The Best Is Yet To Come

debtfreewannabe321

slm6002 said:

Welcome back @debtfreewannabe321, life certainly takes us on many ups and downs doesn't it. Lovely to see you back.  I'm still rambling on about nothing really lol its very much like therapy for me.

I'm nearly half way through your diary now! It is like therapy and I think I missed having a rant on here about things lol. One thing I notice is a lot of us that were in the DFW diaries had EXH's that really hindered our progress, it's no wonder we needed MSE. Mine used to fritter money on women (never me though), alcohol, gambling and lord knows what else and he's still always looking to reduce CM payments as he doesn't have enough to pay me!!! He's pretty high up in the army now compared to when we were married and I know for a fact earns close to 50k and still doesn't have any spare....HOW! So glad I kicked him out and told him to beggar off to his girlfriend's house LOL. (She didn't want him in the end either)....one thing I haven't got to in your diary yet is whether your EXH got his karma, mine did in a pretty awful way and as much as I wanted him to suffer I actually felt sorry for him when it all came about. Anyway I will read through it all, it's good to catch up on old dfw buddies on here  

slm6002

Wow half way through already.  Spoiler alert, I am still waiting for karma but I hope it will be worth the wait.  Today at work we had afterschool training.  A lady came in from a womens refuge and was talking about all of the forms of domestic abuse.  It is sad that at the time I didn't realise what he was doing to me, but so many of the things she said made me think 'oh yes he did that', and 'yes we were always walking on eggshells'.  Better off without him in so many ways.

In money news today I received some supermarket vouchers for the upcoming holidays (half term and easter, all in 1 this time).  They always come in very handy and I will try to split them up to save some of it for Easter.

Tomorrow is pancake day.  I have some toastable pancakes for breakfast and then regular pancakes for later on after school.  Then for Wed (valentines day) I have some heart shaped pasta that I bought last year in the sale.  Feel like I havent really made much of an effort on special days lately, so on a mission to get some family time in.

debtfreewannabe321

Well I made it to here...!Your diary reads much like mine would have done if I were still posting....DIY diary  
I bought a do-er upper with ExH and we split up before we had really done any of the house. I did what I could on a low income by myself, and when I met current DP the second time he visited my house he fitted me a bathroom door handle- I had been without one for like four years at that point haha. And by four months in he had moved in (thanks to lockdowns) and we did the house up over lockdowns. It was non stop DIY and social distance queuing at diy shops for months. Then we sold up to get exh off that mortgage and bought another do-er upper. We spent an entire 18 months NON stop doing it all up. It was exhausting. But so glad it is all done and I get to enjoy it for a little while (until we can move again and probably start all over on the DIY anyone would think I enjoy it).
I am making pancakes for lunch today if DD ever stirs from her room....have a lovely day

debtfreewannabe321

oh! And I don't think I missed it anywhere that you have already done this, but I saw you were thinking of painting your internal windows from brown to white. I did this at the new house we are in now. I had the glazier come and repair any blown glass and then I set about cleaning, sanding and painting them. I tried three different brands. One which is a pretty well talked about chalk paint brand beginning with F ending in chic. It was okay. I tried a brand from @ mazon. Again OKay. And my favourite one is actually a Ron seal one... designed for upvc windows. It has a slight sheen to it and is easy to clean, and I feel it looks professional - more so than the F chic one. Since doing my internal windows, I spent ALL of last summer up a ladder doing my external ones too! Happy to send a pic privately if you want to see the difference. But it's gone from dull old dark brown to a nice and bright and light in every room!

slm6002

Ooh yes please @debtfreewannabe321 a picture or 2 would be great.  To be honest I had forgotten about it and had just come to the conclusion that the windows would remain brown forever.

Last day before half term today, plus it is only a half day.  Might meet a friend for a drink in the afternoon and then we are having shop bought pizza for dinner before DD1 goes out for the night to another 18th bday party.  She doesn't even like the person that much.  I guess another late night waiting for her to return.

Yesterday the order for the rest of the bathroom was made (apart from the actual shower) and will be delivered on Monday (same day as the tiles, so only one day I am stuck at home waiting for delivery vans).  Really need the bed gone so there is room to put it all.  Ask a few other charity shops this week if they take beds but they all said not at the moment.  I am wondering if the bed bug situation in the news recently has caused them to be a little wary of taking beds.  It is too good to bin, but I cant keep it in the garage much longer.

Right I must get going as need to collect olio on the way to work - potatoes and blueberry muffins

LadyWithAPlan

Loving all the karma chat on here  

Daisaku Ikeda  says if you want to look at your past karma look at your life now, if you want to look at your future karma look at what you are doing now - how we behave, our responses, our environment, our relationships all relate to how we behave daily - and our daily habits from kindness to being sensible with money  build our future too .. and who is in it . 
Plus really only very unhappy people behave awfully to others.  
obviously both the ex’s don’t have you or a mse lifestyle .. 
(practising Buddhist here so we study lots about karma  

I would love a new mattress but I’m saving so -  hope you are loving yours! What brand did you go for ? 

slm6002

@LadyWithAPlan If you are close by I have a spare mattress in the garage lol.  I went with an Emma one as recommended by my mum.  Not 100% sure as yet as it is quite soft.  I think my body is getting used to it now though, but still ache some mornings.

Well school is now done and the week is ours, even if most mornings will be early ones.  It has seemed a long term and everyone was ready for home.

Got a call from safeguarding from DS's school as he didn't seem happy or want to interact with anyone today.  I know he is not happy today but as yet I do not know why.  I got him talking but he hasnt let me know the problem as yet.  He did say that since 1st break 10 teachers have tried to ask him what was wrong, and they then got the silent treatment from him.  I will give him space yet keep an eye on him.  That is 2 safeguarding calls in 2 weeks from 2 different schools.

slm6002

Well its the first day of the holidays and I'm the only person awake.  DD1 left late for work even having woken her.  Too much burning the candle at both ends I feel.  I have already sent an online birthday card to Mum's other half and am now sitting here looking at the mess everywhere.  I think today will be a clearing up type of day.

Jobs other than cleaning today / tomorrow:

Buy rolls for dinner - pulled pork
Get bday bits ready for brother to take to mum next week
Sort DS premium bond access
Find someone to collect bed - most important for today.  I have already tried a few places but only 1 so far can collect and not until the week after half term in the morning, when I am obviously working.
Persuade kids to do homework this weekend so it doesn't drag on.

Ok that is probably enough.  

slm6002

Enquired to a few more furniture charities and waiting on calls back, although one of them let me choose Monday online as my 1st choice of collection days, but then said someone will be in touch within 5 days.  So not sure it will happen.  It also mentioned that they can take other items if mentioned on the phone call.  That would save me taking them local town myself later this week.

We also have a solid oak table that I bought when I moved here.  It is too big for the kitchen now it has been rearranged, but it needs doing up.  18+ years of children's grime and then the cats scratching away and putting in the garage for some time.  I think I may let DD1 and DS sand it down, clean it up and sell it when they have finished their exams.  We can then split the profit 3 ways.  It might get DS out of his room and in the fresh air.

I have also just claimed a £25 voucher from the post survey I have been doing.  I am about to go on a rest period so glad I had enough points to claim before things stopped.  I've also been doing a few surveys as I have neglected them recently.  I am close to my £10 withdrawal amount so maybe by the end of the day.  I have left over stew from the other night for lunch as I forgot about it until it was too late.

debtfreewannabe321

I will see if I can send the pics via messages! How old is your DS? My DS is 14 and he's a constant worry right now. However I remember my DS1 being the same way , puberty seemed to be really tough on him for a few years. I am hoping my DS2 is just going through the same and will come out the other side eventually.
@LadyWithAPlan my ex was the opposite of MSE gambler, drinker, like women and spent all his money on them rather than me and his kids....I am glad to be shot of him. Good luck to anyone else that attempts to take that on. If I tried to save money he would purposely tell me he needed the exact amount I saved for some harebrained scheme or expenditure and I apparently had no say as I was not the main earner. Good riddance   I practice meditation perhaps not Buddhism, but a Buddhist meditation- Metta, loving kindness. I sent my ExH loving kindness for years after we broke up, which seems odd, but it actually really helped me to remain non homicidal and on an even keel when it came to handing children over to him every other weekend. I am sure he was kinder to me too in return....when DP came along though a green eyed monster overtook him and no amount of loving kindness helped