Time to start a fresh.

BlueJ94

enthusiasticsaver said:

Unfortunately clearing debt is a slog but hopefully you will not be tempted to get into debt in the future as you know how rubbish it makes you feel.  Frustrating about your mum not paying back your OH.  In the future I would be tempted to tell her he cannot help her out as she doesn't pay him back. Exercise (particularly free exercise) is a great destressor.  No need to join an expensive gym.  Just get out walking lots or if you have a bike a cycle ride.  

That's very true! Well, I told her this last time but she tries to guilt trip me and I can't deal with arguing with her over it. Although she does eventually pay back. BUT she also pays for everything for my 20 year old brother who doesn't have a job, he doesn't pay for rent, food electric anything! My mam is relying on the money from the house to get her out of debt but we've been waiting for over a year now. 

Regarding exercise, I enjoyed the gym when I went before but my friend didn't go! If I do join the gym again it would be the one near work which is less than £18PM. I do plan on keeping up walking of Django in the mornings  

Thanks for the advice!

Baileys_Babe

Will the sale from the house clear your Mam's debts?

Does your brother receive any benefits?

Her current behaviour is not helping either of them manage their money or in your brother's case motivate him to get a job.

You on the other hand have been working to clear your debts and build up an emergency fund. Learning skills to get out of and stay out of debt.

I would suggest that once you have finally had the payout from the house, any money you don't have an immediate use for you put in an account that requires you to give notice before you can make a withdrawal, otherwise, I fear your Mam will keep coming to you with repeated sob stories until you have nothing left and she is unable to pay you back.

BlueJ94

Baileys_Babe said:

Will the sale from the house clear your Mam's debts?

Does your brother receive any benefits?

Her current behaviour is not helping either of them manage their money or in your brother's case motivate him to get a job.

You on the other hand have been working to clear your debts and build up an emergency fund. Learning skills to get out of and stay out of debt.

I would suggest that once you have finally had the payout from the house, any money you don't have an immediate use for you put in an account that requires you to give notice before you can make a withdrawal, otherwise, I fear your Mam will keep coming to you with repeated sob stories until you have nothing left and she is unable to pay you back.

Yes, she will be getting around 22K I believe. It's split between my uncle and auntie. So she said she would give me, my sister and brother some as well. 

My brother has always been the same. He left school and did nothing for years. He did work with me for about 2 months and decided he just couldn't be bothered anymore so just left. 

This is also my fear, that she will be relying on me to help her out. She's just infuriating me more each day, like today she owes me £14 I told her keep it until payday as I don't need it right now and she's complaining now as she has to pay my uncle £15 towards something to do with the estate agents. She owes my brothers girlfriend £60 also. I now know where my bad spending habits have come from. I NEVER want to be like her with money, I want to be able to afford stuff. This is why I'm trying to work my bum off clearing these debts! I know after she's out of debt she would easily get back into it. I'm hoping to pay off some of the smaller debts with my money. Then anything I don't spend will be put into savings. 

Baileys_Babe

I am sorry your Mam is frustrating you and I can completely understand why. It sounds as if she has got herself in a right mess and can't see a way out.

Pleased that you are deciding to take a different path and will be in control of your money.

BlueJ94

thanks @Baileys_Babe hopefully get the money from the house sooner rather than later so we can sort debts etc!.

BlueJ94

I'm not doing well on my water but I will get to my 2 litres before the end of the day. Also, we have a vending machine in work now so I have to try and resist the temptation of using it as its expensive! BUT on the plus side my boss also provides free fruit so I can munch away on that

BlueJ94

Oh also, just got £15 reward for doing a product trial, put straight into my savings! nearly at £50 already

foxgloves

You'll get there, Jade. All of us who have overspent our income finally realise the stark truth that paying it back takes a damn sight longer than racking up the debt. But you'll get there if you just keep on chipping away at it. No £ is too small to add to a debt repayment.....even tiny things. Usually spend £2.99 on a product but it's available in the pound shop? That's an extra £2 to pay off. Titchy amount in itself but when we were debtbusting I found these little bits did add up if I kept on at it. I think it also gave me the feeling that I was still working on it between paydays.
Re the money lent to your Mum. This is a tricky situation but I honestly wouldn't lend her any more unless it is genuinely a case of her not being able to eat unless you help her. Re your adult sibling at home not working or contributing, there are many job vacancies atm with such a lot of businesses experiencing staff shortages, so there sjould be no need for you to subsidise an adult who doesn't work. If you are asked for money, I think it seems very reasonable to say no, because the loan was not fully repaid on the previous occasion.
I have no doubt that you are on the road to freedom from debts & won't rack them up again.
Stay strong!
F x

BlueJ94

Thanks @foxgloves!

Well, the thing is we didn't lend her the money her boyfriend owed it to my OH but he paid her to pay me and she couldn't afford to give me the who £160. So she kept it and guilt tripped us.

Also my brother doesn't live with me anymore thank god, he lives on his own but it's technically my mams place she's renting from someone. But she lives with her boyfriend. So she's paying £400 in rent for my brother to live there without paying a penny. This what winds me up so much!

Thank you for the wise words of wisdom! 

BlueJ94

Evening all, 

I drank my two litres of water so I'm happy with myself for that. I've just got home from the doctors after having my depo jab so now I've a dead arm plans for this evening is shower, wash my hair.. Hate doing it!! catch up on surveys and wait for the new programme that jodie comer is in! Starts at 9PM on channel 4 I think. OH is making burgers for dinner so I get to chill out.