Noisey neighbours, friendly advice on what to do.

Gentoo365

Will you be declaring the noise issue when you sell? I am guessing not. 
Which I guess is the issue with these things. Nobody would declare a noise issue. At least not one that is 'annoying' rather than obviously unlawful. It's just one of the potential issues with shared walls. 
If it is any consolation, the human brain is very good at slowly getting used to noise it considers 'normal'.

barbiedoll

OP, I don't know why you keep going on about how lovely your neighbours are, they don't sound lovely, they're rude, ignorant and completely self-centred. You've been round to tell them that they're noisy, but they haven't done one single thing to appease you. Slamming doors late at night, and yelling and hollering when working people are normally expected to be sleeping, is just inconsiderate at best. Having been told, and not even making an effort, is simply anti-social, they're treating you like a pair of mugs.

Next time they start slamming doors, bang loudly on the wall and yell at them to shut the **** up. (Insert your own favourite expletive here!) If you can hear them, they will hear you, and it might just make them stop and realise just how loud they actually are. If you're woken by them at 3am, go and bang on their door, you need to let them know how it is actually affecting you. I know that teenagers can be loud, my neighbour had three of them, their family arguments were legendary in our street, but never at 1am. The mum was always apologising for the noise, but we can't honestly say that it kept us awake, or disturbed us in any way.

  It's no good, going round during the day to talk to them, you need to make it clear that the noise in the middle of the night is not acceptable. And the only way to so do, is to tell them. It's clearly driving you crazy now. It's not "normal", and you shouldn't have to put up with it!

Getting_greyer

Next time you hear early morning screaming go round and knock on the door.  If anyone but the lady of the house answers demand to have her present herself. "Hi, I heard screaming and banging and feared the worst, I was just about to call the police...your fine OK, good night". 
Do that everytime.  

TheProfessional

We have just moved from a Victorian mid terrace to a semi and I miss hearing the little bits of noise from nextdoor. The neighbours adjoining us now are silent, either that or the walls are very thick. 
We are very sensitive to the fact we have a baby who can cry at whatever time he likes so try to be as quiet as we can whilst also going about our daily business 

If it really is a bother I would sell up and move, life's too short 

[Deleted User]

I'm not being facetious here when I say move, either somewhere detached or somewhere with good sound proofing like @TheProfessional seems to have, detached would be better though I think.  I have been where you are, once as an owner occupier and twice as a tenant, you have my sympathies.  At 3am due to sleep deprivation I have had neighbours that at that moment in time I would happily have done time for after smashing their face repeatedly into their speakers.

Other posters are right, some people are just noisier than others and are completely oblivious as to the effect they have on others around them.  You can suggest what you like to your neighbours but they aren't going to change.  I myself have vowed to never purchase a property attached to the neighbours because if you get neighbours like yours then your home becomes a miserable and stressful place to be. 

Zoe1345

Aranyani said:

Zoe1345 said:

Aranyani said:

Perhaps you should start sleeping in a room that doesn’t connect to their bathroom? 

Yes, I would, if there were one big enough for our bed. Alas we dont have the luxury of 2+ double bedrooms. Pretty certain for most people this would be the first thing they'd consider! Even so, the sound reverberates through that entire side of the house, so unless I wanted to sleep on our staircase or in our bathroom then it would be difficult...

I'm sorry to have upset you so much with my suggestion! 

In my experience terraced houses generally have good room sizes, 2 big square rooms downstairs and 2 big square rooms upstairs, with one slightly smaller due to an added bathroom.  Is yours not of this design?  Even if the smaller bedroom isn't really a proper double if it just fits the bed you could still sleep in it and have your wardrobes and so on still in the big room.  Even if the sound carries there too it wouldn't be as bad?

I'd be curious to know what you moving around and your activities of living sound like to them.  With such poor soundproofing they must hear you too sometimes.  Have you ever invited one of them to come over and listen to what the running shower sounds like from your side of the wall?  What sort of hours do they work?

Not at all upset. Just baffled that you'd assume I may not have thought of this as an option, if it was. Terrace houses vary wildly in design and size - ever been in a 6 bed townhouse in bath, or a back to back up north? Wildly different doesn't even begin to cut it. We have 3 rooms. 1 room, is only just big enough for a small single. This is the only room on the other side of the house. I don't think myself and my 6ft husband will be fitting in there. The biggest room is the one we sleep in, the other is my husband's office, he runs a business from home. Both of these room side onto the vampire - elephant neighbours. 

I have infact (already outlined above) asked them what they hear of us. Several times, and they say they never hear us. Sure they've heard our DIY, and I'm certain they've heard my loud music when I turn it up to drown out thier arguments, all well before 11pm at night. But, beyond that nothing. I have asked them to not hesitate to come and tell us otherwise. Our neighbours the other side say they barely hear us on the stairs, or our TV in our living room, or infact our shower, situated against one of their bedrooms - yet again, we don't shower at 2am. 
There are 2 teenagers. Neither work (1 in school, 1 in uni). The parents both work 9-5s, currently from home. So no reasons there.

Zoe1345

Aranyani said:

trex227 said:

pmlindyloo said:

I do think that there is a big difference between neighbours being noisy on the odd occasion and this being their lifestyle.  The latter is so much more difficult to deal with as, in effect, you are asking them to completely change their whole way of living.
Having said that I would like to suggest that the late night noise on a daily basis is just not acceptable.
You say they are a lovely family and you do not wish to fall out with them.
So, what about writing to them in a friendly way saying that you appreciate that they have a different living style to them but the noise after midnight is severely affecting you (give specific examples)
Also add what you have done to try to counter the noise - the sound proofing/ear plugs etc
Terrace houses can be a particular problem - mention this - and also add if any of your noise is affecting them to please let you know. 
Add that you hope that you can solve this amicably (a little veiled threat there) as you like them as neighbours but...................
Sometimes speaking to them face to face does not give you the opportunity to go through the exact problems and explain how they affect you as the neighbour will invariably interrupt before you can finish.  Also, tempers can get frayed.
It will take considerable skill to get the tone of the letter just right so I suggest you don't write it at 3am in the morning!
Good luck!

Great advice but if I were in Zoe1345’s position I would be a little hesitant to write a letter and “formalise” the dispute and so have to declare it when selling. 

She would already have to declare it when selling.  The question asks if you are aware of anything that could lead to a dispute, and she clearly is! 

Well not necessarily. A buyer might be more tolerant of the noise, especially if noisy themselves. Noise tolerance is indeed highly subjective... (Explified by some of the comments in this thread!) 
We weren't told before buying. 

Zoe1345

barbiedoll said:

OP, I don't know why you keep going on about how lovely your neighbours are, they don't sound lovely, they're rude, ignorant and completely self-centred. You've been round to tell them that they're noisy, but they haven't done one single thing to appease you. Slamming doors late at night, and yelling and hollering when working people are normally expected to be sleeping, is just inconsiderate at best. Having been told, and not even making an effort, is simply anti-social, they're treating you like a pair of mugs.

Next time they start slamming doors, bang loudly on the wall and yell at them to shut the **** up. (Insert your own favourite expletive here!) If you can hear them, they will hear you, and it might just make them stop and realise just how loud they actually are. If you're woken by them at 3am, go and bang on their door, you need to let them know how it is actually affecting you. I know that teenagers can be loud, my neighbour had three of them, their family arguments were legendary in our street, but never at 1am. The mum was always apologising for the noise, but we can't honestly say that it kept us awake, or disturbed us in any way.

  It's no good, going round during the day to talk to them, you need to make it clear that the noise in the middle of the night is not acceptable. And the only way to so do, is to tell them. It's clearly driving you crazy now. It's not "normal", and you shouldn't have to put up with it!

I'm going to stand by the fact they are lovely people. They are. Even nice people can be ignorant and selfish. We aren't "mugs" , they, as others have said, are using their property in the way they want to. Think of us as walkovers if you must (although I'd challenge you to uphold that around my husband!). I grew up with parents with horrid, actual bad people as neighbours and made my parents life hell (nor just with noise). 

I'm not going to be banging on any walls shouting any profanity at them, because, as we've noted, we are looking to move in a year, and this could indeed cause a much more severe dispute. 

To clarify - We have nocked on the door at night. 

Zoe1345

Lover_of_Lycra said:

I'm not being facetious here when I say move, either somewhere detached or somewhere with good sound proofing like @TheProfessional seems to have, detached would be better though I think.  I have been where you are, once as an owner occupier and twice as a tenant, you have my sympathies.  At 3am due to sleep deprivation I have had neighbours that at that moment in time I would happily have done time for after smashing their face repeatedly into their speakers.

Other posters are right, some people are just noisier than others and are completely oblivious as to the effect they have on others around them.  You can suggest what you like to your neighbours but they aren't going to change.  I myself have vowed to never purchase a property attached to the neighbours because if you get neighbours like yours then your home becomes a miserable and stressful place to be. 

That's the plan. We can move away from London commute zone (hopefully) in a year due to my work contract ending. We're already looking and dreaming about what we might buy. Something detached, with only the sheep as neighbours! Perfect. 
It is indeed a stressful and miserable place to be right now. 

Scotbot

I well remember going to see friends who at the time had 4 kids under the age of 6,  the noise was IMO horrendous but the parents were completely oblivious. I guess they had just got used to it.  Noise is so subjective. I am very sensitive to it, once lived under the Heathrow flight path which drove me nuts but my neighbours were all used to it and not at all bothered. So your neighbours almost certainly hear you but it doesn't register.
There is not a lot you can do about noisy teenagers they are not the most reasonable of humans and from your posts it sounds like their parents are also fed up with them. If you decide not to move then you are going to have to come up with coping strategies. Don't stress about making noise first thing, play whatever music you like in the day time ( Verdi's Requiem is an excellent stress reliever and nothing can compete with a 60 piece orchestra at full tilt). You don't  need to be considerate of the vampire elephants as they won't notice you. Invest in white noise apps for bedtime, I like sounds of the ocean. If you work from home start an hour later and get an extra nights sleep. Then next time buy a house where the bedrooms don't  have shared walls