Friend owes me thousands

Brenster

Ok you have had all the advise anyone can give.
Seems like quite an immature relationship you have based on the info you have given ? from what i can tell you are worried about him disrupting things between you and your crush (girlfriend, or girl you like) ? Before you give him your final demand....pay me or i will ask your wife for the money, explain to this girl the situation, so she knows exactly what he is doing when he spreads any rumours.
But this 'friend' needs to be cut loose, i wouldnt waste anymore energy on him.
Finally, you need to start looking after yourself, your money is your own, not your friends, not your brothers, although your brother is paying you back, he asked you for money in the first place.  I think you need to be a bit firmer as i sense you may be seen by others as an easy target.
I wish you the best of luck.

Sea_Shell

That doesn't sound like standing up for yourself to me, sorry.

You are 33 years old.  Yet you seem to need him to validate you.  He seems to BE your life.

Why March why not NOW!!

Naomim

sim2335 said:

Brenster - yes I am scared to threaten him.

I’m scared because he will make even worser threat

Threaten what? To spread rumours and to whom?

What rumours can he spread that you can't deny?  

 I don't think you should wait until March. You are not going to see a penny from him. Block his number, change your phone number if you have to. Block him.on social media and move on with your life.  If he spreads rumours to your friends and they believe him you need better friends. 

Hasbeen

Sea_Shell said:

That doesn't sound like standing up for yourself to me, sorry.

You are 33 years old.  Yet you seem to need him to validate you.  He seems to BE your life.

Why March why not NOW!!

Exactly:  OP you are putting it off again

EimearF

I am sorry you are in this situation its  horrible.
I just wanted to add one thing, you talk about involving the police, but its very unlikely they will take anything to do with this. You are talking about emotional blackmail and money you gave him freely after he made you feel bad, not a direct threat which lead to you paying the money (which the police would look at). This is a civil case. As posters above have said, tell your parents and get them to help you deal with this and try and recover as much money as possible. Chancers like him know full well the police wont deal with it and empty threats wont help you get your money back. 

sim2335

The police not to get my money back

The police if he harass me any more

March because he has huge reducny come in I may get some..I may not but I need to see it out.(it’s not long when I’ve dealt with him over a year and a half)

My parents won’t help don’t chat to my dad and already told my mum who said.it’s my fault don’t send him anymore.

“Taking all my money, Harrsing me for more money, and then getting angry with me what’s wrong with you...and then blaming me, I haven’t took your money, I can’t control what you say to me.”

“You harres 24/7 for money and lose it gambling..and call me a joke wow...and when anyeone tries to help you laugh to off”

Stop harrsing  me for money and when I send out of goodness of my heart the eveuntully thanks I get is you ain’t getting nothing...”

Some of things I said in past to him, he still doesn’t stop but aplogises or stops for a few days..I’ve also tried to help him stop gambling with loads of advice he pretends he’s interested 

Or ignores it and talks about something elese bad or good 

elsien

Your mum is right. Don’t keep lending it to him. 

Karonher

As long as he does not have anything on you I don't know why you are still involved. There may be some logic for waiting until March and his payoff now but it should have ended months ago. Then I would be saying - you pay me back or your wife gets to know. Unless I have missed it and in which case I apologise, you don't seem to be denying there is something he has over you.

sim2335

He doesn’t have anything on me..but he’s very clever who knows what he will do that’s why I will speak to police.

If I mention his wife he will up the ante..his wife who I’ve met, she’s very nice unlike him.

He’s very patient too, but if I outright ignore him he will say I will ignore you in March.I never intite convo he always does.

sim2335

I know him so if I mention his wife, he will say soemthing like

I helped you with your crush, I was always there no one elese, I fed you at my house 

And I gave you money here and there and I’m trying my best to pay you even though I have debts..if that don’t work

Then he would switch and go hard on me saying I don’t give a ..... if I go to jail,I’m  gona ruin you this is much bigger then money...

How much of this is true and lies I don’t know.

Then he would be really friendly again, if I said I won’t tell her