Frump to Fab 2021

helensbiggestfan

Good Mornjng lovely ladies 

hope everyone is well and safe.  I'm still self isolating. Keeping busy and being productive to keep my spirits up. Mainly decluttering, deep cleaning and have shifted all the rugs and accessories around, adding some gorgeous tulips and a couple of new plants to brighten up the winter gloom.  Still have some fairy lights up and still lighting the candles.  

I'm not counting WW points but I have gone back to full paleo and reduced dairy, lots of fruit and vegetables, and reducing the amount of  processed meats such as bacon and sausages. Shame because I love bacon.  I also love croissants too, but I have decided that both have to be a once a week treat and not everyday Foods. (This stupid iPad won't recognise the word f a y r e). 😡😂. 

I have been doing a lot of thinking recently about where I want to be at the end of this year, what I want to have achieved.  As you know my word for the year is "intention" so I have made some decisions and have started taking steps to bring my plans to fruition, living more intentionally, not allowing myself just to drift along like so much flotsam.

Part of this process has meant thinking about my role in life.  I have been a daughter, sister, wife,  mother and latterly a widow.  It is inevitable that as we age we lose some of these roles, no longer a daughter so no longer do I have any filial duties or obligations, ditto being a wife, and although I'm still a mother (and now a grandmother) my children are fully functioning adults so I see my role as less mother, more friend and mentor. 

Anyway it occurred to me that I now have no real obligations or duties towards anyone, for the first time ever I am totally as free as a bird.  I appreciate that might sound blindingly obvious but when you have to work your way through the fog of widowhood and grief you can't always see the wood for the trees.  So you function at a superficial level, going through the motions of daily life but not  really living.  You just exist in a strange no man's land, neither wife nor Singleton.  They don't called it Widows Brain for nothing.  But once covid is over I intend to make full use of that freedom,  

One thing that these lockdowns are doing for me is that they are affording me the opportunity to really stop and think, not always possible when you are on the treadmill of daily existence.  Is anyone else doing this.  I have spoken to several friends in RL who all seem to be going through the same journey, a journey of introspection and regrouping, making lifestyle changes in preparation for life after Covid.  I think this is why so many people are decluttering like crazy,  Out with the old and in with the new.....😁

One  of my lifestyle changes is about food and diet. I realised I still had the wife and mother mindset in  the kitchen, still thinking about food, shopping and cooking in the same old way, keeping the same old habits. I have decided to drop all that and instead to enjoy the freedom of being single. Obviously many of the changes won't be able to take full effect until after Covid but one of the changes will be to eat out more.  Basically I intend to cook a lot less, no need to be a kitchen slave,  if I want a full English breakfast I will eat out. No fuss, no mess.  I am going to clear out all the equipment I won't be using.  

And really there's no need for me to eat broccoli........😂🤣.  I can get my fibre and vitamin c from much nicer sources.  

Congratulations Mrs P on getting hubby to part with his unused toys and putting the money raised to such good use. I have loads of stuff ready to sell, not just stock for my proposed little business venture but also some of my treasures, bric a brac that just sit in the cupboards.  I'm going to clear the lot, selling as much as I can so I'll take my time.  I can't really list it for sale yet because I don't want to risk visits to the post office until I've had my jab. It doesn't matter I'm in no real hurry.  

Car has gone in for its MOT today.  🤞.  Once I know it's got the all clear I'm going to book a slot for the tip and make a start clearing the stuff I won't be donating or selling.  

Have a great day y'all.  I going to fab my hall, and then later give  myself a facial.  

Stay safe and keeeeep fabbing,  

FrankieM

I can really relate to your thinking LL.

Due to a complete change in circumstances this year, I now find myself mortgage free. It comes with a life I hadn't expected, but still, I'm mortgage free.

I've spent so much time over the last months being annoyed at the situation I find myself in, that I had completely missed that important part of this different life and the freedom that now affords me.

The freedom to choose where, when and how much I work. The freedom to look at starting up some kind of side hustles so I can reduce the amount of work I do for an employer. The realisation has just blown my mind.

So, like you, rather than to continue to live as I always have, I'm going to start to live with this new freedom that I have.

helensbiggestfan

Good  for you, Frankie.  Doesn't it feel fab-u-lous. 😁

You are so right, it IS mind blowing when the realisation of total freedom finally hits you.  I don't know why it's taken me so long......suffice it say I am finally there now and I am just so excited.  I have spent a lot of time in recent weeks journalling, just pouring all my thoughts out into paper. And then last weekend Bingo!!! - it just hit me.  Like St Paul's conversion on the road to Damascus.  A blinding flash and all was revealed.  😂🤣. 

Freedom is not always something we choose. Sometimes we have it thrust upon us, against our will - death, divorce, loosing a job.  I think that when it happens that way, it becomes problematic. The rug has been pulled  from under us and we don't know quite what to do about it.  Change is always unsettling and it can be quite scary.  And sometimes our fears get in the way, we can't see our way forward, and our future seems bleak and empty.  It's not been a pleasant journey.  

It's taken me a while but now I'm finally ready to grasp the opportunities that total freedom can offer. I now feel totally liberated. It's such a wonderful feeling, so light and carefree, with all the burdens lifted at last.

 I know I'm in danger of waxing lyrical here but I cannot tell you how wonderful it feels. I feel so excited at all the possibilities.  It's like the doors have opened up and showed me a world of opportunity, just waiting for me to grab them,  I feel like a child in a sweet shop.  

Welcome Frankie to your new world, one of fresh thinking and a new way of living. Definitely set up a couple of sideline hustles.  What have you got in mind.  Who knows - if it really takes off maybe you can ditch your employer and be your own boss.  Wishing you lots of luck whatever you decide. 

Ps mechanic just dropped my car off.  Passed its MOT with flying  colours.  Wahoo.  Mech said he loves my car, says it's such fun to drive, that its got lots of Ooomph.  

Brilliant sunshine here. Going to go for a nice walk after my coffee.  

maman

I like broccoli!! 🤣

I can identify with introspection but not sure that I'm enjoying it. I think I miss the distraction that 'normal' life brings. I've always been a political sort of person and I find it so hard to switch off from the chaos all around us and miss the society of my friends. I'm also very afflicted with the protestant work ethic, another lifelong trait, so having so much time to spend on leisurely activities is hard.  

Those are the negatives but compared with others I have so many positives in my life. I don't want to go as far as counting blessings ( some people are writing them in a journal but I find that a bit twee) but I am comfortable and safe which is more than many. Fabbing really helps me as , other than the distraction, it satisfies me in that I'm maintaining the standards I've set for myself, helps keep some structure and control  in the days,  and has the bonus of helping to keep fit and healthy. 

Having a cooked breakfast when you're out is a good idea LL. It's not just the mess and work but it means you will automatically cut back on the bacon (provided you don't go every day🤣). I do the same thing with cheese. I'll treat myself to a cheeseboard in a restaurant after a good meal  and then it might be months before I do the same again. The alternative would be to buy all the constituent cheeses and eat them all at home which would be far too much fat. Same with a nice slice of cake in a NT café, far better than baking or buying  one and eating the lot! 🤔 I do it with crisps and sandwiches too. 😁 

This morning, I've cut my nails, while they were softer, after my shower. I'll complete my manicure later, probably  this evening while I'm half watching  something  on TV. Last night I watched another of the Rick Stein programmes. He was talking to Barry Humphries (aka Dame Edna). I was amazed at how well spoken he is in RL, a friend of the late John Betjeman and a lover of poetry in general. 

It's damp here but so much milder than last week. It's the first day I haven't put any thermals on! 😁

Wednesday2000

LL - I can't empathise as I love broccoli too like Maman, if you like bell peppers they are very high in vitamin C, highest out of any fruit or veg, I think.

It's milder weather here too. I did a hair treatment and went out for a walk this morning.

I did type out a post but it was a bit dark so I deleted it. I think it is the pandemic on top of the winter weather. I always feel depressed at this time of year. I have made a telephone appointment with a GP for next week and I'm thinking about going back on medication. I think I went on medication in February last year but I think the virus situation has accelerated it for me this year. I hope to start going on holiday after we don't have our cats and dogs anymore so I can get some sunshine as I don't think I can get enough proper daylight in the UK. 

I was saying to my husband that I should feel "free" as we are mortgage and debt free but it is his shift work that makes me feel so trapped. He is hoping to retire next April now and we will probably move house then. I thought we could maybe move this Autumn if everyone is meant to be vaccinated by then. It's hard to plan with the constantly changing news about Covid. I am getting so many Rightmove alerts each day although I don't understand how people are viewing houses with social distancing in place. I don't think I said on here but two men at my husband's work are seriously ill with Covid. They are mid fifties. He hadn't seen them so that wasn't why he got the test and trace alert. It was probably just a random person he was next to on the tube.

I just want this year to go past as quickly as possible. At least we have £20,000 saved up as of this month so we have moving costs taken care of. I'm just going to relax and watch the OJ show with my husband this afternoon. It really is excellent even watching it twice.

FrankieM

helensbiggestfan said:

Welcome Frankie to your new world, one of fresh thinking and a new way of living. Definitely set up a couple of sideline hustles.  What have you got in mind.  Who knows - if it really takes off maybe you can ditch your employer and be your own boss.  Wishing you lots of luck whatever you decide. 

  

Unfortunately LL That's the part I'm unsure of...with all this freedom, I'm a little at a loss as to where to start. But, ditching the employer is the goal.....any advice on knowing where to start would be greatly appreciated...

helensbiggestfan

Wednesday  ......well done on making the GP appt.  Its good you have been able to notice that your mood is dipping so you can take action quickly.  And very well done on the £20k, that's brilliant.  You have got a great goal on the horizon.  Keep your pecker up.  Think how nice it will be when your husband retires and you can find your dream home.   

I have just come back from a lovely walk, through the woods and the park, all within easy walking distance of my house. First time I have visited them. The longer I live here the more I like it......so much so I may be tempted to stay.  I keep discovering more about the area, different shops and little businesses, parks and places to visit - and the real bonus, my neighbours are truly fantastic.  Had a lovely chat and a few laughs this afternoon......all socially distanced of course. 😂

I know I started out regarding this house as a temporary move, some where to flip, but it's really growing on me. That happened with our family home. When we bought it it was supposed to be temporary, two years or so, but we ended up staying for 24 years.  We just loved it and it was a terrible wrench to leave it.  

There are a lot of pluses to remaining here so before I make a final decision I am going to get some quotes for some building work.  If I can get it done for around the same price as it would cost me to move then I might just stay put.   It's not essential work, basically improving the original loft conversion to bring it up to today's standards, possibly adding an en-suite - I think there's room.  It would make a fabulous master suite, and then give me two really good sized spare bedrooms for guests/grandchildren/study.   Just not sure how much it would cost......how much of the original conversion job would need to be scrapped.  

Only one way to find out. 😂.  

Watched a bit of the Night Manager last night. (BBC 4).  I've seen it before but enjoyed seeing it again. Hugh Laurie as an arms dealer - a thoroughly  nasty piece of work.  He makes a terrific baddie.  Can throughly recommend and Tom Hiddleston is very easy on the  eye. Lol.  He would have made a great James Bond but I think he's blown it. 

 Tonight I'm going to try "The American" - Cate Blanchette.  Not quite sure but from the trailer it looks like it's about the fight for female equality.  Might be a bit too worthy but I do like her......she's always good to watch.  

Ok rest time over, time to get cracking.  

candygirl

Sorry you're feeling low WEDNESDAY The covid situation,  n dark weather deffo wont help.I'm the same, but have been using my sad lamp every day, n it helps a bit. I crave the sunshine,  n suffer from SAD in the darker months  
LL staying put sounds like a fab idea, now you have settled in the area, n like it .Moving is such an upheaval, so good if you can avoid it Ace news about the car too !
Did anyone watch The Pembrokeshire Murders last night? It's on until Thurs, n is really good so far.Luke Evans is a bit tasty too 😘😋
Just watching A New Life In the Sun , for a bit of brightness xx

maman

Is that Mrs America LL? I watched that a few months back and thoroughly enjoyed it. It is sort of about equality but also an insight into the background of American politics, very topical. 🤔

helensbiggestfan

Sorry yes.  Mrs America.  Silly me. 😂. Just going to watch the news then give it a go.