Money Moral Dilemma: I sold the books my brother didn't want - should I share the money with him?

edited 27 April 2021 at 1:45PM in Marriage, relationships & families
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  • crmismcrmism Forumite
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    You should remind your brother that he didn't want the books and left it to you to dispose of them. They were your property, not his, and he's entitled to nothing.
  • rach_krach_k Forumite
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    Work out how much it would've cost in storage fees for the smallest, cheapest storage unit you can find locally, then subtract that from the money you made selling.  Ask him how he'd like to pay you!  
  • edited 28 April 2021 at 11:54AM
    IanthegolferIanthegolfer Forumite
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    edited 28 April 2021 at 11:54AM
    I'm in a situation where my sister seperated from her husband and moved in with our dad,and stopped working, although she was below pension age.
    3 years on and he has recently passed away. She is now saying that she will be staying in the house,which was signed over to us 20 years ago. Her previous house was without mortgage. She's saying that this is what dad wants.
    I am faced with throwing her out,or letting her stay until she decides to leave,or goes into care. She is 69.

    This is a real moral dilemma for me.

    Families?!??!
  • melvynjsmelvynjs Forumite
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    The answer is in the question.
    He didnt want them.
    I presume he doesnt want the money either.
  • dunspendindunspendin Forumite
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    I think a lot depends on your relationship with your brother!  If it is good, explain to him the work involved and share the proceeds, if he helps in future.  If it is not good, tell him that as you have done all the work involved and he has had no interest, up until the financial side kicked in, you intend to (quite rightly, in my opinion!) keep the proceeds of the sale.
  • JMortJMort Forumite
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    1. Let your brother know that you can see how he is thinking. 
    2. Let him know also that for some time it has been inconvenient and unsatisfactory to be storing his possessions. 
    3. Let him know that you do not wish to be at cross purposes: henceforth you no longer intend to continue storing his property 
    4. Ask your brother where he would like the remainder of his belongings delivering to, and tell him you'll deduct the cost of the delivery from his share of any "profit" acruing forom the sale ("profit" being the sale proceeds minus any reasonable costs  incurred by yourself).


  • JayDJayD Forumite
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    I think this would be a whole lot easier if you had said to him that you want the space now and then given him the ultimatum that he either takes his stuff away, or else you will get rid of it. That way, you have done nothing behind his back - and it would be entirely up to you just how you did get rid of it.

    However, from what you have said, it doesn't appear that you have done that, which makes it seem, on hte face of it, that you made the decision to sell without your brother's knowledge or consent. You just went ahead, sold the books, and then told him how much you had made from doing it! If I were your brother, I would be peeved too and think he should certainly get some of the profit you have made. Yes, you put in some work too, but that was your choice. Give him some cash!
  • FifiRossiFifiRossi Forumite
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    Keep the money. He gave it away, he wasn’t selling it to you. You can keep or sell it. 
  • I have to wonder about people sometimes.  This is your brother - give him the money instead of risking your relationship with family.  You need to grow up.  
  • edited 28 April 2021 at 5:40PM
    MalMonroeMalMonroe Forumite
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    edited 28 April 2021 at 5:40PM
    I'm in a situation where my sister seperated from her husband and moved in with our dad,and stopped working, although she was below pension age.
    3 years on and he has recently passed away. She is now saying that she will be staying in the house,which was signed over to us 20 years ago. Her previous house was without mortgage. She's saying that this is what dad wants.
    I am faced with throwing her out,or letting her stay until she decides to leave,or goes into care. She is 69.

    This is a real moral dilemma for me.

    Families?!??!
    I'm very sorry for your loss. Your sister? Spring chicken to my mind! (I'm 71).

    When your sister moved in with your dad, who did the housework, shopping, day to day stuff? You? No. I'd hazard a guess at your sister. 

    How on earth are you 'faced with throwing her out'? You are not the sole owner of that property.

    It's not a moral dilemma at all. Your sister lived with your dad, possibly gave up her job as well as her own life to become his carer and also possibly helped him in ways you have absolutely no idea about.

    Your dilemma is simply one of sibling rivalry. Your sister needs somewhere to live, don't be mean. She is also the one who took on the care/help for your dad. Be grateful, you didn't have to do anything.

    People are far more important than things, or rather they should be. If you don't have anywhere else to live then I guess you would be in your rights to move into the property with her. Didn't your dad leave a will? 

    In any case, you can't just turf her out of her home, and nor should you want to. 

    Families?! Yes, joined by blood. You should really want the best for your sister, rather than feeling nothing but jealous.
    Please note that comments are strictly my own opinion, intended to help - never hinder. If they do not help then please ignore as the intention of the forum is to help everyone, if possible. MSE forum rules clearly state "no two people have the same circumstances or experiences and it is up to you to investigate, check and check again before you make any decisions or take any action based on information you glean from our community. Remember, don't rely on what you are reading. Verify it and protect yourself. You are responsible for any action you consequently make." It's always best to verify everything. Inappropriate comments will be reported, as per the Forum rules.
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