WEDDING CRISIS! Are we wrong for feeling like this?

hannahvictoria

wannabe_a_saver said:

hannahvictoria said:

If i were you I'd have the wedding you dreamed of and have been planning all this time, even more so now just to rub their faces in it 

That sounds like a good reason to spend thousands of pounds

no, the good reason to spend thousands of pounds is to have their dream wedding, don't twist my words

Flugelhorn

olgadapolga said:

pinkshoes said:

1. Yes, you should have sent your mum a mother's day card. She did bring you into this world after all.

I'm going to disagree with this comment. Mothers should be appreciated every day, not just on one day a year. The whole "Mothers' Day" thing has become commercialised rubbish.

Not forgetting of course, that some mothers are uncaring and abusive and actually don't deserve any appreciation.

It was up to the OP whether or not to send a card and in this instance, he chose not to. That was the OP's decision and he should not be made to feel guilty about it because someone else thinks that he should have sent a card.

I agree - reckon some of the most controlling mothers are the ones who would be the most offended if they didn't get a) visit b) card. I have a photo taken on Mother's Day once of my Mother with some family members (I was working elsewhere & got serious earache over this ) - the look on her face could have soured milk. I never mind whether I get a card or not - get appreciated more often 
Also OP might have struggled as I did to find a card that wasn't soppy and full of "love for dear mother etc etc"

suejb2

I’d want my wedding to be memorable for the right reasons not the wrong ones. It’s unfair to have other guests acting as bouncers in case drunk B.I.L either lives up to his name if in or shows up anyway. 

Rearrange 

Mrsn

Flugelhorn said:

olgadapolga said:

pinkshoes said:

1. Yes, you should have sent your mum a mother's day card. She did bring you into this world after all.

I'm going to disagree with this comment. Mothers should be appreciated every day, not just on one day a year. The whole "Mothers' Day" thing has become commercialised rubbish.

Not forgetting of course, that some mothers are uncaring and abusive and actually don't deserve any appreciation.

It was up to the OP whether or not to send a card and in this instance, he chose not to. That was the OP's decision and he should not be made to feel guilty about it because someone else thinks that he should have sent a card.

I agree - reckon some of the most controlling mothers are the ones who would be the most offended if they didn't get a) visit b) card. I have a photo taken on Mother's Day once of my Mother with some family members (I was working elsewhere & got serious earache over this ) - the look on her face could have soured milk. I never mind whether I get a card or not - get appreciated more often 
Also OP might have struggled as I did to find a card that wasn't soppy and full of "love for dear mother etc etc"

^^^^ This.

My mum’s attitude over mothers day over the years has definitely impacted on the way I feel about Mother’s Day. How much you spend = how much you love them in her eyes.

I feel obligated to send a card and truthfully only do so to avoid an argument ,it’s really hard to find one that doesn’t say the words best, amazing, wonderful and the such like. 

My kids are still young and I’d much rather have them tell me they love me etc anytime they wanted too rather than feel pressured on the “set day”. 

silverwhistle

hannahvictoria said:

no, the good reason to spend thousands of pounds is to have their dream wedding, don't twist my words

But from what we read hear it won't be their dream wedding. Perhaps a nightmare wedding which is a similar phenomenon but not normally wished for..

I'd cancel it, have a simple wedding and perhaps spend some of the money saved on having a succession of meals out through the year (or two) with people you'd have liked to have been there. No wedding premium, just a decent local restaurant and good company and a natter over a good meal.

deedee71

I gave up reading about half way through but seriously do you want to start a new life together with all this childishness?    I think you've outgrown your family and petty squabbles.  Have the wedding you and your fiancee want, keep it to parents and best friends and build a new life together.

Flugelhorn

Mrsn said:

Flugelhorn said:

olgadapolga said:

pinkshoes said:

1. Yes, you should have sent your mum a mother's day card. She did bring you into this world after all.

I'm going to disagree with this comment. Mothers should be appreciated every day, not just on one day a year. The whole "Mothers' Day" thing has become commercialised rubbish.

Not forgetting of course, that some mothers are uncaring and abusive and actually don't deserve any appreciation.

It was up to the OP whether or not to send a card and in this instance, he chose not to. That was the OP's decision and he should not be made to feel guilty about it because someone else thinks that he should have sent a card.

I agree - reckon some of the most controlling mothers are the ones who would be the most offended if they didn't get a) visit b) card. I have a photo taken on Mother's Day once of my Mother with some family members (I was working elsewhere & got serious earache over this ) - the look on her face could have soured milk. I never mind whether I get a card or not - get appreciated more often 
Also OP might have struggled as I did to find a card that wasn't soppy and full of "love for dear mother etc etc"

^^^^ This.

My mum’s attitude over mothers day over the years has definitely impacted on the way I feel about Mother’s Day. How much you spend = how much you love them in her eyes.

I feel obligated to send a card and truthfully only do so to avoid an argument ,it’s really hard to find one that doesn’t say the words best, amazing, wonderful and the such like. 

My kids are still young and I’d much rather have them tell me they love me etc anytime they wanted too rather than feel pressured on the “set day”. 

@Mrsn we need to set up a company to produce such cards ....

Emmia

Mrsn said:

Flugelhorn said:

olgadapolga said:

pinkshoes said:

1. Yes, you should have sent your mum a mother's day card. She did bring you into this world after all.

I'm going to disagree with this comment. Mothers should be appreciated every day, not just on one day a year. The whole "Mothers' Day" thing has become commercialised rubbish.

Not forgetting of course, that some mothers are uncaring and abusive and actually don't deserve any appreciation.

It was up to the OP whether or not to send a card and in this instance, he chose not to. That was the OP's decision and he should not be made to feel guilty about it because someone else thinks that he should have sent a card.

I agree - reckon some of the most controlling mothers are the ones who would be the most offended if they didn't get a) visit b) card. I have a photo taken on Mother's Day once of my Mother with some family members (I was working elsewhere & got serious earache over this ) - the look on her face could have soured milk. I never mind whether I get a card or not - get appreciated more often 
Also OP might have struggled as I did to find a card that wasn't soppy and full of "love for dear mother etc etc"

^^^^ This.

My mum’s attitude over mothers day over the years has definitely impacted on the way I feel about Mother’s Day. How much you spend = how much you love them in her eyes.

I feel obligated to send a card and truthfully only do so to avoid an argument ,it’s really hard to find one that doesn’t say the words best, amazing, wonderful and the such like. 

My kids are still young and I’d much rather have them tell me they love me etc anytime they wanted too rather than feel pressured on the “set day”. 

You can just use an online place like Etsy, moonpig etc., that will do you a custom card - or just buy a completely blank card and write your own message inside.

Slinky

Emmia said:

Mrsn said:

Flugelhorn said:

olgadapolga said:

pinkshoes said:

1. Yes, you should have sent your mum a mother's day card. She did bring you into this world after all.

I'm going to disagree with this comment. Mothers should be appreciated every day, not just on one day a year. The whole "Mothers' Day" thing has become commercialised rubbish.

Not forgetting of course, that some mothers are uncaring and abusive and actually don't deserve any appreciation.

It was up to the OP whether or not to send a card and in this instance, he chose not to. That was the OP's decision and he should not be made to feel guilty about it because someone else thinks that he should have sent a card.

I agree - reckon some of the most controlling mothers are the ones who would be the most offended if they didn't get a) visit b) card. I have a photo taken on Mother's Day once of my Mother with some family members (I was working elsewhere & got serious earache over this ) - the look on her face could have soured milk. I never mind whether I get a card or not - get appreciated more often 
Also OP might have struggled as I did to find a card that wasn't soppy and full of "love for dear mother etc etc"

^^^^ This.

My mum’s attitude over mothers day over the years has definitely impacted on the way I feel about Mother’s Day. How much you spend = how much you love them in her eyes.

I feel obligated to send a card and truthfully only do so to avoid an argument ,it’s really hard to find one that doesn’t say the words best, amazing, wonderful and the such like. 

My kids are still young and I’d much rather have them tell me they love me etc anytime they wanted too rather than feel pressured on the “set day”. 

You can just use an online place like Etsy, moonpig etc., that will do you a custom card - or just buy a completely blank card and write your own message inside.

I get the impression the poster wants to send a card that their mother doesn't notice is not completely gushy.

Emmia

Slinky said:

Emmia said:

Mrsn said:

Flugelhorn said:

olgadapolga said:

pinkshoes said:

1. Yes, you should have sent your mum a mother's day card. She did bring you into this world after all.

I'm going to disagree with this comment. Mothers should be appreciated every day, not just on one day a year. The whole "Mothers' Day" thing has become commercialised rubbish.

Not forgetting of course, that some mothers are uncaring and abusive and actually don't deserve any appreciation.

It was up to the OP whether or not to send a card and in this instance, he chose not to. That was the OP's decision and he should not be made to feel guilty about it because someone else thinks that he should have sent a card.

I agree - reckon some of the most controlling mothers are the ones who would be the most offended if they didn't get a) visit b) card. I have a photo taken on Mother's Day once of my Mother with some family members (I was working elsewhere & got serious earache over this ) - the look on her face could have soured milk. I never mind whether I get a card or not - get appreciated more often 
Also OP might have struggled as I did to find a card that wasn't soppy and full of "love for dear mother etc etc"

^^^^ This.

My mum’s attitude over mothers day over the years has definitely impacted on the way I feel about Mother’s Day. How much you spend = how much you love them in her eyes.

I feel obligated to send a card and truthfully only do so to avoid an argument ,it’s really hard to find one that doesn’t say the words best, amazing, wonderful and the such like. 

My kids are still young and I’d much rather have them tell me they love me etc anytime they wanted too rather than feel pressured on the “set day”. 

You can just use an online place like Etsy, moonpig etc., that will do you a custom card - or just buy a completely blank card and write your own message inside.

I get the impression the poster wants to send a card that their mother doesn't notice is not completely gushy.

I'm not sure what your point is? A custom card can say whatever you want, gushy or not.