Possible dispute over jointly inherited house

sew_what

Just a thought, I know your brother wouldn't be able to afford it, but shouldn't he be paying you rent for living in your half of the house?
Taking this a bit further, would it work better for you both if he had a lodger to provide you with an income and share bills?

MalMonroe

Well, here we go with families again. You're entitled to half of everything and that's what your Dad wanted. 

It's sad when things do come down to money and material possessions because it's not long since your Dad died - only the end of last year - and you and your brother must still be grieving. That's why your brother gets angry. He's obviously missing your Dad very much because he actually lived with him and saw him every day. Now not only has he lost his Dad but there's also the very real threat that he's going to lose his home and everything that's familiar to him.

If you aren't desperate for the money and there's no rush, can't you just leave things in abeyance until your brother feels better and is more able to discuss all these things more reasonably?

Obviously you'd need to check with a solicitor but I think it's possible for you to have a charge or something put on the property so that when it is sold, you get your fair share. It's obvious that you love your brother and don't want him to have to struggle. He's probably finding it extremely difficult to get his head round things at the moment, he lived with your Dad for years and now he's lost your Dad and he's on his own. It's a horrible time. He will probably come to realise, after trying to manage on his own that it would be best if the property was sold and he moved into something smaller. But right now, it's much too soon. Please don't fall out with him over material possessions, it's not worth it. He will probably need your love and support in the future as the house gets to be too much for him to manage but for now he needs kindness and understanding as well as the time to recover and get used to his drastically changed circumstances.

DepositSaver

No wonder he's upset if he believes he faces a period of homelessness. I think clarifying with him that any sale of your father's house would be timed to coincide with the purchase of a new home for him might help - which is the way most normal people do things when they move.
Thank you for this. I have to admit that I wasn't completely sure if a sale by the executor and purchase by my brother would/could happen as part of a chain like a "normal" sale and purchase, so it's good to know that they can.

DepositSaver

bouicca21 said:

OP you say he is not vulnerable but you actually describe someone who sounds as though he has mental health issues.  Does he have any social services support?

I don't know why he would need social services support? I said we wasn't vulnerable because he has no physical disability, doesn't have learning difficulties, has mental capacity and is completely capable of running his life (he just might need some advice and tips around hose buying and owning having never done it). He is on medication for a mental health condition but that just involves occasional appointments with his GP and repeat prescriptions - nobody has ever suggested that he is vulnerable because of this? 

DepositSaver

thorsoak said:

If he is on benefits, then his entitlement to such benefits may well be affected by this inheritance - has this point been explored fully?   

Not yet. I have done some checking and owning the house wouldn't affect his benefits while having more than £6000 in savings would. I know that it does need to be discussed. 

DepositSaver

You also say that your dad died at the end of last year. That is not very long ago. Your brother may need time to adjust.
In the end you may have to get firm about selling the house but you could give him a little longer to adjust.
I am happy to give him time to adjust, and to wait until he has had more time to think about options and is able to discuss more fully, but he was the one who was complaining to me at the start of January that the executor wasn't working quickly enough.

xylophone

 (he just might need some advice and tips around hose buying 

Cotton socks for fresher feet:?

DepositSaver

Savvy_Sue said:

I don't know if you're able to be in touch with his support bubble: it seems that they have the measure of him to a certain extent, but if you were BOTH able to 'sing from the same hymnsheet', might you get somewhere? 

So the words of the hymn are some variation of the following: 

• We recognise that you would like to stay in your Dad's house, but you can't
• You won't be homeless because we can help you find somewhere else to live
• You would be able to buy somewhere to live with the value of half Dad's house
• You would be able to take furniture and other sentimental items from Dad's house (I'm assuming there are no valuable Old Masters lurking anywhere: I'd have thought you could afford to be generous with normal household artefacts here ...)
• There is no point getting angry about this, and I am ending this phone call if all you are doing is shouting at me

Cracked record, repeat as necessary. 

I can contact his support bubble, but for various reasons I don't know that they would necessarily be singing from the same hymn sheet as me. It might be worth a go though if discussing with my brother can't get us to an agreement. 
Definitely no Old Masters in there! And yes I'd be happy for him to have pretty much anything/everything he wants from the house. 

DepositSaver

sew_what said:

Just a thought, I know your brother wouldn't be able to afford it, but shouldn't he be paying you rent for living in your half of the house?
Taking this a bit further, would it work better for you both if he had a lodger to provide you with an income and share bills?

As far as I know, I don't think I can charge him rent but I cold be wrong. That said, even if it was possible I absolutely would not want to mix family and business and be his landlord.
Regarding a lodger, I doubt that anyone would want to be a lodger in the house. 

DepositSaver

MalMonroe said:

Well, here we go with families again. You're entitled to half of everything and that's what your Dad wanted. 

It's sad when things do come down to money and material possessions because it's not long since your Dad died - only the end of last year - and you and your brother must still be grieving. That's why your brother gets angry. He's obviously missing your Dad very much because he actually lived with him and saw him every day. Now not only has he lost his Dad but there's also the very real threat that he's going to lose his home and everything that's familiar to him.

If you aren't desperate for the money and there's no rush, can't you just leave things in abeyance until your brother feels better and is more able to discuss all these things more reasonably?

Obviously you'd need to check with a solicitor but I think it's possible for you to have a charge or something put on the property so that when it is sold, you get your fair share. It's obvious that you love your brother and don't want him to have to struggle. He's probably finding it extremely difficult to get his head round things at the moment, he lived with your Dad for years and now he's lost your Dad and he's on his own. It's a horrible time. He will probably come to realise, after trying to manage on his own that it would be best if the property was sold and he moved into something smaller. But right now, it's much too soon. Please don't fall out with him over material possessions, it's not worth it. He will probably need your love and support in the future as the house gets to be too much for him to manage but for now he needs kindness and understanding as well as the time to recover and get used to his drastically changed circumstances.

I'm not in any rush nor desperate for the money, and am more than happy to give him time. He's the one who has said he wants things sorted out and been complaining things aren't moving fast enough. The one thing I really don't want is to own half a house which I could end up having to pay to maintain, and which could have CGT implications for me in future. I am open to any other solution. I hope I am showing him kindness, but it is sometimes not easy when he isn't always kind himself (now and in the past).