Friend owes me thousands

sim2335

Emmia said:

sim2335 said:

Yes but even worse then money was the harrsment he put me through and guilt trips, lies etc

And the false promises of money, and when I don’t send more everything dashed.

Doesn’t he get tired of texting and calling lots of times with no reply and comes back next day...even if I needed money I would get sick of that, and plus all he does is gambles it 

He harasses/guilt trips you for money, because he (likely) has a gambling problem - and he needs his fix.

When he doesn't have the cash, you enable him by providing him with the means of continuing / not addressing his addiction.  He doesn't get tired of calling /texting as he knows you'll give in and send him the cash so he can gamble - this is why you need to cut contact, and change your mobile number (don't block, as he can just get another number to harass you)

If he won big, I'd take punt that he'd probably spend the winnings on more gambling or a holiday etc., for himself, rather than repaying you.

If he gets new number I will ignore and if I can’t change number

Naomim

sim2335 

Yes we work same place he’s redundent in march, back end of feb for one 

Did you know him before getting the job or did he befriend you at work? Is he senior to you or do the same job? And do you know if he is definitely being made redundant or has he just told you this? Is it widely known in the company there are redundancies and who is going?

If he is senior, there may be scope to go to your HR department with a bullying complaint. 

sim2335

Naomim said:

sim2335 

Yes we work same place he’s redundent in march, back end of feb for one 

Did you know him before getting the job or did he befriend you at work? Is he senior to you or do the same job? And do you know if he is definitely being made redundant or has he just told you this? Is it widely known in the company there are redundancies and who is going?

If he is senior, there may be scope to go to your HR department with a bullying complaint. 

Only met him through work we were in sort of same friend group, strange thing is.

We weren’t even that close then it’s when I moved departments..6months in he called me to ask for money started from there...same department he only ask for 10 here and there and always pay back

Same level as me.

Yes def redundant  seen his letter and his friend told me to same department.

The_Real_Cheddar_Bob

Something doesn't add up of you ask me. Sorry OP I'm not buying this story. If it is true, then I am sorry to hear, but you have been drip feeding information as the story line changes throughout the 13 pages of comments. 

Your original post should read,

err help, I've lent a work colleague some money and he doesn't repay. I'm aware he has been made redundant. I went on a few dates and he gained my trust, now I am not able to get anything back. Should I speak to my boss? 
Is there anything  I can do...


you wrote
i've lent a friend some money who promises to pay back and doesn't. ... yardy yardy yardy Now the friend is a work colleague, ex boyfriend. Tomorrow will he turn out to be related somewhat? 

poppy811

this is total rubbish

Naomim

Can you ask others at work if he's borrowed money from them?

I definitely think you have scope to make a formal complaint about him at work, seems he has groomed you into thinking he's a friend.  

sim2335

The_Real_Cheddar_Bob - it is true.

It would change depending on what he says.

what’s dates I’m a guy he’s a guy we were friends.

it didn’t read like that because it wasn’t that simple..he didn’t just take it and run.
he harrses me hard manipulates me blackmail me...he’s very nice...

friend and work colleague, I said I workerd with him at start 

sim2335

Naomim said:

Can you ask others at work if he's borrowed money from them?

I definitely think you have scope to make a formal complaint about him at work, seems he has groomed you into thinking he's a friend.  

No I can’t ask others because if I do and he will find out he will say bad things about me..

he’s getting made redundant in March so I don’t see what work would do about it.

he did groom me that’s how much he loves gambling.

Naomim

sim2335 said:

Naomim said:

Can you ask others at work if he's borrowed money from them?

I definitely think you have scope to make a formal complaint about him at work, seems he has groomed you into thinking he's a friend.  

No I can’t ask others because if I do and he will find out he will say bad things about me..

he’s getting made redundant in March so I don’t see what work would do about it.

he did groom me that’s how much he loves gambling.

They may have grounds for dismissal without redundancy or a reduced redundancy.  You're not going to see a penny so it wouldn't make a difference if he received nothing.

Also, he may say things about me.  You're not in a playground and need to grow up. What can he say? You need to fight fire with fire.

Emmia

sim2335 said:

Mum does, dad I don’t talk to, if he comes at the door which I doubt. I will contact the police.

mum doesn’t know I blocked him and he’s still asking and he harres me 

why would you think he will still come back...I can still ignore him anyway 

In reality, unless he seriously physically assaults you, the police will do nothing - they won't turn up like on the telly with blue lights and sirens blaring to save you.