Is Is Possible For Me To Be Debt Free By 30? (27/09/2009)

saver03

moanymoany wrote: »

If you read the threads on the DFW part of the forum you will see people who are trying to get debt free and you can read what they are doing to achieve that. Mostly they stop spending .... I read on one when someone said that their lightbulb moment made them realise that saving 40p really counts. Buying coffee out is too expensive, someone else has budgeted an unlimited cinema ticket to provide them with all of their entertainment. They spend nothing else.

I may not have cut back as much as other people on this site but I do like to live my life and not feel to restricted in what I allow myself to do. Believe me I have cut down my spending considerably and if I want something now I budget and save for it then search around for the best deal and see if I can get cashback. I am being very strict with my spending this month and I have budgeted everything down even my trip to the dentist, which is something I would not have done before. I know that there are more things that I could be doing but I am starting with small steps.

moanymoany wrote: »

Tbh, your posts don't read like you are really serious. There was an Oprah Winfrey programme where several in debt 20somethings were helped to budget and learn about money saving. At the end of 2 years all but one were either completely or nearly out of debt. And the one - well his parents had paid his debts for him - with the idea that he would pay them back. He had since then racked up just about the same amount of debt again.

I wasn't sure that your posts weren't a little bit of a wind up, that was my allusion to April Fool's Day. Sorry if I was wrong

I am serious about paying my debt off and I have a standing order of £450 to my mum's account each month to ensure that I do pay it. And so far I have paid £6547.17 so I feel that I am doing pretty well.

My posts are definately not a wind up and I am doing the best that I can and all I wanted from this site was support not be made to feel like a failure

shoeaddict

Well you certainly shouldn't feel like a failure! You wouldn't have paid off so much of your debt already if you were a failure, would you? No. Exactly

And it's clear that your attitude towards money saving is becoming more positive, as you are putting the Kylie tickets back on Ebay which is great news.

It is true, however, that you haven't cut back as much as some of the other DFWs on here, many of whom - including me - have circumstances that would make spending money on concert tickets and the like absolutely impossible. That kind of spending is just no longer an option. But only you know what works best for you.

In my case, the desire to be debt free is much more of a motivation now than having the latest phone or shoes - which, looking back, are the things that used to define my life. By the time I'm 31/32 I know I will by debt free, with savings and the ability to go on holiday etc when I want. :T It's the long term plan that keeps me going, that keeps me walking past the shoe shop at lunchtime... I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the odd spending spree, but I allow myself small treats that feel fantastic cos I know I have budgeted for them.

You're doing really well paying a set amount back to your mum per month. But if you think about it, paying an extra couple of hundred quid each month will bring your debt free date forward by a looooong way! And, when you've got all that spare money every month, then you can live the life of a fabulous 30-something with pride.

So, to sum up yet another long post - I think you've really struck a chord with me or something! - keep throwing your extra cash at that debt, keep posing on here and don't you dare feel like a failure.

moanymoany

saver03 wrote: »

I may not have cut back as much as other people on this site but I do like to live my life and not feel to restricted in what I allow myself to do. Believe me I have cut down my spending considerably and if I want something now I budget and save for it then search around for the best deal and see if I can get cashback. I am being very strict with my spending this month and I have budgeted everything down even my trip to the dentist, which is something I would not have done before. I know that there are more things that I could be doing but I am starting with small steps.



I am serious about paying my debt off and I have a standing order of £450 to my mum's account each month to ensure that I do pay it. And so far I have paid £6547.17 so I feel that I am doing pretty well.

My posts are definately not a wind up and I am doing the best that I can and all I wanted from this site was support not be made to feel like a failure

Shoeaddict has put it more sensitively than I did.

The problem with debt is that it is so easy to get into. I may be getting on, but I love buying clothes, things for my home, going on holiday .... However, I have to exercise self discipline and control my spending because retirement looms and who wants a poverty and debt ridden old age?

The self discipline needed to get out of and keep out of debt is hard to learn. That is why the Oprah Winfrey thing was so interesting. The people who had to do it the hard way gained most and will go on to have successful financial lives.

Your mum has lost out a lot by lending you this HUGE amount of money interest free and I DO think you are doing really well to pay it back. I once lent a family member some money, not this much, but it was more than I could afford to lose - and I've not seen a penny of it back. Your mum will have saved you a lot of money in interest. What your posts said to me was that you were still in your old state of mind about spending, rather than in a new state of mind about paying back the maximum you can afford. Thinking about two holidays is one example.

However, you are right and I don't think that you are a failure. What I thought was that your mother has made a huge sacrifice and that you didn't seem to be doing your hardest to pay her back. Debt is like weight - easy to put on, but hard work and sacrifice is needed to get it off.

And remember, support is not always agreement, sometimes it is tough love. When someone doesn't tell you what you want to hear, doesn't tell you how well you're doing, they may be doing that to show that perhaps you could be doing more.

ceridwen

Hi Moanie

I can just hear you sitting there saying the famous Yorkshire saying "How Much?!" I aint Yorkshire - but I'm not the worlds best (okay......(expletive deleted) terrible) at putting things tactfully.

Just a seconding of what others have said to O.P. though - do think twice/thrice/etc about spending on gigs/holidays/expensive glasses. 30 isnt very far away - you dont have to grit your teeth and do without for long....but the debt will clear one heck of a sight quicker if you do without these things for the time being. Just think in terms of a treat is a little (I mean "little") something per every £1k cleared (like a decent bottle of wine), another £1k cleared (another decent bottle of wine) and so on.

ms_london

saver03 wrote: »

That is my own fault as I wanted the Prada phone and this was the best tariff I could get it on for free.

saver03 wrote: »

I have just bought some Kylie tickets off ebay for £130 including postage. Is this kind of thing far to self indulgent and should I be eliminating this kind of spending?

saver03 wrote: »

I went to the Trafford Centre last week just to get my eyes tested and I ended up spending A LOT more than I intended.

.... I should probably gone with a basic pair as appossed to the Prada ones that "I loved." So, on my eye test and my new designer glasses I parted with £225 :mad:

If only I stopped there!! I decided we should go and price up holidays. .......So, we booked it and paid a £90 deposit! Now we have 2 months so come up with the rest which is £1070:eek: .

Am I just the worst MSE ever or a total spendaholic?! Where should I draw the line with spending obscene amounts on things or events just because I really want to?

saver03 wrote: »

I was bad yesterday :mad: I bought Spice Girls tickets off ebay and spent £249.44. I borrowed the money off my mum and she also lent me the money for my glasses and we have added it on to what I owe her. The worst part is that I have now not paid anything off my debts this year now :mad:

saver03 wrote: »

Did my shopping last night and managed to spend nearly my monthly budget. :mad: .

saver03 wrote: »

We are also thinking about going to Center Parcs in September but we don't really know much about .

saver03 wrote: »

I have got a very strict budget this month and I am doing my very best to stick to it...... Also my mum and nan have given me some money, despite my protests, and I will have an extra £1300 in my bank account. They are angels :A. So I have paid for my holiday and paid the tv licence for next 12 months.
Any advice is always greatly received as I definately want to be debt fee by 30 and just 19 payments so go :eek:

saver03 wrote: »

I am hoping to be debt free by the time I am 30 but I also would like to go to Florida for 2 weeks for my 30th birthday.

I have just sat here and gone through this post, and the above things jump out at me.

Your signature says you are proud to be dealing with your debts. Well at the moment, you arent, and your poor mum is dealing with them. You are almost 30, do you not think you should be taking responsibility for yourself and not burdening your poor mum with your debts? How old is your mum, late 50's, 60's? Close to retirement or retired? She obviously loves you dearly but you obviously dont care the same for her, otherwise you would be doing your damn hardest to repay your mum, not spend it on all of the above.

Some people dont get one holiday a year let alone two - in one breath you say you are on a strict budget and seem motivated to be debt free, and then in the next you say you have spent $xyz, and not just small amounts, HUGE amounts each time. I think that you will be out of debt by your 30th, but your mum wont be, and will probably owe more on your behalf than she already does.

I am sorry you are ill and that prevents you from working etc etc. Obviously I dont know what is wrong but is your illness at all linked with your spending habits? Such as you have depression and go out and spend to make yourself feel better? This is just a stab in the dark. If they are not related then you really have no excuse.

I think that you spend more than the average person that isnt even in debt, and you are spending WAAAAYYYYY above your means, some of the banks, some of your boyfriends, most of your mothers $$$$. Even when you mention your food budget you say you have spent all of the months money in one go, so it sounds as though you really do have issues here.

I know I will probably be criticised for posting this, but I really had to speak out. You should be acting your age & trying to sort your own mess out and looking after your mum rather than the other way around.

Maybe you havent had your lightbulb moment yet and have seen this as a way out 'yaaay, the debt is out of sight and out of mind therefore I no longer owe it, lets spend more'.

Just my thoughts

saver03

All the quotes used look really bad and I now see what it must look like to other people, but believe me I have cut my spending down by A LOT, even though it must not look that way!

My mum is 45 so she has a good few years to go before retirement, still that is no excuse on my behalf to use all her nest egg. She hasn't taken out any loans to lend me the money and she is not in debt herself. She does still have money in her savings accounts but is obviously not earning as much interest due to the money I borrowed.

I do actually have a physical illness and as a result I do have depression for which I take prozac. I agree with the statement about going out shopping to make myself feel better but now I feel guilty if I make big impulse purchases. Also, I do work 30 hours a week and I will pick up overtime if I can.

I am paying my mum £450 each month directly into her savings account so it's not like I am not paying her at all. I will try to give her more if/when I have it but as I have been self indulgent with our holidays it's just not at the moment. Plus my OH does like to spend too and is not that eager about money saving.

ms_london wrote: »

How old is your mum, late 50's, 60's? Close to retirement or retired? She obviously loves you dearly but you obviously dont care the same for her, otherwise you would be doing your damn hardest to repay your mum, not spend it on all of the above.

I love my mum very much and really do appreciate everything that she does for me.

moanymoany

saver03 wrote: »

I may not have cut back as much as other people on this site but I do like to live my life and not feel to restricted in what I allow myself to do.

You asked for help from the forums and it is being given to you. This quote shows so clearly that you really haven't had your lightbulb moment.


I've read your last post and I see what you say - You may have cut back a lot, but you are cutting back from a position that was false as you were overspending which is why you have more than sixteen thousand pounds debt. As far as spending goes you have to cut back twice, once to where your real income is and the second time cutting into your income to free up money to pay debts.

Also, you arranged your holidays after the loan according to your posts and your mother and grandmother had to lend you more to pay for them and your new prada glasses.

I know that what you are being told on here is not what you want to hear - but it is what you need to know and understand if you are going to make the transition into a debt free, financially responsible adult.

The people telling you these things have been where you are and are either fighting their way out of it by cutting back to the bone or have gone through the process and come out through the other end. That is the reason this advice is worth having.

It is the reason that those who come to DFW and follow the advice and bite the bullet and just get of with it are successful. Go through the threads and look at what people are doing, look at how the amount they owe has gone down. The only way they can do this is to stop spending on anything that is not a necessity and this is what they do. They too had to go through the two step process to stop spending and I'm sure we have all found it very hard to do without the nice things we would like to have.

saver03

Was hoping for a NSD and to do quite a lot on slice the pie on ebay but it all went wrong. To start at the beginning we used to have rabbits and they chewed through the power cable to the laptop but to save money we just put brown tape over it and it still worked. However, today there was no power to the pc and smoke coming from under the tape so we decided to bite the bullet and get a new power cable. We did pick the cheaper on instead of a Sony one but it still cost £69.99 :mad: I figured it was an essential buy as I can't ebay without the laptop and also we are paying for the broadband!

I have done a little ebaying this evening and as I am on a week off work I will be very busy and getting my money's worth out of the cable!

saver03

I think I should become a dentist. Had my 6 month check-up today and wasn't even in there 10 minutes and it cost £15.90:eek: I had budgeted for it though as I had asked in advance what it would cost. :A

I have also been catching up on my slice the pie today but there is only so much you can listen to before you go crazy! But I really want to clear the £10 soon so it looks like I will be busy on it tomorrow!

I am also doing my ebaying and it will be starting on Thursday at 7pm for 10 days giving it an optimum finish time. Also, my Kylie tickets are just over £80 at the moment

saver03

Well my 1 week off work is nearly over and I am back on Tuesday Apparently all is not well at work and I am not looking forward to going back at all. I will just have to get on with it and not let bad atmosphere bother me too much.

I have about 30 items on ebay finishing tomorrow evening and I am hoping to make over £100, fingers crossed. So that will be a huge chunk to throw at debts. I am also still adding stuff to ebay and will hopefully stay focused enough to make a few £100 pounds per month.

Unfortunately my Amazon books don't seem to be selling anymore so I may have to review the prices.

I have not really done as much with Slice the pie as I wanted to so I need to get focused as I hope to have £100 at the end of the year either to pay off debts or have a free Christmas.

I WILL BE A BETTER A MSEr :A