Friend owes me thousands

Hasbeen

elsien said:

Hasbeen said:

33 year old male living with parents. Yes I would say vulnerable adult ? 

Op speak to your parents for any advice. You have lost the £6000. He is not your friend. Ignore / block all contact!

Do not get into any conversations / emails / phone calls  TOTALLY ignore from now on.

I lived with my family till after that age. I'm not a vulnerable adult. 

Read the OPs previous threads    He is vulnerable and his boyfriend and brother are taking advantage of his kindness

Brenster

He obviously has something significant on you, if you think he would risk you telling his wife, either that or you are physically scared of him.
If you told his wife it would likely turn his life upside down, dont underestimate how much he wont want this to happen....

sim2335

Has been - my brother took advantage then but not now even when I had thousands he didn’t ask for any on top he always pays the month loan amount when he can..and makes large payments thousands when he can
my friend is defiantly taking advantage.

brnester - what do you mean significant on me he doesn’t have anything on me.
ive met his wife etc
hes always hiding his gambling form his wife..she helps him out generally and all his wages go to her..but she thinks he’s stopped gambling.
but if he didn’t want this to happen why doesn’t he pay me back or at least stop asking for money.

has to be dealt with by police I think that’s best option?, everything has to.
he’s a gambling addict and probaly thinks he had me for life, soon as that stops and he can’t get money to gamble...he’s not gona give in.

he will messge me or leave a com saying I can get all your money call me etc, he’s very clever at things like that.

pogofish

Are there any support/advocacy services in your area you could involve - esp if he is claiming to have some kind of "secret" over you?  They can be very useful and un-judgmental in confidential situations, plus if you have a texts/bank/whatsapp trail, they might be able to help you put that into a form that could be evidential.

Also, people only have the "power" over you that you give them - The less you care about what he might do, the less he can wield and I'd hazzard a guess that anyone he's liable to try and "expose" you to will already have his measure and know what he's really up to.  You will not be the only one he's trying to coax money out of.

And to echo the others, he's not a friend - he's a parasitic, manipulative leech and apart from making the effort to recover what money you can, you are better off without him in your life!

Brenster

You mentioned he will up the anti ! this to me sounds like you are scared of threatening him.

If he doesnt the why are you so reluctant to threaten to tell his wife if he doesnt pay ?  And dont tell me because he is your friend as we have already established he is not your friend.

Sea_Shell

You have to decide what's more important.

Standing up for yourself, emotionally and financially, and moving on with your life, or this toxic relationship?

Write off the debt (in your head), cut contact (don't broadcast it, just do it), move on with your life.

If not, it's unlikely to end, sadly.

You have to take control...not be controlled.  

You say you're not vulnerable....BE invulnerable!!

sim2335

 stood up for myself many times nothing works hence I will cut him off in March 

Brenster - yes I am scared to threaten him.

I’m scared because he will make even worser threat.

You name it he’s offers it just for money to gamble feast at his house date with my crush he can orginse we all use to work together.

Extra money, take me to football games

When that doesn’t work after 2 days of non stop persuading he use emotional blackmail and you got getting a penny back etc I did this and that, you say anything I don’t care got stuff on you

Then he comes backs and says don’t worry, you will get your money sorry about before..and being nice again

Then ask for money again

Hasbeen

Are you actually listening to any advice posted here or in your previous threads? 

sim2335

Hasbeen said:

Are you actually listening to any advice posted here or in your previous threads? 

Yes I’ve stop giving him money I’m going to block him

im just undecided about whether to mention I will tell his wife

sim2335

And yes I have written of the debt in my head