Frump to Fab 2021

Wednesday2000

Thanks guys.xxx

I went out for another quick walk and then when I got back my husband just got his pension statement in an email. It was delayed from last year because of Covid obviously. We are running scenarios if he retires 2022 or 2023 to see how the figures pan out. We are in a very good position at our age so I don't know why I am not more hopeful for the future. I think I am still scared from when my husband had cancer and nearly lost his job and then when my dog got ill and we had almost a £10,000 bill that the insurers took ages to pay. I'm constantly fearful that something is going to go massively wrong financially.

I think I have said this before on here, it's called Bag Lady Syndrome. What Women Must Do To Ditch Bag Lady Syndrome The women on the Real Housewives shows (who are very rich) have mentioned feeling the same way. I think it stems from my mother being a single mother after my dad left. She had to go on benefits and we got free school meals. I have this fear of it happening to me. It doesn't even make sense as that couldn't possibly happen to me as I own my house outright and I have no debt! Also I don't have kids!

Floss

Candy, I'm saving the Pembrokeshire Murders till Friday night 😁

savingfortomorrow

Wednesday - I think it is normal to fear financial clamality- just look at the last year service industries completely decimated. I think the worry of finances is in the ether, it's palpable and close to home for many. This time has shown us how fragile things are and things can change so easily. Now, that can be looked upon with negativity or positivity.
     
Things are not concrete, change is possible, we are more adaptable and braver to take a risk into new ventures. Life is not what we expected so sometimes we have to toss the map out the window and dream it up again. 

savingmore

Wednesday2000 said:

Thanks guys.xxx

I went out for another quick walk and then when I got back my husband just got his pension statement in an email. It was delayed from last year because of Covid obviously. We are running scenarios if he retires 2022 or 2023 to see how the figures pan out. We are in a very good position at our age so I don't know why I am not more hopeful for the future. I think I am still scared from when my husband had cancer and nearly lost his job and then when my dog got ill and we had almost a £10,000 bill that the insurers took ages to pay. I'm constantly fearful that something is going to go massively wrong financially.

I think I have said this before on here, it's called Bag Lady Syndrome. What Women Must Do To Ditch Bag Lady Syndrome The women on the Real Housewives shows (who are very rich) have mentioned feeling the same way. I think it stems from my mother being a single mother after my dad left. She had to go on benefits and we got free school meals. I have this fear of it happening to me. It doesn't even make sense as that couldn't possibly happen to me as I own my house outright and I have no debt! Also I don't have kids!

Thanks for this wednesday, I had not heard of bag lady syndrome, and I think I have it if i am honest.  Interesting few posts.  Yes the last ten months have shown me I want to retire.  get state pension in summer 23.  thought i might stay on longer, but i am thinking about retiring everyday.  theoretically can go as have no mortgage and money in bank, but at moment can save quite a bit every month.  i have thought i have a need for x amount in bank before retiring which I could have from savings over next 2.5 yrs if I am careful.   but that is a figure I sort of plucked from thin air.  what is stopping me?  it could well be bag lady syndrome.  more to ponder.....

candygirl

Floss said:

Candy, I'm saving the Pembrokeshire Murders till Friday night 😁

It's so good hun .Hope You're ok , n glad to see you posting again 😘xx

helensbiggestfan

Wednesday...thanks for the link. 

Bag Lady Syndrome is very much a thing and you don't have to be middle aged either to suffer from it.  I think it's quite normal to have fears about money, especially if you are single and have no one to share your thoughts with or discuss finances with.  

I come from a very modest working class background and money was always very tight and although I'm comfortable enough now (not rich😂)  I do still remember what it was like and I never want to go back to that life. 

Thankfully I used my fear of returning to poverty as my spur and decided early on I needed to build up assets.  It was my top priority when my first marriage failed, Whilst many of my contemporaries and work colleagues were renting and spending all their money on clothes, cars, holidays and partying I was the boring one who ploughed all her money into buying a house.  It was often a huge struggle because I wasn't earning an especially generous salary but I'm glad I did it that way. Those couple of years of sacrifice paid dividends in the long run.  

I recently read a very good book called "Nice Girls Dont Get Rich".  It was written by an American in 2005 so whilst some of the finer detail such as pensions and investments are inappropriate for the U.K. market and some of it is a bit dated, the underlying principles are relevant to any timescale and any country, especially the psychology behind it. It's well worth reading. 

 I just wished she had written it 40 years earlier.  I would be a wealthy woman now.😂

helensbiggestfan

FrankieM said:

helensbiggestfan said:

Welcome Frankie to your new world, one of fresh thinking and a new way of living. Definitely set up a couple of sideline hustles.  What have you got in mind.  Who knows - if it really takes off maybe you can ditch your employer and be your own boss.  Wishing you lots of luck whatever you decide. 

  

Unfortunately LL That's the part I'm unsure of...with all this freedom, I'm a little at a loss as to where to start. But, ditching the employer is the goal.....any advice on knowing where to start would be greatly appreciated...

Oops sorry just spotted this.......

Yes, starting over is scary isn't it.  Like you I floundered, I knew I wanted to start a business but it's taken me a while to get into the right mindset.  I kept procrastinating, putting it off  till I was "ready".  But as you know I have vowed that this year there will be no more procrastination. So ready or not, I'm going to go for it, just as soon I've been vaccinated and lockdowns are lifted.  So basically aiming for around May time for lift off.  

I'm not sure how much advice I can give you, I certainly don't see myself as a business guru.  That was my husband but I did learn a lot from him. 

My advice as follows, such as it is, is based on some some of the things he taught me. I worked through all the questions before finally deciding on how I'm going to proceed.   As you can see it's quite a lot of work before I reached a point where I'm ready but I think it was worth spending the time thinking things through.  

What interests you, what skills do you have, can you use your knowledge, experience and contacts from your day job as a basis on which to build.  Do you want to.  Do you want to stay in the same field or do you want to do something completely different. What are your strengths and weaknesses.  Do you have any capital.  Will you need equipment, do you need any further training.  

You  say sideline hustles, how much do you want to earn from them. How much time and effort would you have to put into them to make it worth your while. Are they in addition to a "proper business" or do you want to expand a sideline into a full time business, 

It's up to you of course and a lot will depend on how risk averse you are.  But the best advice I can give is to be careful of not overcommitting yourself and be mindful of cash flow.  Starve a business of cash  and it will go under at the  first hint of trouble or economic downturn so think very carefully about your overheads.  

thepurplepixie

One  of my lifestyle changes is about food and diet. I realised I still had the wife and mother mindset in  the kitchen, still thinking about food, shopping and cooking in the same old way, keeping the same old habits. I have decided to drop all that and instead to enjoy the freedom of being single. Obviously many of the changes won't be able to take full effect until after Covid but one of the changes will be to eat out more.  Basically I intend to cook a lot less, no need to be a kitchen slave,  if I want a full English breakfast I will eat out. No fuss, no mess.  I am going to clear out all the equipment I won't be using.   

This reminded me of an incident last year, or maybe it was 2019?  I was sitting in a coffee shop waiting for a friend, I couldn't help overhearing the group of ladies on the next table.  There was lots of sympathy for a lady who apparently had been widowed fairly recently.  All very sad and they were being lovely and supportive.  Suddenly said, "The one good thing is I don't have to cook, if I want a boiled egg for dinner that's OK."  There was a stunned silence which got longer and felt quite awkward until someone changed the subject.  I wasn't really sure if she had had enough of sympathy or was just thinking out loud but I did smile at her resilience. 

And really there's no need for me to eat broccoli........😂🤣.  I can get my fibre and vitamin c from much nicer sources.
This reminds me of one of my sons when he was about five.  One day he suddenly said for no particular reason, "I hate it when grown ups show off."  I said, "What sort of things do they show off about?"  He replied, "Oh you know, like when they pretend they like broccoli."  I had to try very hard not to laugh.  I love the things little ones say, their view of the world is so refreshing.

thepurplepixie

Floss said:

Candy, I'm saving the Pembrokeshire Murders till Friday night 😁

I'm watching it with grandson, we watched the first episode yesterday when he finished his school work.  It was accidental as I just decided to have a sit down and watch it and he came in and enjoyed it so we agreed to watch episode 2 today as last night it clashed with a football match he wanted to watch.  The only problem is he is a bit of a chatterbox so it is useful watching the catch up as I can replay bits I've missed.
I do think Keith Allen is very good as a baddie if that makes sense.  

helensbiggestfan

Pixie. Love your sons comment. Really funny.  Straight out of the mouths of babes.  

Re the conversation you overheard. That's exactly what I tried to do, I always try to think of the silver lining among the black clouds.  My silver lining was "not having to suffer endless sport on the TV, especially Match of the Day". 😂.  I have really only just realised that not having to cook is also a positive of living alone.  

I have decided I don't want to host Christmas next year.......I have to think of a way of tactfully broaching the subject.  I have done it for 37 years.....I think it's time to pass the Christmas baton onto the younger generation.  

Well I tried watching Mrs America, it has a great cast and the performances are faultless but I just didn't warm to it.  Not sure why.  I watched two episodes and then gave up. Perhaps I was in the wrong frame of mind.  Liked some of the clothes though.  

Miserable day here, I'm plucking up courage to head off into the loft. It will be chilly up there.  Tempted to procrastinate but swore not to.... Me and my blasted work ethic,   I'll only feel guilty if I don't.  

Think I overdid the walk yesterday. I'm a mass of aches and pains today, although it could be the rain.  I've taken a couple of Flarin and applied a heat patch to my lower back.  See if that helps, if not then maybe I'll leave the attic for today.  After all, discretion is the better part of valour, no  point in making matters worse. I won't call it defeat but rather regrouping.  😂🤣

Roll on summer.   🤣