Declutter Mind and Declutter home

candygirl

I love this ❤❤❤

wort

Bless you all.
I have no clutter in the house anymore, and much as BarbCh says mental clutter means we have physical clutter, I feel the opposite is also true, the clutter in our houses brings mental stress , I found a huge relief of stress when I got rid of excess in the house. Having nothing in the loft is very freeing!!😉😂
Being mindful is very helpful, keeping only things that are useful or beautiful is the mantra I use, after doing the Marie Kondo clean. We are worth the best we can get, don't save things for best as we don't know how long we have to use them.  I lost  my husband quite suddenly and it makes you realise what is important in life and it's not physical possessions,  but our family and friends and experiences. 
We need to be kind to ourselves, and stop our expectations of what we think our lives should be taking over from actually living our lives. Taking time everyday for ourselves, wether it's to sit and meditate, or read or listen to music is needed to calm our body and mind, just doing relaxing breathing as used in yoga, is a great way to distress. 
I hope everyone can find a way to decluttering their mind and improve their life , these threads are such a good support. 
Sorry if you think I'm being preachy! I'm not the best with words ! 
Thank you x

TC77

Candygirl - wonderful to hear about your trip and keeping in touch with people you met. Health most important and hope you get seen soon when they can do more face to face appt. My consultant rang me yesterday and said I'm a priority when they can see people .. but very thankful for being able to work at home.
Mrs SD's decluttering mission thread has helped me over the past 18 months getting rid of items gradually, and also such a supportive thread when moving to physical declutter. 
BarbCH  I hope your son's partner and family recover quickly. Definitely puts things in perspective - the pressure front line NHS staff are facing is incredible and for so long now, - sending speedy recovery best wishes. 

-taff

@TC77 well, you might have mistakes and life stuff happened but to be honest, all his stuff happened in the past so all you can do is own up to the mistakes and then leave them alone. Re-visiting and re-visiting just keeps you feeling down. Start your future now, otherwise you'll end up telling yourselfall sorts of things that aren't true and you'll believe them.

Everyone makes mistakes. Not everyone can let them go though...

candygirl

BARB I hope your Son's family all make swift recoveries 😘

candygirl

Omg that's awful hun.I seriously don't know how NHS cope , bless them all ❤❤

balabooberlies

Barb

love to you all

bala

x

helensbiggestfan

What a fantastic thread.   I will share my story with you but first I just want to send my very best wishes to Barbs family, hope they all get through this ok.  My DIL is also a nurse, thankfully not on the front line at the moment but still under extreme stress due to taking up the slack, to cover for colleagues who have been drafted into covid wards, or who are off sick.  I'm concerned for her health and well being.  Last time I saw her she looked absolutely  drained, and exhausted.  She looked at least 10 years older than she really is.  Hopefully the pressure will ease soon, new infection rates, hospitalisations and deaths are starting to come down, so thankfully we might be over the worst.     

helensbiggestfan

Ok here's my story.I will keep it brief and not dwell on the bad stuff because I consider that is now finally in the past and I'm ready to put it all behind me. 

I'm a widow, almost  7 years now but my journey through pain, grief and loss began in 2006 when my husband first became ill and I realised with a sickening certainty that his illness was terminal.  He eventually died in 2014.  His illness pushed us to the brink of bankruptcy, fortunately I managed to sell the family home just In time.  

Just 7 months later my mother died, then 18 months after that my father also died.  I had to deal with three estates, oversee the sale of two family homes, arrange for loved ones to go into nursing homes.  Then to cap it all my sister turned on me and we became estranged.  We have mended fences but I am afraid I can never feel the same about her. I will never be able to trust her again., and we will never be close again.  

I gradually picked up the pieces, moved house 3 times and gradually rebuilt my finances.  I bought my current home in 2018 and have been steadily renovating it and turning it into a comfortable home.  I have been on a couple of solo holidays and agree with others who have said it's one of the best gifts you can give yourself, travelling solo helps rebuild your confidence.  

I know this might sound odd but I have used the time of my enforced isolation caused by covid to good effect. As we locked down for the first time last year I found I was finally able to step off the treadmill and take time out for myself, to work on my mindset and think about me for a change, my needs, wants and dreams. I have had time to up my personal care, and take care of my health to undo the damage caused by all the stress of the last few years. I have had time to read books on personal development, listen to ted talks and motivational speakers.  I have been able to work through the final stages of grieving and am now ready to move forward,  

I feel that I have been given a unique chance to "reset" and really think about what I want from my future.  I don't think I would have had the opportunity to do that if it had been life as normal.  At times it has felt like being on a retreat or some sort of sabbatical.  It hasn't been an easy year but it has ended up being liberating. I feel like a huge weight has finally been lifted off my shoulders.  

As we gradually come out of the pandemic and life opens up again I can now  leave "the widow" years behind me and feel ready to embark on my new life as a solo.  I even have plans to set up a small business, something I couldn't have even contemplated till now. 

My advice to anyone struggling is to be kind to yourself, give yourself time to heal, take time to invest in your own personal development. 

H.O.P.E.   

Have 
Only 
Positive 
Expectations 

Frogletina

Thank you for your story helensbiggestfan

It really struck a chord with me. You have had such a lot to deal with. From experience I know how hard it is to deal with bereavements, estates and selling houses. 

I was sad to hear of your estrangement with your sister. I had a problem with a family member after my ex-husband died. We are talking again now but it's never going to be the same.

I was the executor of my ex's will, and decided to deal with probate myself. The beneficiaries were our three children. 

Three months later, before probate was granted, and any assets distributed, my beloved son died from a heart attack. He was just 48.

His death devastated me. I felt so lost.

Somehow I managed to arrange a second funeral and write and then read a eulogy for him. After that I had to deal with a second application for probate, plus sorting his house and preparing that for sale too.

Then Covid arrived. It was difficult to finish emptying the houses and sell them but eventually both sold. I prepared 2 sets of estate accounts and finally it's all done.

I too have been glad of the lockdown. I haven't had to go out and I've used the time to begin to heal. It's a work in progress.