Mumof3.12kindebt .. dfw again ! - 15 dec 2020

missymoo81

You’re such an inspiration @mumof3.12kindebt

And ouch @mumtoomany I hope you’re ok xx

mumtoomany

Yes, fine now thank you, mumtoomany.xx

mumof3.12kindebt

Evening my beautiful diary friends ❤️ 

Hope you are all well. 

@mumtoomany ouch. Hope you are okay. Sending gentle hugs 🫂  


@missymoo81 thankyou. I don't see my self as an inspiration but I'll take the compliment 😁 I do hope that people who are in the situation I was once in are inspired by my story. I hope it gives them hope for the future. At 16 cradling a newborn what I have now was just a dream, and yet I continue to try and improve our life. It's it funny that in someways sometimes what we have isn't enough and we continue to try and do better. For me it's not about what I have materialistic wise more that I aim for some financial freedom. I'd like to get to a point where I'm no longer killing myself working for someone else, for poor pay and no other benifits than what the law says they have to give ie pension. 

At the moment I work In a job where some shift I'm on care and so I get paid minimum wage, and other shifts I'm in charge so I get £1 extra on top of minimum wage an hour. I pay into my pension and my employer pays the minimum the law says he has to pay. If I'm sick I get ssp. So no extra benefits really. 

We are in a situation where we have a disabled child . He has complex neurodevelopmental needs (asd, adhd) as well as other health needs physically including hearing loss and delayed bone growth throughout his whole body. So we are currently very fortunate to get a small amount of dla for him. Its up for renewal next year and I'm praying his entitlement will stay the same. 

I also get pip due to a physical disability and mental health illness. 

And we get child benifit. My partner gets carers allowance the £60 a week thing. He works from home self employed as of a few months ago as of yet he hasnt made a profit due to how the payouts work. But it works for us because it means he is available for ds2 appointments if he needs picking up from school early etc, and also there is no one in the area that is able to look after him before and after school so although its not ideal we make it work. we  also get child tax credits and working tax credits..


Today we had our renewal for tax credits come through and because I earnt around £5k more last year than the year before its been cut by £300 a month. 

I have already adjusted our budget spreadsheet accordingly. It's a lot of money to loose. But I'm greatful for the support we receive as a 'low income family'  

I'm just relieved that hopefully from July we will have no debt payments to make otherwise I think we would really be struggling to get by. 

But like I said I am extremely greatful that we live in a country that assists families like ours. 
In an ideal world we would both work full time. But unfortunately I'm not physically able to do that, I work as much as I can. I couldn't do more than I'm currently doing. And because sometimes my cp causes weakness it works out better for us for DP to be the one more available for ds2 . Carrying a 8 year old who is short but bulky 🤣🙈 when they stop in the middle of a road, refuse to get out the car, want to run in the other direction or just have a melt down in the street  is no easy task, I'm telling you 🤣🤣🤣

Once the debt is paid we will continue to live a 'frugal' life. Because I don't want to end up back in debt so we will just continue as we are. Cut back where we can to save for what is important to us as a family. And save for house repairs 🙈 we wouldn't of needed to take the loan out in the first place if the roof didn't leak soon after moving in 🙈 but now we are homeowners repairs are something we have to budget for. 


In other news  

As a rare treat we went to soft play this afternoon. £51 spent in total. But I have no regrets. We don't do these things very often. Sk when we do it really is a treat. 


My legs haven't been good this week. I've spent the week feeling really fatigued and in considerable pain. So I'm back on my strong pain relief. 

I have an echocardiogram next week after a 12 lead ecg picked up 2 things wrong with my heart. One being a valve and the other being one of the chambers. So the scan we prove if the ecg was correct or not. I also have an appointment with the respitory consultant due to having ongoing issues since having covid at the beginning of last year (caught it from work).

I'm still slowly working on the house with the families help. Most of the time it's me sitting down shuffling about to do stuff. And that's okay 👍 I'm use to adapting to be able to do stuff. Like using the lift at work all the time. Praying 🙏 (especially  when I'm in charge) that the lift doesn't break on me. Last thing the team need is me stuck inside 🤣🤣🤣🙈


I hope I've managed to create a clearer picture for you all.  like I said I'm truly greatful for the additional support we receive. We wouldn't be able to survive without it. 

But I'm also really proud of how well we do considering our family situation ❤️


I really hope to start investing in property in the next 5 years. I also hope to be in a better paid job once I've completed my level 4 diploma or I will use it to apply for a social worker degree possibly. I'm not sure yet. But I'm still striving for a better life for us all. 

It's like they say

"it's not whats happened that defines you, 
It's how you deal with it" 

And I think we do okay ❤️

Anyway I hope everyone is well. 


Love hugs positivity and prayers to you all ❤️

mumtoomany

You put yourself down @mumof3.12kindebt. You do so much better than OK. You do amazingly well. So many in your position would give up and live totally on benefits, not bother working. But you rally on and are provided your family with a house of your own and a good life. Well done! Keep up the good work, hugs, mumtoomany.xxx P.S. I'm fine now thank you.

mumof3.12kindebt

@mumtoomany you're very kind. I think we are as humans too hard on ourselves sometimes. 

I posted on my Instagram my 10 year plan so I thought I would post it here too..

2022 

become debt free apart from mortgage 

Overpay mortgage on our house 

2022-2027 

overpay mortgage on our house 

save up deposit for first rental property 

Try to get a job as a deputy manager or similar 

Complete level 5 nvq 

Start degree in social Work / child protection 

Apply for adoption ? 

Pay maximum into life time isa for retirement 

Cut mortgage on own home to 20/25 years

2027 -2030

buy a property to rent out 

Overpay rental mortgage 

Look into buying shares in the area I work in / or setting up / buying a company in my field 

2030 - 2032

clear mortgage on property two 

Save up deposit for property three 

Apply for jobs that use my chosen degree 

2032 

buy second rental property 

Do a masters degree 

Work my way up in my chosen field 

In 2032 we will be turning 40! 

I'd like to retire from working for others by the time I'm 50. 

I think it's good to have goals to work towards, and these are what I'll be working towards over the next few years. 

I'm determined to make it happen. But we never know what is round the corner so who knows if it will actually play out this way 🤔 🤞

Pollie

If anyone can do it, you can.

mumof3.12kindebt

Thankyou @Pollie hope you are well. 


Today we did a trip to the recycling centre. I refuse to pay for a skip. 🙈

DP has took the two little ones to our friends for a play date. 
I gave eldest a couple of quid to treat himself to an icecream. Only spend today. 😀 

Next week is a 2 day working week due to some annual leave ... 🥳🥳

I'm currently Battling the house and it's organised chaos 


Tomorrow we are going to the bank and paying in the money we saved in a tin which originally was going to be for a trip to Disneyland (before we took out the loan not long after moving in)  but we are going to use it to pay off the loan. And spending money for our holiday at the end of the month. Then once we have paid off the housing association I'll start saving for Disneyland Paris again next year. The kids are older now too so by the time we go they will be old enough to remember it ❤️


I'm doing my research into property investment to make sure its the route I want to go down. And weighing up the different routes we could go with it. I'm hoping we can get us too a point where I can quit my day job when I'm around 50 if not before. That's the aim anyway. 

I have to plan for my future and my kids. More so than most because of my cerebral palsy. Even now I can't do things I could do 5 years ago. So the Likely hood I'll be able to work a day job in the next 10 years is, when being honest and realistic unlikely. I'm already technically part time (28 hours one week/21 hours the next, and so on) . So I need to have a plan in place , an a alternative income source. Because I point blank refuse to have the government fully support me.

Anyway hopefully by the end of this month the loan will be fully paid off. And that will just leave our housing association debt that i should if we are extremely careful and complete tight wads I'll be able to clear by July. Seeing in my 30th birthday debt free. That's the plan anyway ❤️❤️🥳

mumtoomany

Sounds like a great plan. Apply for adoption? I'll adopt you, you are in the middle of the ages of my children, just worried that you, or we, might be too old. Haha.
Regarding disneyland. DD3 went earlier this year with her friend. They went by coach and got a really good deal. She loved it, but said she's glad she didn't go when she was younger, not that we would have taken her, as she's appreciated it so much more now, and many of the rides she would have been under the height limit for. Hugs, mumtoomany.xx

mumof3.12kindebt

@mumtoomany ah bless you you can unofficially adopt me if you like. ❤️ I have a friend who has a son my age and she's like a mum to me. I don't have a relationship with my mum Haven't done for 13/14 years so she's became My mother Figure bless her ❤️

Ah yes so when me and DP met 6 years ago (7 years in November) we actually spoke about adoption before we spoke about having our own. After I had ds2 at 21 the consultant said it was because I was young and not to pin my hopes on being able to have more children. Quite soon into our relationship we decided we would just not prevent it and see what happens. Bare in mind ds1 was completely not planned a multiple contraception fail baby. And ds2 me and his dad stopped using contraception and after just 1 month we got our bfp . With me and DP it was 6 months and I said that's it I'm not trying anymore. It wasn't long but it felt like a lifetime. And low and behold 3 weeks later we got a bfp. When dd was 6 months old we decided we were not going to have anymore biologically but our family wasn't complete. And decided we would go down the adoption route. Hence why we brought a house with a spare bedroom 😀.. but due to my health other than doing research we haven't got any further. At the moment we are waiting for me to see the neurologist to see what is causing me to have flare ups of intense pain and fatigue, and I'm having investigations for my heart. Once we know what we are dealing with and can deal with it properly and get my health back to a good place we will start the process. 
I've sold all the stuff from when the kids were younger from fear of not being accepted 🙃  
So we will see what happens. But if the truth be told it was one of my 'why' reasons to get out of debt . And get on the property ladder. 
We are fortunate we have gone from overcrowded to having a spare room. And hopefully one day we may be blessed with an adoptee baby or child ❤️🙏

mumof3.12kindebt

ETA 

We had considered long term fostering but due to ds2 asd they suggested we consider the adoption route. Also I can't get round the idea of being in a child's life and then having to say goodbye. 

We have said we may consider fostering again once the children are grown up and flew our nest ❤️❤️


Ds1 and ds2 have the same dad. I was with him 8 years from the age of 14-22 ❤️ I have no regrets, I came away from the relationship with wisdom that most wouldn't experience in a life time. It gave me the strength to realise the women I was and I continue to be. It wasn't what I wanted. It certainly wasn't what I planned for my life. I thought we would be together forever childhood sweethearts but my life had a different path for me. And you know what I'm completely okay with that. It gave me strength I didn't know I had and lessons learnt that I needed but didn't know I did.  I don't have any regrets, because I know I was faithful even though he wasn't. Two wrongs don't make it right. And so I stayed faithful. But one day out of everyone in my life that could of caught him it was my dad. I knew the previous lies, and decite.but you try telling someone a friend say you and they will tell you the friend it lying. Tell them it's your father and they know they are gonna be walking out the door, with it hitting them on the way out. In the end that was how I got out. Because of my dad. And I owe him more than I could ever repay him for being  in the right place at the right time that day. ❤️

A few days later I told him I no longer cared that he said he has no where to go. He was to leave..  and he did. I knew it wasnt the first time.. but god is the only one that knows how many times because to this day he has never told me 🤷‍♀️ He went back to his parents. Where he still is to this day. 

That day was the day, a weight that had been baring me down lifted from my shoulders. And the day I decided, I wanted better for me and my boys and rebuilt my life. That day made me the women and mother that I am today ❤️


Like I said

no regrets, just walked away with wisdom and strength ❤️