The Best Is Yet To Come

debtfreewannabe321

Ooo good luck with job hunting slm, hope DD is okay was it an anxiety attack? 

slm6002

Thank you DFW, 2 jobs that I thought I liked the look of have been applied for.  Still not sure if I want to go, as maybe they can put some things in place but in the end they are taking my favourite bits away from me.  Maybe they have a bigger plan for me, but if they do they need to tell me before I go.

DD1 has panic attacks but normally she just feels dizzy and faint but heart is racing, this seemed different.  As she was bent over the bonnet of the car in pain she told pharmacist that this was not a panic attack as she knows what they are like lol.  It still could have been but if so we need to see if there is anything we can do for them as she cant have that each time.  She was still in her work uniform which looks very much like a paramedics uniform.  The pharmacist kept talking to her in medical jargon which she loves and didn't feel like she was a child (even though she made mummy come with her to the appointment!).  She plans on keeping the uniform for future trips to medical centres as it seems to get you a better service lol.

Meeting a friend for a little lunch and walk around some shops later.  As we are both busy we don't get to meet up a lot, so will have a lot to talk about that is for sure.  I will be on the look out for birthday and Christmas bits.

Before that though I need to read through the maintenance loan paperwork and find an envelope to send it off, visit the post office, clean out the fridge and then do the food shop.  Will drop DD2 off at the gym while shopping and then pick her up after.  Also have a pile of washing that needs doing so must get going.

slm6002

Caught up with my friend and the only things I came home with were the 2 free items from lidl.  I have taken photos of a few items that might work for birthdays but will look elsewhere first.

I dropped DD2 off at the gym earlier and then popped into work.  Saw line manager and had another cry but at least they are fully aware of I feel, and were grateful that I discussed it with them.  They are going to do what they can do to help and I will hopefully be going in next week to sort my new desk out (depending if we can get in there).

I then went to lidl but only for a few items to get through tonights dinner.  Collected DD2 and came home in time to meet friend.  I couldn't post the maintenance loan as DD1 had missed one of the signatures off, but will put it in the post tomorrow.

I need to water next doors garden and get their bins in, but then I plan to get pjs on and snuggle under blanket watching some tv, before an early night.

slm6002

Happy news today is that DS has passed his GCSE English with a grade 5.  No more English lessons for him - yay.  We were so shocked and didn't quite believe it after all of the mistakes the school had made when he took it, and he thought he was expecting a grade 2 fail, so yay. 

Hopefully this is the start of the good news and more will follow soon

slm6002

After the failed attempt of my clothes shopping the other day, I today received my order that I had previously ordered.  Turns out this batch of clothes is less granny like and more they type of clothes that I normally buy.  So a few new tops and a new jumper which is so so soft.  There are still a few bits to send back but that should be all I need for a while, although a new pair of jeans are needed.

I did some food shopping although only a few days worth.  I still need to make some meals for the freezer for next month, but that will have to wait until next week I think.  

No spends planned for the next few days thankfully

slm6002

After reading another diary I have realised that I have been paid as Monday is a bank holiday.  So I have moved money around and into the correct pots.  Things are looking ok at the moment and providing nothing silly happens we will be ok.  I would like to be able to save some money for the legal fees money for the house move, when that happens.  So I have renamed one of the accounts 'moving house' and will put some money in there each month and if any spare money comes about it can go in there too.  It is only a small amount but if it gives me a little more wiggle room then it is a good thing.

Still no interest in our house but I am told things should start to pick up in Sept so fingers crossed.  I did get hopeful as someone walked by and stopped to have a good look yesterday.  Was hoping to get a call today and then have a mad cleaning session.  No such call as yet.  I did call one of the cash buying house companies just to see but they offered too low for what we need but at least I know and it wasn't really that unexpected.  If the other house is reduced then maybe it would work?

slm6002

Broken record warning - please feel free to bypass my diary for a while as I am just going round in circles.

Finding it really difficult to see the positive in anything at the moment.  Spoke to my agent today and realistically unless we drop by about 20 - 30k we are unlikely to get anyone want to come and look.  If we sell at that price we will be going backwards in what we can afford and giving it away.  And unless every other house also drops their value (as we are similar to those in our price range) it will not work.  Therefore we may as well stay here, but I really do not want to be in this house anymore.  The agent commented that the yellow lines out the front may put people off, but we have parking behind unlike the ones selling down the road, who have to fight each day to park.  This is shown on the details but I guess people see the road name and bypass it.

I have to keep going to have any hope of moving, but as I am unable to reduce it by that amount is there really much point.  4 families are offering on the one we would like but no one has sold, so as soon as they do that will go,

The children have barely come out of their rooms today and when I ask them to do something simple they grunt, ignore me and run back.  Barely spoken to anyone, even the cats have stayed away. 

Then I think maybe getting back to work will help as Sept is always my New Year rather than Jan 1st, and realising no actually that wont help at all as I am grumpy about that too.

Am meeting friend on Wed, maybe its the lack of seeing her that hasn't helped.  Sorry hopefully before long things will be more upbeat and positive.

dawnybabes

Aww hope you feel more upbeat tomorrow x

debtfreewannabe321

Firstly congratulations 👏🏻 🎉 to DS on the English results that's fantastic getting a 5!

And I hear you on the broken record, I feel like one too right now for different reasons. It's okay to have a rant and moan ...are there other villages close to where your dad lives that might be cheaper? Or on the outskirts? I don't think your children are anywhere near moving out so you'd be silly to wait a while until one goes and you could possibly downsize. Have you considered an auction property? Although they don't seem to be as good a deal as they used to be I do see them listed cheaper than EA prices. Hmmm can't think of any more plan Bs....but I'm sure you will sell when the right house is there for you 🤞🏻❤️.

slm6002

Thank you to you both for the kind words.  I am still in a bit of a slump but not crying at the drop of a hat today. DS is off at work, DD1 visiting friends today and DD2 is right next to me but on her phone dressed as if it is snowing outside.  Think she has gone back to sleep.  I have the radio on playing some good music and will try to be positive today even if it is still not coming very easy.

With the house the villages around here are all pretty similar in prices and there are a few but the children would like to live in Dad's village as it has a train station which will still allow them to go places and to keep some independence.  There is a nice house at the other end of our current town but the train station is a long walk away compared to where we are now and they don't want to live on that estate.  I did say that on the odd occasion that they use it I can possibly drop them off or collect them, or they can bike there.  Exactly how much influence I give the kids on where we live will depend on if we ever sell.  There may not be a choice.

On paper our house is almost what we need.  I don't want to live here as this is the house where my marriage failed, and everyone around knows this.  It is stupid to look at it this was and I have tried to think of it as where I raised 3 lovely children alone but I feel stuck in the past here even after changing the look of it as much as I can.  We also need more parking since the house out the back was built and took our old parking away from us.  Just want a new start where no one knows us and our past, but that seems to be a long way off as yet.

Having burgers for dinner as easy and already had some in the freezer.  I did stop off at lidl on the way home to get some rolls and a pack of biscuits and some ice cream, because why not.

Going to cut the grass shortly to get out in the fresh air for a bit.  Next door get home today and I think I kept their plants alive while they were gone.