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Friend owes me thousands

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  • Sea_Shell
    Sea_Shell Posts: 10,030 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    You don't really want to cut him off do you.     He brings some excitement and drama to your life.

    What do you have otherwise?

    Tell us about all the positive "good" things you have going on at the moment, that don't involve him at all. 
    How's it going, AKA, Nutwatch? - 12 month spends to date = 2.60% of current retirement "pot" (as at end May 2025)
  • Emmia said:
    Having read this thread, I do wonder if the OP is trolling?

    The answer, (if this is a real problem) is obvious, cut contact completely, write off the £6k as an expensive lesson.

    This person is not your friend, you are merely their free cash machine.

    It's all too easy for folk to post here with stories of woe, in the hope a huge response forms with. 
    That said, sometimes these stories are real. 
    OP - it is very difficult when family and friends are involved with money. Even though I know this I would still offer to help, knowing it would potentially cause an issue like you have. 
    I disagree about the legal standing. You can file a claim at the small claims court. You need to write your friend a letter outlining the debt and when you need it to be repaid. Remember the more reasonable you are, the better this is viewed if it goes to court. No threats, just facts. 
    If your friend acknowledges the debt at any point it could be considered evidence of the debt. So in your correspondence, send copies of all the text messages, even transcripts of voicemails If they exist and are any. 

    It is a lot of work to successfully bring a claim to fruition. Court is not a place for emotion. 
    Good luck
  • Kakiste
    Kakiste Posts: 1,022 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Third Anniversary Debt-free and Proud! Name Dropper
    I taught 6th form in an SEN school and it all sounds very familiar to me. Sadly those most vunerable are frequently taken advantage of by unscrupulous types, all the while claiming that they aren't vunerable and rejecting a lot of offered help. 
    Bottom line; 
    £49k paid off 
    Car HP paid off
    Debt Free!
    Saved Escape fund and moved out. 

    Current focus; saving Emergency fund
  • sim2335
    sim2335 Posts: 588 Forumite
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Posts Name Dropper

    I am not a troll this is my life.


    I’m glad I left him, I just feel bad it wasn’t amicable  I don’t know why though, and I regret being harsh...maybe cos this is last time I’m speaking to me and all help he gave me


    If I went to small claims court why’s it so hard I have all the bank transfers, and most his WhatsApp messages saying how much is owed when it will be paid back etc.yes there are voice messages he’s left on WhatsApp instead of text 


    I am gona do the letter first...he has a house I don’t know if that’s in his name or his wife name only, and he has money form work that’s it.

  • Naomim
    Naomim Posts: 3,142 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    Don't feel bad for him.

    You still haven't come to the realisation he was just using you. What help has he given you? Anything offered was on the proviso you continued to give him money. 

    Can you print out the WhatsApp messages and bank transfers. You will need them in printed form when you make the claim.  
    Credit Cards NOV 2019 £33,220.42 Sept 2023 £19,951.00 Tilly Tidy 20223/COLOR] Sept £43.71 Here's my diary: A Ditherer's Diary Again
  • sim2335
    sim2335 Posts: 588 Forumite
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Posts Name Dropper
    Naomim said:
    Don't feel bad for him.

    You still haven't come to the realisation he was just using you. What help has he given you? Anything offered was on the proviso you continued to give him money. 

    Can you print out the WhatsApp messages and bank transfers. You will need them in printed form when you make the claim.  
    Helped me with my crush, before after I took other friends advice she would ignore me not even say hi, he changed all that for her to chat to me it’s about work but still from ignoring me...also been to his house his wife cook for me..2-3 times 

    yes he only did this when I sent money and forgot about money I sent in past.
    He would beg for money for 2 days when that didn’t work he would change it,

    yes bank transfers can print out and WhatsApp emailed to myself so I can print that too....so much 
  • Sea_Shell
    Sea_Shell Posts: 10,030 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    So what you're basically saying is £6000 for some dating advice and a few meals.
    How's it going, AKA, Nutwatch? - 12 month spends to date = 2.60% of current retirement "pot" (as at end May 2025)
  • sim2335
    sim2335 Posts: 588 Forumite
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Posts Name Dropper

    Yes but even worse then money was the harrsment he put me through and guilt trips, lies etc


    And the false promises of money, and when I don’t send more everything dashed.


    Doesn’t he get tired of texting and calling lots of times with no reply and comes back next day...even if I needed money I would get sick of that, and plus all he does is gambles it 

  • Sea_Shell
    Sea_Shell Posts: 10,030 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    sim2335 said:

    Yes but even worse then money was the harrsment he put me through and guilt trips, lies etc


    And the false promises of money, and when I don’t send more everything dashed.


    Doesn’t he get tired of texting and calling lots of times with no reply and comes back next day...even if I needed money I would get sick of that, and plus all he does is gambles it 


    He's not going to get sick of it if keeps working, is he!  Why would he?   He obviously has no conscience.  

    You've been his personal bank giving open ended interest free "loans".

    So he's likely to keep on keeping on, until he gets the message that the bank is closed.

    When was the last time you actually lent him any money, even if only £10?
    How's it going, AKA, Nutwatch? - 12 month spends to date = 2.60% of current retirement "pot" (as at end May 2025)
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