Noisey neighbours, friendly advice on what to do.

Zoe1345

MovingForwards said:

The caffeine won't help your head or tummy.
Can you move the bedroom downstairs and lounge upstairs. It's not ideal, but may make a slight difference.

I did end up very ill and had panic attacks going into the flat to do a little cleaning after moving out, I never returned after that one day. 

What I learned from that rental is how I didn't want a layout when looking for my own home, I also got an end building where the bedrooms are detached. Now if I don't sleep it's because my brain hasn't switched off and my health is slowly getting a little better having been in my own home 7 months.

Unfortunately there really isn't any scope for moving areas around with the house. 
Alas, I wish we had learnt this lesson in a rental, not in our first buy. We bought what we could afford (close proximity to London, and therefore only a terrace or flat was affordable). We certainly won't ever by buying a terrace again, and will be far more questioning with property layout next time.

The anxieties from sleep deprivation are undoubtedly increased at the prospect of selling, potentially at a loss, now. At least it has location going for it (although with WFH increasing, its proximity to the city will become less of a draw now I imagine). 

 I'm really sorry to hear about the panic attacks, but pleased to hear you health is getting better now you're in your new home. I hope it continues on the up! 

trex227 said:

Great advice but if I were in Zoe1345’s position I would be a little hesitant to write a letter and “formalise” the dispute and so have to declare it when selling. 
[...]
You have my sympathies Zoe1345. Is there no other room you could use to sleep in? Lounge/dining room? Not ideal but if you plan to move in the next year or so might be worth the inconvenience to get good sleep between now and then.

Yea, I've until now avoided the letter route for this very reason. If we were planning on staying for another 5 years for example, I might be more willing to make attempt at a more formal resolution - longer time to sort it out. I'm not sure a letter will have any more effect than talking, and as you say, it will formalise it, making it all the more imperative that we outline everything in detail on sale. 
As above, unfortunately no. Its a small terrace. 1 bedroom is virtually a cupboard and the other is my husbands office for work -  part of which also sides their bathroom anyway. The lounge is large, but we couldn't sleep in there as well as have out sofa, a extensive book collection full wall bookcases) and my office area (also now WFH part time for the foreseeable), and besides, as the sound echoes throughout that side of the house, it would offer little shelter from the noise. We've thought about all of this. and come up short all around. Maybe I'll try the shed.... 

Ramouth

I know this might odd, but have you considered offering to pay for the neighbours stairs and upper hallway to be carpeted / re-carpeted with a good underlay?  It would reduce the impact sound considerably and may also help to absorb some of the airborne sound.  If you are lucky and the doors open over the carpet they will be slowed by it and will not slam.  If not, some pads could be added to the door frames at the same time as suggested in a previous post.

While it seems strange to be spending money on someone else’s house it could make a big difference to your environment and it seems like you have done everything you can on your side.  Even if you sold yourself place tomorrow you would be there for several more months and it seems like it is having a major effect on you.

Suggesting this to your neighbour  is unlikely to be considered as a dispute.

theoretica

It may not help you, but I find when I need to sleep in a noisier place that it helps to play music very quietly on repeat. (One student room I played the same Elgar track at a whisper for months on end!)   It gives my brain something to latch onto and makes it easier to ignore other sounds.

Scotbot

Why not sell up after Xmas and rent again for the time being? Alternatively rent it out and rent yourselves.

Norman_Castle

Zoe1345 said:

 When I mentioned the noise to the mum previously, she blamed the kids (although I was actually asking if she would mind not shouting at them up the stairs at midnight) and outright told me "I can't wait for them to be gone"

How did you resist replying "neither can I"?

Hannimal

I had a neighbour like this (to be clear, like the OP). He complained to me about my cats running in the flat, about vacuuming (even though it was in the day time) and even DEMANDED me and my partner go to bed before 10am or at least avoid using the living room where the wall was adjacent to their bedroom. He admitted he always had problems with the tenants who lived in the flat we were renting and then he bullied us until we moved. Luckily we were renting so it was easy to leave.

Norman_Castle

Hannimal said:

I had a neighbour like this (to be clear, like the OP). He complained to me about my cats running in the flat, about vacuuming (even though it was in the day time) and even DEMANDED me and my partner go to bed before 10am or at least avoid using the living room where the wall was adjacent to their bedroom. He admitted he always had problems with the tenants who lived in the flat we were renting and then he bullied us until we moved. Luckily we were renting so it was easy to leave.

The OPs complaints sound entirely reasonable unlike your previous neighbour who sounds beyond reasonable making your prior neighbour nothing like the OP.

Zoe1345

Scotbot said:

Why not sell up after Xmas and rent again for the time being? Alternatively rent it out and rent yourselves.

We'd rather not rent, but may have to take this option. We stayed with parents for years before in order to not pay rent and save - it would render that so obsolete that I can barely even think about it. Rent around here is more than our mortgage too... ridiculous! I've thought about renting out, but we have been advised it might not be a good idea due to capital gains tax and my husbands self-employed position (not going to go into detail why). 

Zoe1345

Norman_Castle said:

Zoe1345 said:

 When I mentioned the noise to the mum previously, she blamed the kids (although I was actually asking if she would mind not shouting at them up the stairs at midnight) and outright told me "I can't wait for them to be gone"

How did you resist replying "neither can I"?

Oh gosh... how did I? Gold! 

Zoe1345

Norman_Castle said:

Hannimal said:

I had a neighbour like this (to be clear, like the OP). He complained to me about my cats running in the flat, about vacuuming (even though it was in the day time) and even DEMANDED me and my partner go to bed before 10am or at least avoid using the living room where the wall was adjacent to their bedroom. He admitted he always had problems with the tenants who lived in the flat we were renting and then he bullied us until we moved. Luckily we were renting so it was easy to leave.

The OPs complaints sound entirely reasonable unlike your previous neighbour who sounds beyond reasonable making your prior neighbour nothing like the OP.

@Norman_Castle . 
@Hannimal You sound like you had a beyond reasonable previous neighbour. A bit like we might do? I'd say you're clutching at some paper thin straws drawing comparison with our situation, and probably a bit salty about your old neighbour still?
I'd say 3 knocks on the door to ask politely to keep the noise down, despite the horrendous noise we've had to put up with AT NIGHT (key difference here), is a universe away from your old neighbours moaning about daytime hoovering and cat Olympics. Although, as I've a cats myself - I'm fully aware of how much they can sound like rhino's when crashing around... so perhaps your neighbours had a point? (To clarify... that was a joke.)