Friend owes me thousands

Sea_Shell

sim2335 said:

Yes he’s left now he’s on stress leave but won’t come back.
no I was working today 

So that's why I can't get through to my banks call centre!!  😉

I thought the phones would be ringing off the hook all day, with calls waiting.

Naomim

As much as I feel sorry for you being naive and gullible into giving this person money it seems you have a very childlike view on him spreading rumours. If you're not willing to block him, put your phone on silent,  mute him on social media and ignore. 

sim2335

Naomim said:

As much as I feel sorry for you being naive and gullible into giving this person money it seems you have a very childlike view on him spreading rumours. If you're not willing to block him, put your phone on silent,  mute him on social media and ignore. 

I will block him in March but if o totally ignore him now he will say I will do same in march

MalMonroe

You do seem to have a lot on your mind and also a lot on your plate, without much support from anyone else in your life.  I'm sorry about that.

Firstly, you can and should report this person to the police for harassment. You do have proof of continual harassment on your phone. Unless you've deleted everything. Police do take harassment very seriously. And if you report him and he threatens to 'get you back' (also known as retaliation) you can tell the police and they will caution him about that too. 

I think you would really benefit from contacting Citizens Advice about all of your problems. Here is a link for them which gives info about harassment. https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/law-and-courts/discrimination/taking-action-about-discrimination/taking-action-about-harassment/

You can also chat to them about everything else that's of concern to you. For example, you could also tell them that you would like to get your money back and ask them what is the best thing to do. You said that you had a record of him asking for money on WhatsApp, is that still there? If so, that's proof. 

I agree with others who have said that it's no good waiting for March. It's obvious to us all that this person is not going to do anything in your favour in March. If he does get a payout, what do you think he's going to do with it? You won't see any of it. He is a liar and a cheat. You need to do something now to start the ball rolling so that you can at least try (with the official help of somewhere like Citizens Advice) to get some of your money back.

Also, I wouldn't try to drag his wife into this. It's between you and him but he needs to be shown that you are no longer a pushover, which is where reporting him to police for continued harassment comes in.

I wish you good luck and hope that everything turns out well for you but please, do seek some expert advice and also report him! He is an absolute menace to society.

sim2335

MalMonroe said:

You do seem to have a lot on your mind and also a lot on your plate, without much support from anyone else in your life.  I'm sorry about that.

Firstly, you can and should report this person to the police for harassment. You do have proof of continual harassment on your phone. Unless you've deleted everything. Police do take harassment very seriously. And if you report him and he threatens to 'get you back' (also known as retaliation) you can tell the police and they will caution him about that too. 

I think you would really benefit from contacting Citizens Advice about all of your problems. Here is a link for them which gives info about harassment. https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/law-and-courts/discrimination/taking-action-about-discrimination/taking-action-about-harassment/

You can also chat to them about everything else that's of concern to you. For example, you could also tell them that you would like to get your money back and ask them what is the best thing to do. You said that you had a record of him asking for money on WhatsApp, is that still there? If so, that's proof. 

I agree with others who have said that it's no good waiting for March. It's obvious to us all that this person is not going to do anything in your favour in March. If he does get a payout, what do you think he's going to do with it? You won't see any of it. He is a liar and a cheat. You need to do something now to start the ball rolling so that you can at least try (with the official help of somewhere like Citizens Advice) to get some of your money back.

Also, I wouldn't try to drag his wife into this. It's between you and him but he needs to be shown that you are no longer a pushover, which is where reporting him to police for continued harassment comes in.

I wish you good luck and hope that everything turns out well for you but please, do seek some expert advice and also report him! He is an absolute menace to society.

I do have one friend I chat to.
yes I have calls and texts not all of them but loads.

yeah he’s going to be reported, I can’t deal with him only police can

I know everyone is saying don’t wait till March, but it’s not long away, 

I spoke to citzens advice before they just gave me website to law firms and mediation.

Blodyn82

Hi sim2335, 
I can see that this is a really difficult situation for you and I'm glad that you have reached out for help. I can see from what you have written that you have difficulty in social situations and may have difficulty reading social cues. You mention CBT, but have you ever been diagnosed with autism? The autismwales.org website has lots of information if you want to look further. Whatever the case I do believe that you have been a victim of financial abuse and agree that the Police should be able to help you with this. 
Good luck with whatever you decide.

sim2335

Blodyn82 said:

Hi sim2335, 
I can see that this is a really difficult situation for you and I'm glad that you have reached out for help. I can see from what you have written that you have difficulty in social situations and may have difficulty reading social cues. You mention CBT, but have you ever been diagnosed with autism? The autismwales.org website has lots of information if you want to look further. Whatever the case I do believe that you have been a victim of financial abuse and agree that the Police should be able to help you with this. 
Good luck with whatever you decide.

I spoke to a professor once she goes I may have a mild form of autism but she needs my parents to look into it further.

also with fincial abuse, I spoke to that men’s helpline they just said the usual courts debt help etc
In past I spoke to police didn’t report anything just very Breif guys manipulated me and took 6k what can you do, they said civil matter

Now I’m gona make a actual report and tell them everything I don’t think they can help with money but with harrsment yes.

I didn’t want them to come and my mum hates all that stuff, so I had no option but to drop it.

Blodyn82

Hi again sim2335, 
I just remembered the term to use with police, which is mate crime and is seen as a form of hate crime. If you want to pursue a diagnosis I would recommend. In Wales they have Integrated Autism Service who diagnose adults and offer support, see the autismwales.org website and the What is autism? film which is fab. Even if you're not diagnosed some of the resources are great. Sorry I'm not sure what's available in other UK countries. AutisticUK also have a good supportive online community to talk to. Sometimes it's hard to think what people's intentions are and easy to be taken advantage of. 
Wishing you all the  best.

sim2335

Also I’m going to say at end if you ever contact me again or don’t pay my money......

what should I say because I don’t want to let him know about police etc cos I will contact them anyway.

the less he knows the better

Sea_Shell

You say this friend is married but his wife doesn't know he owes you £6k.

Surely she'll (they'll) already have other plans for this redundancy money.

New kitchen, new car or need to live on it.

Sorry, but the chances of you seeing any of it is close to zero.

He's more likely to ask you for MORE money!!