Family Woes!

thorsoak

Charlies_Aunt said:

Thanks for your answers. Apparently they take in turns each day. My daughter is expected to do it alone. I guess if that’s what counts for them then their house must stink. 

For the record, neither of them like going there as they don’t like his partner, she looks after them for him and they barely see their father as he is working. 

I guess I will have to let it go, it’s amazing what some people find acceptable. 

It could be that the "Christmas present puppy" is an attempt by your ex-partner and his new partner to unite the two sets of children.   The fact that they take it in turns to clean up would indicate that this is the case and he house won't stink if the clearing up after the puppy is done correctly - and this is what I hope is happening at your ex-partner's house.   It has been proved that children who live with animals (and their germs) develop a better immune system more quickly than those who live in a house with no pets.   I find it more amazing that some people do not find this acceptable.
It's not surprising that your children tell you that they don't like going to their father's house - they know that you have very negative feelings towards the couple and of course they want to make you feel happier.    Far better that you are the one to make your children feel more secure by hiding your feelings of animosity.    There are parents out there who have survived a relationship breakup but who make the fact that children have two homes a positive state so that the children can relax instead of feeling that they have to keep mum happy all the time by "hating" the other family.    Wicked stepmothers are found - mostly - in fairy stories.

Beans27

Well, to go against the grain, I have a dog and a (nearly) 5 year old and i wouldn't expect him to clean up poo - far too young in my opinion. Yes, teach them that a pet is part of the family by all means - but there are much better activities to get them involved in, feeding, grooming, walking. Surprised by the number of people that wouldn't mind a small child picking up crap. And I am by no means super hygienic!

thepurplepixie

I think a 5 year old needs to be supervised, I'd want to feel confident their hands are properly washed afterwards.  I wouldn't be happy is she is left to do it without supervision.

Beans27

thorsoak said:

Charlies_Aunt said:

Thanks for your answers. Apparently they take in turns each day. My daughter is expected to do it alone. I guess if that’s what counts for them then their house must stink. 

For the record, neither of them like going there as they don’t like his partner, she looks after them for him and they barely see their father as he is working. 

I guess I will have to let it go, it’s amazing what some people find acceptable. 

It could be that the "Christmas present puppy" is an attempt by your ex-partner and his new partner to unite the two sets of children.   The fact that they take it in turns to clean up would indicate that this is the case and he house won't stink if the clearing up after the puppy is done correctly - and this is what I hope is happening at your ex-partner's house.   It has been proved that children who live with animals (and their germs) develop a better immune system more quickly than those who live in a house with no pets.   I find it more amazing that some people do not find this acceptable.

But would you really trust a 5 year old to clean up after a puppy correctly? I don't trust mine to wipe his own bum, let alone clear up waste from a dog! Completely agree that children who have pets have a better immune system (that's what I tell my mum when the dog licks him anyway) - but picking up poo is completely different. 

Sea_Shell

Is there a chance that the kids are over egging their woes of having to do these chores, hoping you'll step in and make it go away?

Charlies_Aunt

Absolutely not!

thorsoak

Beans27 said:

thorsoak said:

Charlies_Aunt said:

Thanks for your answers. Apparently they take in turns each day. My daughter is expected to do it alone. I guess if that’s what counts for them then their house must stink. 

For the record, neither of them like going there as they don’t like his partner, she looks after them for him and they barely see their father as he is working. 

I guess I will have to let it go, it’s amazing what some people find acceptable. 

It could be that the "Christmas present puppy" is an attempt by your ex-partner and his new partner to unite the two sets of children.   The' fact that they take it in turns to clean up would indicate that this is the case and he house won't stink if the clearing up after the puppy is done correctly - and this is what I hope is happening at your ex-partner's house.   It has been proved that children who live with animals (and their germs) develop a better immune system more quickly than those who live in a house with no pets.   I find it more amazing that some people do not find this acceptable.

But would you really trust a 5 year old to clean up after a puppy correctly? I don't trust mine to wipe his own bum, let alone clear up waste from a dog! Completely agree that children who have pets have a better immune system (that's what I tell my mum when the dog licks him anyway) - but picking up poo is completely different. 

Oh no, I wouldn't - I would be ensuring that s/he picked the poop up, either into a bag or (my preferred home tool - a snap click tool (bit like a litter picker but with scoops rather than just pincers) disposed off properly, the floor sprayed with anti-bac spray, everything disposed of into the proper bin - and then hands washed, washed, washed and then washed.   To be honest, its far quicker to do it myself - but it is important that children learn how to do it properly and hygenically.  By the time they are 10, they are really efficient at doing it - and we were able to trust the 10 & 12 year olds to keep the kennels (for 3 dogs) beautifully clean and sparkly hygenic.   In fact they asked to do it so that they could finish off with the power washer - but I wouldn't allow them to use the power washer in the house :-D .     
I've always found that giving them responsibility is something that children appreciate.

Beans27

thorsoak said:

Oh no, I wouldn't - I would be ensuring that s/he picked the poop up, either into a bag or (my preferred home tool - a snap click tool (bit like a litter picker but with scoops rather than just pincers) disposed off properly, the floor sprayed with anti-bac spray, everything disposed of into the proper bin - and then hands washed, washed, washed and then washed.   To be honest, its far quicker to do it myself - but it is important that children learn how to do it properly and hygenically.  By the time they are 10, they are really efficient at doing it - and we were able to trust the 10 & 12 year olds to keep the kennels (for 3 dogs) beautifully clean and sparkly hygenic.   In fact they asked to do it so that they could finish off with the power washer - but I wouldn't allow them to use the power washer in the house :-D .   I've always found that giving them responsibility is something that children appreciate.

Fair enough - I am probably coming at it from the point of view that my 4 year old's hands would be too small to pick up the giant Labrador poos that our dog does we had a dog as a child and one of our jobs was poo patrol, but that was at 11 onwards. 

Charlies_Aunt

I think it depends on who the dog belongs to. My children have pets at home with me and never asked for a dog I never particularly wanted one but it was purchased for them and her two children as well. Under normal circumstances they don’t really do anything with the dog it’s too young to take for a walk and it doesn’t even play it’s quite snappy in fact my daughter It’s rather wary of it. I can appreciate that my eldest child can be expected to do things like this as it is an educational Choice but I do not consider a five-year-old competent enough to deal with such an issue. As I have said previously thank you for your replies clearly there are not as many people that are of the same opinion as me so it’s probably best that I don’t think I mention it with him as I realise I would be wasting my time anyway as I have on here. Many thanks

mason's_mum

Charlies_Aunt said:

 As I have said previously thank you for your replies clearly there are not as many people that are of the same opinion as me so it’s probably best that I don’t think I mention it with him as I realise I would be wasting my time anyway as I have on here. Many thanks

I don't think you've wasted your time - actually I think it's more valuable when people don't agree with you and share a different opinion or circumstances as it makes you consider and dig deeper into why you hold that opinion and question yourself which, I feel, is important.