Would you feel offended by this?

sassyblue

swingaloo2 said:

wannabe_a_saver said:

Is there any chance she is trying to let you know that its ok to get a refund in case your financial cirumstances have changed due to the pandemic?

Its funny you should say that but not really likely as the reason she rang me in the first place today is because it is his birthday in 3 weeks time and she wondered if we 'Would like to go halves with her on a jacket he wants'.  That would be a cool £60 then!  
We would only usually spend about a tenner so I politely declined and said we had already bought something for him.

Wow, she’s an odd one! She probably said what she did out of spite as you declined to go halves on the jacket then.  Who even goes halves with friends on presents for partners? I think I’d just check with the friend about the tickets now.

kimwp

She might be worried about the future and not sure about planning that far ahead, lots of people are at the moment.

sheramber

You cannot dictate other people's taste.
He said he would have liked to see them. That does not mean she would feel the same. So maybe she did not appreciate the gift  and does really feel it was not worth the money 
Since the gift was really for him I would check with him if he wants to keep the tickets or not.

wannabe_a_saver

swingaloo2 said:

wannabe_a_saver said:

Is there any chance she is trying to let you know that its ok to get a refund in case your financial cirumstances have changed due to the pandemic?

Its funny you should say that but not really likely as the reason she rang me in the first place today is because it is his birthday in 3 weeks time and she wondered if we 'Would like to go halves with her on a jacket he wants'.  That would be a cool £60 then!  
We would only usually spend about a tenner so I politely declined and said we had already bought something for him.

That is very odd behaviour. 

Oh my word do you think she thinks you'll give her the cash if you get a refund!

CookieMonster

No, I wouldn't feel offended.
The knee-jerk reaction is to drop to her level and be petty.
She's probably very stressed, and maybe having 'relationship issues' thanks to the continued lockdown.
She's possibly an absolute cow who resents you buying the gentleman a cool present as a Thank You (showing her gifts as less thoughtful). 
He's obviously looking forward to it, even if he's going with her.
Double-down and plan an even cooler gift for next time.

Retireinten

She's either being intentionally insensitive or has no emotional intelligence at all. Either way, speak to your male friend about the tickets as I expect you will get a very different reaction from him. 


If you do decide to get a refund, what would you do with the money? As it sounds like a thank you for a big favour from him, maybe convert the money  from the refund into something specifically for your male friend and not his partner. 

I suspect that he will want to keep hold of the tickets! 

Pollycat

swingaloo2 said:

At the end of 2019 I bought some tickets for a concert to be held in summer of 2020. We have a couple of friends and as the male one of the couple had done us a favour and we wanted to show our thanks, knowing that they both liked the artist, we decided to get them a pair of tickets to go with us and gave them as a Christmas present. 
The tickets were quite expensive at £120  per person but we were happy to give them and were all looking forward to the concert. 
Then of course it got postponed to summer 2021. Now we have had an email to say its postponed again to summer 2022 which we fully understand.
Today I spoke to the female of the couple and mentioned that the concert was rescheduled again and got this - 'Oh well, just get your money back, they are probably not worth it anyway'.  I feel really slighted, I felt like saying 'Well if you dont want to go we can find someone else' but I bit my tongue.
Would you be irritated by that comment or is it just me?

A lot has happened since you bought the tickets.

Maybe she can't see that far to 2022 right now and that's why she said what she said.

Maybe you just misjudged her 'over the moon' reaction when you gave them the tickets. You did say he would love to see them.

However, I think your reaction was entirely normal and I would have felt the same.

swingaloo2 said:

Its funny you should say that but not really likely as the reason she rang me in the first place today is because it is his birthday in 3 weeks time and she wondered if we 'Would like to go halves with her on a jacket he wants'.  That would be a cool £60 then!  
We would only usually spend about a tenner so I politely declined and said we had already bought something for him.

This ^^^^ - to me - sounds bonkers.

Is it something that you would normally do as a pair of friends?

I can't imagine any of my close friends suggesting that we go halves with them on a birthday present for their OH.

I've just ordered a Luther lookee-likee coat for OH for his birthday.

Maybe I'll ask my best friend if she wants to go halves with me.

burlingtonfl6

She sounds rude but being offended by it....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceS_jkKjIgo
48 seconds

MEM62

swingaloo2 said:

Today I spoke to the female of the couple and mentioned that the concert was rescheduled again and got this - 'Oh well, just get your money back, they are probably not worth it anyway'.  

Perhaps you have over-estimated how enthusiastic they are about the artist.   

oystercatcher

Maybe the friends have money worries, if she can't find £60 to go towards a jacket then maybe spending £240 on a concert seems like a huge waste of money even if they would enjoy it. Or is she just depressed and finding it difficult to be positive about anything at the moment. She wouldn't be alone. It's difficult to imagine going back to normal and going to concerts again.