Noisey neighbours, friendly advice on what to do.

Zoe1345

Hannimal said:

Zoe1345 said:

As I've outlined though, this was not a post to get people to say how terrible they are but for people to help us find a next step solution now that we have exhausted all the rest. For the back, our neighbours are good people, with very annoying life style habits, living in a poorly constructed terrace house, and no desire to consider the neighbours... its a !!!!!! situation for all, and its effecting my health (and unlikely theirs) but I fully support their right to shower. *Showers for everyone!* 

While I do agree that your neighbours' habits are a bit annoying being so late at night, it doesn't sound to me like they are doing anything unreasonable. So I am not sure there is much you can do if they want to keep trotting at night. 

Agreed - if they aren't willing to heed friendly requests, and be a tad more considerate to others, there is, in fact, nothing we can do. No arguing that fact. Our predicament, if you will, is how we approach the process of selling, and how much more we "discuss" this with the neighbours in light of a sale in 12 months. How much do we keep bugging them for bugging us, in essence (which we would apparently be completely reasonable in doing as long as they are the sounds of "everyday life" - at 2am ). 

Crashy_Time

Aranyani said:

Perhaps you should start sleeping in a room that doesn’t connect to their bathroom? 

Maybe make your laundry room/workshop a room that does connect to their bedroom, all the better for those productive early mornings......

KxMx

I totally understand why you've been put off terraced housing now, ours was however built in the 1970s

Zoe1345

Crashy_Time said:

Aranyani said:

Perhaps you should start sleeping in a room that doesn’t connect to their bathroom? 

Maybe make your laundry room/workshop a room that does connect to their bedroom, all the better for those productive early mornings......

Oh if only! 

Zoe1345

KxMx said:

I totally understand why you've been put off terraced housing now, ours was however built in the 1970s

It seems you got one of the "good ones"! Admittedly, my brother lives in a 1960s terrace and has no problem. 2 little kids and the neighbours say they can barely hear them at all. So really, its just my bad experience, and my particular terrace. (and there was me convinced when we bought that being a staggered terrace we'd get a little less noise! So wrong!)

Norman_Castle

Hannimal said:

Zoe1345 said:

@Hannimal You sound like you had a beyond reasonable previous neighbour. A bit like we might do?

I thought beyond reasonable meant very reasonable. I hope I am misunderstanding this. Either way, it sounds like all this is just a part and parcel of having neighbours and hearing sounds of life. I understand it can be annoying when the sounds of life are disrupting sleep, but I don't think it's reasonable to think people shouldn't shower before bed or that cats should halt their olympics.

Beyond reasonable as in beyond being reasoned with, they've had enough.

Until you've lived with neighbours waking you repeatedly with noise that could easily be avoided you won't understand. Everyone in an attached property will hear their neighbours to a degree, that doesn't excuse thoughtless behaviour and the resultant noise.

Most people can judge the difference between the "sounds of life" and excessive noise.

Norman_Castle

Hannimal said:

Zoe1345 said:

As I've outlined though, this was not a post to get people to say how terrible they are but for people to help us find a next step solution now that we have exhausted all the rest. For the back, our neighbours are good people, with very annoying life style habits, living in a poorly constructed terrace house, and no desire to consider the neighbours... its a !!!!!! situation for all, and its effecting my health (and unlikely theirs) but I fully support their right to shower. *Showers for everyone!* 

  It's hard because this is the situation I had with my old neighbours as well - due to poor construction of the building and due to the flat being split in two at some point, we shared floor boards and you could literally hear everything from their flat to our and, I think, vice versa.

According to the OP the neighbours never hear them and they don't hear their other neighbours, its not the same.

Aranyani

Zoe1345 said:

Aranyani said:

Perhaps you should start sleeping in a room that doesn’t connect to their bathroom? 

Yes, I would, if there were one big enough for our bed. Alas we dont have the luxury of 2+ double bedrooms. Pretty certain for most people this would be the first thing they'd consider! Even so, the sound reverberates through that entire side of the house, so unless I wanted to sleep on our staircase or in our bathroom then it would be difficult...

I'm sorry to have upset you so much with my suggestion! 

In my experience terraced houses generally have good room sizes, 2 big square rooms downstairs and 2 big square rooms upstairs, with one slightly smaller due to an added bathroom.  Is yours not of this design?  Even if the smaller bedroom isn't really a proper double if it just fits the bed you could still sleep in it and have your wardrobes and so on still in the big room.  Even if the sound carries there too it wouldn't be as bad?

I'd be curious to know what you moving around and your activities of living sound like to them.  With such poor soundproofing they must hear you too sometimes.  Have you ever invited one of them to come over and listen to what the running shower sounds like from your side of the wall?  What sort of hours do they work?

Aranyani

Zoe1345 said:

MovingForwards said:

I feel for you. My last rental was a living hell between the screaming banshee next door and the banging / crashing party animals above and below, made worse by lockdown when they were either on furlough or lost their jobs. I was working from home, neighbours carried on only with longer hours. My average sleep was 30 - 90 minutes generally from 5 or 6am, before trying to do a full day again.

My out was knowing I had my purchase going through, which kept me going until everything went on hold for a bit and losing that bit of hope broke me, my body gave up.

The neighbours always denied everything and said it wasn't them.

Can you bring your plans forward and move sooner? Or focus on knowing you've an out.

Thanks. That sounds horrendous. I think I'm averaging about 90-120 mins. By the time I get to sleep following the noise stopping at 3am, its generally about 4:30 (I'm so over tired by then that it takes a while) and then I'm up at 6 for work. My migraines (which it thought I'd kicked) have returned, I'm dependant on caffeine which has a huge effect on my gut, 

Kick the caffeine immediately, that will just be exacerbating your problems sleeping. 

Aranyani

trex227 said:

pmlindyloo said:

I do think that there is a big difference between neighbours being noisy on the odd occasion and this being their lifestyle.  The latter is so much more difficult to deal with as, in effect, you are asking them to completely change their whole way of living.
Having said that I would like to suggest that the late night noise on a daily basis is just not acceptable.
You say they are a lovely family and you do not wish to fall out with them.
So, what about writing to them in a friendly way saying that you appreciate that they have a different living style to them but the noise after midnight is severely affecting you (give specific examples)
Also add what you have done to try to counter the noise - the sound proofing/ear plugs etc
Terrace houses can be a particular problem - mention this - and also add if any of your noise is affecting them to please let you know. 
Add that you hope that you can solve this amicably (a little veiled threat there) as you like them as neighbours but...................
Sometimes speaking to them face to face does not give you the opportunity to go through the exact problems and explain how they affect you as the neighbour will invariably interrupt before you can finish.  Also, tempers can get frayed.
It will take considerable skill to get the tone of the letter just right so I suggest you don't write it at 3am in the morning!
Good luck!

Great advice but if I were in Zoe1345’s position I would be a little hesitant to write a letter and “formalise” the dispute and so have to declare it when selling. 

She would already have to declare it when selling.  The question asks if you are aware of anything that could lead to a dispute, and she clearly is!