Money Moral Dilemma: Should I tell my friends the true cost of our holiday?

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

Before lockdown, I booked a holiday for myself and two friends. It cost £833 per person, but I wanted to treat them, so I said it was £400 each and decided to pay the rest off myself. Now the pandemic has worsened my financial situation, and it's becoming hard to pay the instalments for the trip, so should I tell them how much we're actually paying?

Unfortunately the MSE team can't always answer money moral dilemma questions as contributions are often emailed in or suggested in person. They are intended to be a point of debate and discussed at face value.

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  • sherambersheramber Forumite
    14.5K Posts
    Eighth Anniversary 10,000 Posts I've been Money Tipped! Name Dropper
    Maybe your friends wouldn't be able to  afford the extra payments.  
  • alice94hallalice94hall Forumite
    2 Posts
    First Anniversary First Post
    No, absolutely not. You decided to make that decision and hide the cost from them. Your situation is now unfortunate but it is not on your friends to make up the shortfall because of your decision. Whilst your intentions were good, it has slightly backfired and I would be a bit annoyed if I was one of the friends, sorry. 
  • IvanOpinionIvanOpinion Forumite
    21.9K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    The OP lied to their friends - it is all on them.  If the OP now tries to tell their friends it is £800+ they may think you are lying now and you are trying to get them to pay the full cost so the OP can have a freebie.  Not much of a friend if you can't be honest with them - no matter what the reason is. 

    However, in this situation the OP may have to bow their head in shame and admit they lied.
    Board sex symbol
  • edited 13 April 2021 at 9:37PM
    Flipflop13Flipflop13 Forumite
    16 Posts
    Ninth Anniversary 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    edited 13 April 2021 at 9:37PM
    You set off saying you paid the difference because it was a good deed and finish by saying ‘how much we’re paying’, so you’ve already decided that they are going to have to pay? 
    I’d be pretty annoyed if it was me, for reasons just like this, booked something that’s beyond everyone’s means because you wanted to be frivolous and they’re going to have to sort it out. If you had the physical cash at the time and paid the full thing off, then great but it reads like you took a risk and want someone else to sort it for you
  • richardwrichardw Forumite
    19.5K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts
    If you took out travel insurance at the time of booking, keep your fingers crossed the government put the destination on the red list and you can’t go and the insurance pays out. Otherwise check this week’s MSE e mail, the bank account switching looks good.
    Posts are not advice and must not be relied upon.
  • achubarianachubarian Forumite
    4 Posts
    Eighth Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    Can you look into cancelling the holiday if it's all become unaffordable for you?
    It may take a bit of explaining but will you really enjoy the holiday if you know how much it is putting you out of pocket?  Is there a risk if you do go that you will feel like they aren't appreciating the gesture you made enough - which now will stretch you possibly too much - but they didn't even know that you were making?  Even the doubt now could make things tricky between you and your friends and they won't have a clue what it's all about.  
     You started it all with the best of intentions but it's backfired a bit.
    Honesty is probably the best policy here but if you can retract the holiday offer and look for something else you can all afford... that might be better than the potential relationship (and money) pitfalls.

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