Must try harder!

milann

Love the sound of your garden with the burn at the bottom. Bet it is lovely in spring with all the bulbs.
😳😳 I hadn’t realised pet food was so costly 😳😳

WinterWarrior

Good morning and happy Tuesday. I am just popping on to ask what the heck is wrong with me?? I frittered more money last night and need to adjust my March budget again! I am really being irresponsible and silly at the moment and spending is not making me happier. 

I have cleared out my sinking funds and need to begin the long slog back to full pots and that happy secure feeling. I think some of my silly spending comes from resentment which is ridiculous, but I will try to explain. MrWW and I keep finances separate (my choice after being stung so hard before), but MrWW gets frequent overtime (I don’t have the option) and earns a bit more. He doesn’t save and treats himself to high value things he enjoys. I don’t resent that, he works hard and deserves them and should do whatever he wants with his spare money, but I did resent that when my mum gave me some money it all went on house repairs (much needed) and I think if it had been gifted to MrWW he would possibly have spent it on his hobbies. I spent some of my savings because I forgot why I am saving and felt fed up with it all. But I need a shake up. Those sinking funds saved me a lot of stress and I need to get that safety net back, even if it means a few lean months. I really do have everything I need to survive without buying things I don’t need! 

Anyway here is the line I am drawing again ——————————————- 😅
I think I will go back to reporting my no spend days to keep me accountable, but now I really must get up and feed the furry gang before I log on to work.
I hope you all have a good happy day ⭐️

Sun_Addict

Is there a trigger time for when you're likely to make these sort of purchases and could you do something else to keep your mind off spending? There is usually a deep down psychological reason for emotional spending and it looks like you might have identified a possible cause. Change isn't going to happen overnight but you can make a start now that line in the sand has been drawn. 

jwil

Do you get loads of emails from brands or follow them on social media?  Could you unsubscribe/unfollow so you are not tempted so often?

Hopefully you can focus on that feeling of security and use that as your aim to keep you going.  Could you bribe yourself?  If you get to X savings, then the next month you can have a little splurge?  Or even just take it one month at a time so it doesn't seem endless.  

Good luck with it

WinterWarrior

@Sun_Addict I think the trigger time is when I’m awake tbh 😅
You could be right though, I am expert level at burying trauma. I would like to replace spending with exercise, but it’s generally dark before and after work and there’s always a MrWW that needs feeding, so I never manage that.  Bought a skipping rope and have been told in no uncertain terms not to jump on the floors as I might break them!!! Ok I am a stone more than I should be, but I don’t expect to go through the floor like a woolly mammoth the minute I jump! The garden is just too boggy to try out there at the moment 😒 Not that I could ever skip…I have zero coordination!
I was introduced to TikTok recently and do find some odd comfort in watching people have Chinese hair washing and head massages….it is weirdly addictive! I find it impossible to watch tv without also scrolling. 

Elisheba

Maybe try making saving and not spending fun again? It always always works best for me when I treat it like a challenge and a game. When it's a dull chore it's much the same as exercise and healthy eating - it tends not to happen, and it 's just another thing to beat myself up about.
Do you have really clear short, medium and long term goals with your money management, and give yourself nice rewards when you reach certain targets? Would it help if you got Mr WW to contribute to certain pots? Are you allowing yourself some personal spending money - you can't go cold turkey on all spending all at once, and to be honest there is no point. It's not all or nothing. You have enough money to give yourself pocket money, and if you don't you will still spend but in a less controlled way.

Chrystal

I can understand your take on separate finances, but surely MrWW should also have an separate fund of his own to pay his share of household repairs?  Why is that only down to you?  Maybe a 'talk' is needed XX

WinterWarrior

Thanks @Elisheba. I think not having goals is a big problem. Saving isn’t like paying off debt so I struggle to give it the same momentum. I need to save for a new car, but the amount I want is so far above me that I got discouraged and stopped. I also don’t want to clear myself out, so when the time comes I want to have enough for the new car and still have some savings. To buy my lovely car now it would cost double what it did then, the rise is ridiculous. Touch wood my car lasts many more years. I still love it and won’t switch until I can afford another newer, but equally lovely or until it dies (which I hope it never does). 

I sometimes think getting a massive loan, stashing the money and then concentrating on paying it off would serve me better than just saving….i know that’s crazy 😅
The pots are just mine, MrWW pays certain bills and I pay others. He pays more than me as he has the astronomical council tax. My pots are for things like my mot, car repairs, maintenance, car insurance, breakdown for us both and then some random pots I want to start filling for clothes and treats.
i am going to try the weekly pocket money approach in March.

WinterWarrior

Chrystal said:

I can understand your take on separate finances, but surely MrWW should also have an separate fund of his own to pay his share of household repairs?  Why is that only down to you?  Maybe a 'talk' is needed XX

We do generally go halves on things that break like washers, etc. but these were big things like a roof repair and a garage door. Although I was vaguely annoyed at the time that the garage door ‘had’ to be electric and not a cheap one, it does look brilliant and I admire it every time I come into the drive 🤭 We did get quote for garden gates and they were so ridiculously expensive we just took the old rotting ones down. That will definitely be a shared expense if they come up again! 

WinterWarrior

Good morning and happy Wednesday. I thought today was pay day eve, but it is in fact pay day!! It must be a leap year thing as it is always the last working day normally. I had a brief run of excitement, did the shuffle, shoved £500 in the pb’s, paid back what I shouldn’t have spent last month, restarted the sinking funds (all looking very sad, but not empty) and have awarded myself £50 per week spending money (starting on Saturday). This is a zero based budget, so there is nothing left at the end of my tracker. I have budgeted £100 for the 3 Mother’s Day presents I will need to buy, but it should come in under that and MrWW will go halves, so there is some wiggle room there.
I think £50 is ample to cover any bits and bobs I might need and any pet bits I might have missed off the main order. I will attempt to move any leftovers to my sinking funds at the end of each week. 

March will be ‘Moderation March’ I hope, after living though Jolly January and Frittering February 😅
I hope you all have a fabulous day ⭐️