Possible dispute over jointly inherited house

wannabe_a_saver

Your brother seems much closer to accepting reality.  Have you considered that if you just took the bull by the horns, told him kindly but firmly 'this is happening now, there's no other option, but I love you and I'll help you sort things out with your share' that he mayt in fact be a bit relieved and glad to have the decision making, coming up with plans etc. and stress out of his hands. 

DepositSaver

wannabe_a_saver said:

Your brother seems much closer to accepting reality.  Have you considered that if you just took the bull by the horns, told him kindly but firmly 'this is happening now, there's no other option, but I love you and I'll help you sort things out with your share' that he mayt in fact be a bit relieved and glad to have the decision making, coming up with plans etc. and stress out of his hands. 

I hadn't considered doing that. His last couple of messages to me suggested he wasn't wanting to discuss things at all at the moment, so I suspect any message from me telling him there is no other option (even if I also tell him I'll help him sort things) would be met with him repeating that he doesn't want to discuss it. There is also the fact that if he did accept my help, I worry he would expect me to do literally everything for him, rather than just to help and advise, in the same way that I have been the one doing all the research and coming up with all the suggestions and options so far. I don't mind helping him, but don't have the time or mental energy to do everything for him. But I guess it's worth me offering help and I'd just have to be strict with boundaries if he wants me to do everything.

I've heard nothing from him about his looking into his finances, it really feels as if he was just saying that to stall things further. I did email the solicitor to ask what we do if my brother won't discuss things with me and thus we can't agree on what happens to the house. Two weeks later and no reply so will phone them to ask the question I think, then once I have an answer work out from there what to do next.

calleyw

DepositSaver,

Thanks for the update even though it seems nothing has progressed.  I think at the moment your are best letting the Solictor deal with it.  It makes them the bad guy and not you.

Fingers crossed you hear back from the solictor soon and things can get moving.  I assuming the estate is paying for the solictor? If so does your brother understand that its costing the estate money doing it this way.  Which in turns means both of you gets less at the end? That might be that he needs to be reminded of this.  As sometimes people bury their heads in the sand.  But once they realise they will be getting less money due their actions they often tend to start agreeing to things.

Yours

Calley

cindydorano

Wow I'm about to go through almost the exact same issue. A lot to read here and sadly seems like its not going to be easy. I'm trying so hard not to let my situation eat up all my energy and thoughts, hope you find peace in this and can move forward in your life and maintain your relationship with your brother.