♀️
  • Don’t tell your brother but perhaps treat him to £5 of fish and chips next time you see him. 
  • IneedaservantIneedaservant Forumite
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    Dump the rest of the stuff on him and tell him that, should he bother to do the work involved in selling anything, you want half the profits, simples.
  • pickledonionspaceraiderpickledonionspaceraider Forumite
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    I would certainly give him 50% of the actual profit (i.e  minus selling fees and profit)

    He is your brother

    and in monetary terms, I mean this is less than £25 we are talking about - not really worth the bad feeling / loss of relationship  with brother / hassle it is causing ... and is going to cause in the future - the actual financial sum is very small to cause a big problem with a family member

    Don't go looking for drama where there is none

    With love, POSR <3
  • sharmoorsharmoor Forumite
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    Imo, your brother didn't want any of the items, you were the one who stored them, cluttering your house. Did he pay you storage? . Would he have said anything if you had thrown them away?? Probably not. So it was your time spent listing plus fees,   packing posting storage . Take off all these costs and there wouldn't be much left in profit. So I personally wouldn't split. However, if there are any items left I would share them , for him to do what he wants with his share and you can sell your share.  
  • letthemeatcakeletthemeatcake Forumite
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    I'm in a situation where my sister seperated from her husband and moved in with our dad,and stopped working, although she was below pension age.
    3 years on and he has recently passed away. She is now saying that she will be staying in the house,which was signed over to us 20 years ago. Her previous house was without mortgage. She's saying that this is what dad wants.
    I am faced with throwing her out,or letting her stay until she decides to leave,or goes into care. She is 69.

    This is a real moral dilemma for me.

    Just hope she's no longer married and has a financial agreement sealed at court otherwise the ex will be after her share left by your late Father.

    As for the OP the Brother gifted the items to him rather than dispose of them himself so shouldn't complain if they were sold for a profit but it really depends on how much fall out there is.
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