Noisey neighbours, friendly advice on what to do.

Slinky

When we sold our house, the estate agents did all the viewings as they preferred not to have the vendors around. We didn't have anything to hide, but by not being there, we weren't asked any of the 'what are the neighbours like' questions. We never met our purchasers until a couple of days before exchange when we invited them round so we could show them stuff they needed to know about the house. They didn't ask any neighbour questions then either - I think they were stressing too much about getting their mortgage offer finalised.

It's easy enough to avoid answering difficult questions if you're not there to answer them.

Zoe1345

warby68 said:

Blame as in 'make it stick' but I'd certainly have a few choice words going through my head, especially if we'd had a chat about 'what the neighbours are like'.
And honestly people do have very widely varying thresholds for noise - my husband can sleep through anything, I'm awake at the slightest thing so unfortunately it isn't a given that what bothers you will also bother others.
The hard thing is once you obsess about it you make it worse, as you are simply waiting for the noise all the time and actually keeping yourself awake. Its really tough to shift though. I'd protect your sleep, even if it means a night or two on the sofa or away from home, pop round a couple more times to ask 'nicely' and make plans for your next move.

Many a choice word is going through my head! We are pretty certain they knew the issues with the house (which go beyond the noise), despite being the children of the occupant, not the occupant, and now realise that that's likely why they wanted a quick sale and we struggled getting the estate agent to agree to let us come back before completing. Hindsight in 20/20. I'll certainly have more suspicion with the next house purchase! 
I was on the sofa when writing this last night following their latest 2 am shower party  . Unfortunately that's right underneath, so it doesn't escape me from the noise a great deal. My husband also sleeps through anything normally - the man's even fallen asleep in a nightclub before... sober. Anyway, I diverge - but even he is struggling with this. 
Indeed, the obsessing over it is certainly an issue I agree. But its incredibly difficult not to. I don't have to wait or look for the noise, unfortunately it arrives like clockwork! 
Once Covid restrictions are lifted - I may find myself back at the parents for a few nights, just to maintain my sanity, although I'm not certain how sustainable that will be. 

Zoe1345

Slinky said:

When we sold our house, the estate agents did all the viewings as they preferred not to have the vendors around. We didn't have anything to hide, but by not being there, we weren't asked any of the 'what are the neighbours like' questions. We never met our purchasers until a couple of days before exchange when we invited them round so we could show them stuff they needed to know about the house. They didn't ask any neighbour questions then either - I think they were stressing too much about getting their mortgage offer finalised.

It's easy enough to avoid answering difficult questions if you're not there to answer them.

Thanks Slinky. I'm not sure I'd want to be here anyway during viewings etc. We asked the neighbour question through the estate agent, who asked them, and gave us the reply - so not directly. So there's always a chance that they could do this, or aske the solicitor to get a statement in writing. I'll certainly be asking for a noise statement in regards to our next purchase - unless its a detached house in the middle of nowhere - then I think I'll take my chances not to . 

Norman_Castle

I had a noisy neighbour who I could still hear through earplugs. I'd put Radio 4 on loud enough to be heard through the earplugs but not loud enough to understand what was being said. Like this I couldn't tell the difference between my radio and their noise which allowed me to ignore it and sleep. It was also quite satisfying that they were disturbed by my radio although you would have to consider your other neighbours.

Zoe1345

Norman_Castle said:

I had a noisy neighbour who I could still hear through earplugs. I'd put Radio 4 on loud enough to be heard through the earplugs but not loud enough to understand what was being said. Like this I couldn't tell the difference between my radio and their noise which allowed me to ignore it and sleep. It was also quite satisfying that they were disturbed by my radio although you would have to consider your other neighbours.

Yea, we hear nothing from the two young guys that live the other side. Even when we know they have mates over. In fact even when they are doing DIY we hear it, but it isn't terrible - and there is no sound proofing that side! (Hence why we can't just resign ourselves to the trouble side being "normal" behaviour or noise levels). So whilst I have been tempted on a few occasions to get up and put on some loud music on early, or let guests be incredibly loud late at night, I don't, it wouldn't be fair on the other side - also frankly because I think that the courteous thing to do (and don't in fact want a noise war). I do however, play Rammstein, or something of that ilk, very loud in the middle of the day when the mum and daughter decide to have a screaming match about a discarded pair of shoes on the stairs, or about how she is wasting her life (I would be mortified if my neighbours heard some of the things we hear from them!), its easier to work listening to that on full, than it is them! 

xylophone

Or Do we grin and bare it for another year 

Dirty protest?

It's a difficult situation because it seems that the problem arises not from deliberate anti social behaviour but from a difference in life styles.

 You might do what you can (see previous posts) to ameliorate the problem (before you try to sell) with some sound proofing.

Zoe1345

xylophone said:

Or Do we grin and bare it for another year 

Dirty protest?

It's a difficult situation because it seems that the problem arises not from deliberate anti social behaviour but from a difference in life styles.

 You might do what you can (see previous posts) to ameliorate the problem (before you try to sell) with some sound proofing.

Well spotted ... not sure any of them deserve that though! 
Already noted we have already sound proofed to the extent we are able to - to no avail. 

comeandgo

Regarding the amount you would disclose to future buyers regarding noise, surely the fact you have had to try and deaden the noise by using added noise reduction materials to your room should make it obvious there is a problem.

trex227

You’ve said you were aware of a falling out, do you know if this was about noise? Or what reason did they give? Anyway if this was done through the estate agent rather than the solicitors I would imagine it would be more difficult to get any recourse as it didn’t form part of the legal enquiries

pmlindyloo

I do think that there is a big difference between neighbours being noisy on the odd occasion and this being their lifestyle.  The latter is so much more difficult to deal with as, in effect, you are asking them to completely change their whole way of living.
Having said that I would like to suggest that the late night noise on a daily basis is just not acceptable.
You say they are a lovely family and you do not wish to fall out with them.
So, what about writing to them in a friendly way saying that you appreciate that they have a different living style to them but the noise after midnight is severely affecting you (give specific examples)
Also add what you have done to try to counter the noise - the sound proofing/ear plugs etc
Terrace houses can be a particular problem - mention this - and also add if any of your noise is affecting them to please let you know. 
Add that you hope that you can solve this amicably (a little veiled threat there) as you like them as neighbours but...................
Sometimes speaking to them face to face does not give you the opportunity to go through the exact problems and explain how they affect you as the neighbour will invariably interrupt before you can finish.  Also, tempers can get frayed.
It will take considerable skill to get the tone of the letter just right so I suggest you don't write it at 3am in the morning!
Good luck!