The Best Is Yet To Come

slm6002

Well we've had a pretty good day here and are all worn out.  We had our outdoor cooking session at the local museum.  DS had a sleepover last night and not a lot of sleep so was a little quiet to begin with.  Only 2 of the families out of 4 or 5 turned up (us being one of them).  We cooked a Moroccan veg and chickpea stew type thing with couscous and flatbreads.  Most kids tried it but didn't like it much.  They ate the flatbreads and couscous though.  I liked it.  We did a bit of geocaching around the museum grounds and some den building (DS was wide awake by this point).  We were then sent home with a bundle of food for the week and some recipe cards.  I think we got extra meat and bits as the other families didn't show.  We quite liked the quiet of the group.  It has been a lovely sunny day and is only now getting dark with grey clouds.  I smell of campfires and garlic from the flatbreads and i would happily have a nap lol.

Need to transfer monies around - XH actually paid new rate of child maint without me having to chase him (quite shocked- obviously someone else is helping him).  Also need to put this months money into gov savings account.  Also need to sort dd for new telephone contract.  They messed around so many times they eventually said wait until all set up before trying again.  Got a call this morning saying i was late to pay.  Only had it a week lol

slm6002

Monies sorted for this month - well until old job wage and redundancy appears later this week and next.   

Electrician might not make it this week and next week isn't great for me as i have my Uncle here too so we are planning on a few days out.  Still waiting for him to confirm when he will come.  The calendar looks really busy and still not managed to fit several people in who would like to meet up.  I'm going to need a break after the holidays lol.  Today we are meeting with friends at the local park for an 'old fashioned picnic' as she called it.  She almost sounded a little embarrassed about it, but I told her its exactly what we were going to be doing too.  We have friends that will say they are having a picnic but everything has been shop bought and is prepacked such as ready made sandwiches from local supermarket.  I'm afraid my lot get basic bread with a basic filling lol.  We will take the ball and frisbee type games and hopefully the weather will remain nice.  DD1 is meeting her friends there too but will picnic with them instead, but I imagine she will soon join us.

After the holidays I have a few weeks before DD1 turns 16!  Not sure where that time went but need to get thinking on a present for her.  I was going to see if I could get her off road driving lessons but think XH will be doing this.  All she wants is an Ipad and a bedroom to herself.  Neither are very doable at the moment.

Right I better go and see what's in the fridge for a picnic

slm6002

Wow I have had a busy few weeks.  Feel like I've not stopped.  My Uncle went home yesterday after a week long visit.  We went to the beach, forest, cow farm, badminton and just general out and about.  Yesterday my sister arrived and we went to mini golf and later out for a lovely meal as the whole family.  We were invited to sisters for Christmas again (in their newly renovated house - hopefully finished by then).  It is by the sea and we always have a lovely time with them.  My only issue is the long drive which scares me a little, but I will do it.  The children are off out with XH today and I am looking forward to having no one in the house for just a little while.  The girls don't really want to go and DS is apparently only going because XH will treat him to anything he wants to outdo me - DS's words!  We have our surprise couple of days coming up this week - overnight stay in a Travelodge at the seaside.  I thought it was wed/thurs, but turns out its thurs/fri.  I had to cancel the carvery I had booked as I did it for the wrong day.  Wondering if it's worth just turning up on the day.  Not sure how busy it will be.  If all else fails there are 2 pizza places right next to where we will be staying.  I need to sort what I need to take for breakfast and lunches, although sure a mcdonalds might be close by for breakfast.  It's a holiday so no need for healthy eating right lol.

Money wise although it was a busy few weeks it was fairly cheap as always took food and drink with us and parking etc came out of holiday fund or Uncle wanted to pay.  I got my final pay (wages) from work but no holiday pay which I think I should have received.  I also got a small sum of money for redundancy pay.  No idea how it was worked out but about half what I think it should be.  I am going to wait for a breakdown of how it is worked out.  Either way at least I know what I have got.  I was also able to sign up for online wage slips for the new job so I can see what I was paid.  It all looks good and I finally have a pension.  I am not sure what % work put in but it looks a lot. As it wasn't based on my real hours I need to wait and see what the real figures are.  Not yet had a leaflet or any paperwork on the pension scheme, I just said yes please when asked if I would like to join in as something is better than the nothing I had at the time.  I need to look into personal pensions and see if my mortgage payments can go there instead as I wont be borrowing money for house now.

Electrician is coming tomorrow to complete the new fuse box, but we do still need to work on the date for the garage work as he is on a course for the rest of the week I believe.  It's my fault it wasn't done last week as I didn't want it happening when Uncle was here.  I did have a general builder come and look at putting in a downstairs toilet under the stairs, but was told it would be considered illegal as it would have to come out directly into kitchen or living room.  I have heard that it can go into kitchen which makes sense but never heard about it not being able to go directly into another room?  He did say he could still do it but if we ever sell it would need to be removed as it wouldn't pass survey. Anyway rethink there needed.  He also looked in the loft and said yes a room can go up there and ensuite.  It would be roughly 50k as an estimate.  He was keen to encourage me to this rather than splitting the large room into 2 to create 2 bedrooms (stud wall, new radiator, new light, extra window).  This would cost a few thousand at the most.  He seemed to think as girls get older they need more room and it would not be big enough as time goes on.  I know they are small rooms (2.7m by 2.2m ish) but 4 bed houses on market have rooms even smaller for their 4th room.  Also if we go down the loft extension route I need to find 50k, plus where the stairs would go would mean making the large room into 2, one for DD and the other half for stairs and hallway.  She wouldn't get a bigger bedroom than the other option.  So after a lot of thought we are splitting the girls room into 2.  If I need to sell and want the master room back I will undo the stud wall and maybe electrics to create one big room again.  I just need to find a builder who is willing to do the small job rather than trying to tell us it will be too small.  If I can get this done by Christmas it would be great.  All 3 will then have decorating done and have ideas for birthday and Christmas presents.  They will all have the same sized rooms as DS's is roughly the same size.  
I did have a thought about the toilet, maybe an extension on the front of the house (small one) to house a toilet and to add a bit more to our hallway might be the way to go.  There is plenty of room at the front of the house, but need to make sure next door would be ok with it.  It wouldn't block their light or anything I don't think, but will speak with them.  It may actually be a good idea and they could do the same thing their side.  Work in progress but might work.  I am determined to find somewhere downstairs for a toilet as this was one of the things I was wanting to stay where we are.

Sorry for such a long post - lots going on

LadyWithAPlan

Hi just read through your diary and wow you have had a lot going on!
Seems like you are facing everything head on no matter how hard and winning. 

Great news about your new job and that Moroccan dish sounds tasty.

I note in one or your posts you called yourself frumpy, can I implore you not to be so negative in your own self talk. Sorry to be so direct but it's not good for you. You are doing amazingly well in a difficult situation, recovering from divorce and most people put on pounds under life stress as well as the pandemic and lack of exercise. 

Love yourself and celebrate yourself more because you are doing the very best you can every day, we can all see that. 

slm6002

Thank you and well done for making it through my ramblings.  I do have days when I feel down but lately I do feel more positive.  Things certainly do feel like they have been full on for the past few years, but I am here to tell the tale still and the kids are doing really  well, so that's got to be a plus.  I do have issues with my weight, but I always have.  At the moment I am not in the right place as head full of everything else going on.  Hopefully once house is sorted and life is calmer (it will come I hope) I might feel better about loosing weight and starting to love my look as well.  I am happy with the rest of me (morals / character) if that makes sense.  I like to think I am a good person.

LadyWithAPlan

The great news is on your diary its clear that you have learnt that focus on the your budget goals and tracking (income and spending) is always ongoing and keeps you moving ever nearer to your desired positive future. 
You also now have the knowledge that small consistent actions lead to massive results.

All of which applies to weight loss and exercise just as it does with being MSE. So when you choose to focus on a weight loss goal you have all the tools already. You have built strong will power muscles. 

But I will say you can start today appreciating yourself, your hard work and all you do for family and friends. Have a great Sunday 

Honeysucklelou2

Glad you have been able to have some relaxing time with your uncle and sister. It’s good that you have been able to get some feedback on your ideas re the house. With the downstairs toilet, the issue may have been the toilet opening out into the kitchen. At uni, my friends and I rented a small terraced house and the toilet opened out into the kitchen but had double doors which we were told, satisfied building regs. Had it been a single door between the kitchen and the toilet it would have failed building regs. The rules may well have changed since then but I do remember having that double door anomaly! 

slm6002

Hi Honeysucklelou, yes that was the issue with the toilet opening to the kitchen.  Because of where it is, it is possible for the door to open into the living room instead, with a door also between the living room and kitchen.  The builder gave the impression that it couldn't open into the living room either, as well as saying do we really want to listen to people on the toilet at the same time as watching east enders.  I realise not ideal but it seemed the logical idea place without too much building work needed.

I have spoken to my neighbours and they don't have an issue with the idea of building an extension on the front for a small toilet and extension to the hall.  To be honest I think it would be a good idea for them too.  I just need to see if the waste pipe would be able to reach where it needs to as opposite ends of the house.  Guess tomorrow i will be calling an architect as i will need to get planning permission as well.

FtbDreaming

My brother lives in a new build. It’s only about 5 years old and they have a loo in the kitchen! Strange! 

You’re doing great with all the plans. I also want to split the master bedroom into 2 smaller rooms for the kids but DP just point blank won’t have it. He says we need a loft conversion but I don’t know where that’s coming from on a nurses salary already stretched to support a family of 5 🤦🏼‍♀️

Hope you’ve had a nice chilled child free day x

slm6002

It is annoying that I had the idea of splitting the big room years ago and the girls could have had their own rooms years ago if XH hadn't disagreed with me lol.  Thankfully the house is all mine now and I can do what I like even if everyone else in the family keeps butting in.  They all agree 50k is out of reach and expensive, yet half say they should share (they don't live with their constant fighting) and the other half seem to want me to magic up extra space from somewhere.  I am going to split it and keep fingers crossed the workings out we have done are correct lol.  I think I will keep quiet and let them visit and discover what I have done, by which point it will be too late by then lol