Possible dispute over jointly inherited house

xylophone

The Deed of Variation suggested does fell perhaps the sensible, lease hassle thing to do, but I have a nagging thought that I know my dad would be really upset if he knew the estate ended up being split so unevenly. 

I don't want to be responsible for him ending up with no home - he is still my brother. 

I think that you may just have to leave aside your concerns about your father's thoughts - he has gone out of this world while you are still in it and have to get on with living.

In terms of your brother and his benefits, surely it would be better in this respect  to arrange DoV giving him the house - since the house is worth more (much more) than the cash and the car there could be no question of wilful deprivation of assets but as there would be no cash, his benefits would be unaffected?

He would have a home (and enough in benefits to keep himself), you would have a modest bequest from your father and freedom from any question of having to maintain the property.

Otherwise the exor will need to screw his courage to the sticking point and use his power to put the house on the market?

yksi

DepositSaver said:

I appreciate that him having more than half his share wouldn't be fair to me, but on the other hand half the estate is unlikely to be enough to buy anything other than something in need of at least some refurbishment (which he couldn't afford to do) and I don't want to be responsible for him ending up with no home - he is still my brother. 

I hear you. I think it's also worth remembering that even if he took his half as cash, he would not be homeless! That cash would help him to rent for quite a while, or even become a deposit on a home later if he manages to get back into work. You sound like you feel responsible for him but I still don't see any mention of him being vulnerable or disabled. I think you have been more than kind and I know it's not easy to walk on eggshells. The question really is, how long should you have to?

You could always start a conversation with an "action plan" and just start discussing how (not if) you will help him with what's required to get the place sold and him into a lovely new property. Any temper tantrum is waaaay away at the other end of the phone line. He doesn't understand a sale or purchase process, so he surely will not understand the probate process and the fact that it's not up to him. So tell, not ask. If he wants to shout then let him shout, but stop giving him choices in the matter because he clearly doesn't know how to proceed and is trying to walk all over your kindness.

yksi

Also, food for thought: What happens if you give him the house and the boiler breaks? He's still going to come to you and expect you to pay for it. You are still going to feel like he needs looking after and you're still going to pay for it. This house is a white elephant he can't afford.

Marcon

DepositSaver said:

yksi said:

DepositSaver said:

xylophone said:

 He said he "doesn't know how to buy a house". 

Tell him that you do?

I told him I do, he then started saying he doesn't want another house, he wants to stay where he is. 

You don't mention what happened next in the conversation, but the right response is "Well you can't. We are both very sad, but Dad is gone now, and you don't have the money to buy out my half and you don't have the income to maintain the house. So there is no choice, the house has to be sold." You can then offer to help him search for a place he can buy and you can reassure him that estate agents and solicitors can help him through the buying process - he doesn't need to know how it works in detail.

He is an ADULT and he is responsible for looking after himself. It should not be your job, or anybody else's job, to support him or house him or give him free money. From your mention of board being reduced when he was unable to pay, it sounds like your father never required him to be an adult. Sadly, you have both lost your father now, and he will need to learn to adult.

I see people suggesting giving him more than his half share. Honestly I don't think this is fair to you. For many many years your father has being giving to him and supporting him. He has already had masses and masses of your father's money and support, which in a way might have been a disservice. It is not unfair to now take the half that belongs to you, especially from someone who doesn't seem to want to do the fair thing for you. And on the human side of things, it is not doing him any favours by leaving him alone in a big house that he can't afford to maintain. It's kinder to make him face the sale now and be in a nicer, smaller home that he can learn to handle on his own.

 He then started panicing about where he would live after the house was sold and while he was looking for somewhere else (he has a support bubble he stayed with for a while after my dad died and who be visits every weekend, but he says the person has told him he couldn't stay there while looking for a new home).  

No wonder he's upset if he believes he faces a period of homelessness. I think clarifying with him that any sale of your father's house would be timed to coincide with the purchase of a new home for him might help - which is the way most normal people do things when they move.

bouicca21

OP you say he is not vulnerable but you actually describe someone who sounds as though he has mental health issues.  Does he have any social services support?

thorsoak

If he is on benefits, then his entitlement to such benefits may well be affected by this inheritance - has this point been explored fully?   

Mickey666

A very difficult situation.
I think the OP has only two practical options - a potentially nasty and upsetting row with his brother in which he somehow forces the sale of the house and an equal division of his father's estate, resulting in his Brother being kicked out of his family home, or giving up on an equal distribution, letting the brother have the house and just taking all the other assets.

I really don't think the split ownership of the house option is a good one.  At best it will lead to a lot of short term conflict whenever it requires any maintenance and will be a continual burden with little or no benefit - well, financial benefit anyway.  There's the promise of a longer term benefit when the house is eventually sold, but it sounds like that will never be while the brother is alive, which sounds harsh but is likely to be the case.  

And all that is only considering the financial implications.  There are undoubtedly emotional considerations as well - are the brothers close, for example?  Would the OP be prepared to never talk to his brother again?
Not easy

MovingForwards

Financially dependant means relying on your dad, in this case you're saying your dad cooked, did his washing and also provided a roof over his head. 

As the will makes no reference to the house, it gets sold and the proceeds split between you. Your brother wouldn't be homeless as he picks a property he likes, within his budget, and that purchase runs alongside the sale of your dad's house, creating another property in the chain.

pmlindyloo

To a certain extent it may be helpful to know roughly how much money is involved. 

i am thinking of the following scenario.
The executor does what the will says so splits the cash between you and places the house in both your names.

If the amount of cash means that your brother’s benefits are reduced or stopped then it will not be long before your brother realises that he cannot maintain the house himself.

By the way, you are not liable for the council tax.  He is.

It is possible that after a few months have gone by that your brother will realise that keeping the house is not an option.


You also say that your dad died at the end of last year. That is not very long ago. Your brother may need time to adjust.

In the end you may have to get firm about selling the house but you could give him a little longer to adjust.

If your brother is not vulnerable in any way then I do agree that tough love may be needed in the end.  

Savvy_Sue

I don't know if you're able to be in touch with his support bubble: it seems that they have the measure of him to a certain extent, but if you were BOTH able to 'sing from the same hymnsheet', might you get somewhere? 

So the words of the hymn are some variation of the following: 

• We recognise that you would like to stay in your Dad's house, but you can't
• You won't be homeless because we can help you find somewhere else to live
• You would be able to buy somewhere to live with the value of half Dad's house
• You would be able to take furniture and other sentimental items from Dad's house (I'm assuming there are no valuable Old Masters lurking anywhere: I'd have thought you could afford to be generous with normal household artefacts here ...)
• There is no point getting angry about this, and I am ending this phone call if all you are doing is shouting at me

Cracked record, repeat as necessary.