Money Moral Dilemma: Should my friend pay for the book he borrowed from me?

jegs

REALLY  ?????   What kind of friend is he  ????    I have always believed that a "true friend" is one that I could absolutely trust with my children, my wife.......my money and my life !!!      Does he fit thts criteria ???       As he borrowed the book from you, he should have taken special care of it and returned it as soon as he had read it or as soon as he decided he did not wish to read it.    Clearly, the book meant a lot to you.       At the very least, your "friend" most certainly should have offered to replace it.  However, £20 really is not worth the value of your friendship.........OR IS IT  ???  Only You can decide, but whichever you choose, from now on, you will view your "friend" in a totally different light.

SallyB21

It's not uncommon for people to think you won't want back a book that you lent them. Always make it clear that you want it returned when they borrow and don't leave it months to request its return.  I'd certainly never lend to them again but they probably won't care. 

confusedgranny

Hmm. Does it show that your friend has a different attitude to friendship, or just a different attitude to books?
Some see them as precious, others as disposable.

shopaholic_2

I couldn't find a DvVD my friend lent me. I immediately went out and bought a replacement (found it later, kids had borrowed it) so yes, he should replace it

Gervais3232

Hi, I once borrowed a book, which I did not return it and felt bad about it.  Many years later I borrowed some books from a friend, who was subsequently moving house, so I dropped them through their letterbox safely wrapped up. The price of the book is inconsequential, it is the value of the friendship and the trust you have placed in that person that is far more important. I would suggest that in future you think carefully about who you lend what to as some people value material things in a different way to others. It also might be wise to make it clear that you would like said item(s) returned.  

Oakdeneal

My friend and I share books regularly. Most books have been read by both of us and it is assumed  that they go to the charity shop when finished.
If we share a book that we haven’t read or we want returned we discuss at the time of loan and agree to return. 

Some people don’t realise they have done wrong or are unaware that people’s feelings may be hurt.  These friends may have special needs so don’t just discard them as some have suggested, make the right decision with your head or heart. 

pollypenny

I'd say hardbacks and paperbacks have a different value, both monetary and to the owner. Usually a paperback is lent with a check on if it's to be passed on or returned. The assumption with a hardback is usually return. 

I've had a copy of The Testaments since March belonging to my friend, but I can't face a dystopian novel at this time. On the other hand, another friend bought me a great book for last year's birthday. I lent it to her when I finished it and not seen it since. She thinks she's returned it. 

benferry

I am quite amazed how easily people are quick to see one side of an issue/dilemma/argument.  Is there not two sides here, the person that borrowed and person who was lending do they not have any responsibility?

CookieMonster

Let it go.
Learn the lesson in relation to that friend, and be glad it was only a book and not a sum of money.
(Never loan anything that you don't want to, or can't afford to, lose or live without.)

John_Gray

Take your 'friend' to the Small Claims Court.  It will probably cost you a £25 fee, but your friend will have to pay that, plus the £20 cost of the book, if s/he loses.

Unfortunately the legal maxim 'de minimis non curat lex' might apply...