I am the obstacle and I am the path (to debt free...again)

DrCarrie

Onwards and upwards indeed! @Suzanne54321B
I worked really hard yesterday, and also looked at my budget again. OMG. I kept seeing the 'as long as you have been honest with yourself' on the MSE budget spreadsheet....and I was thiking of all the costs of being self-employed, like putting aside holiday pay, which I haven't done since becoming self-employed last November. So...that was a bit of a shocker to add in. Also put in something regualr for chrismas. My self-employed outgoings with tax and continuing professional development are really high. I put it all in, and wow! I am commited now though for this bit at least and may delay the next. 

Sainsbugs came at 9pm (yawn) and I have quite a lot that will keep me going for a good while. Particularly as I don't have much of an appetite since the "very mixed weekend" that will pass though. 

There have been a lot of changes, and I am in a bit of a spin, but also very calm. Sometimes it feels like there is a big change afoot and a lot of life changes all at once. I have been doing my own private practice as well as working as an associate, I am stopping the former today. It means a little less money, a lot less hassle chasing people for money and lots more study. The current climate is not easy for building your own pritave practice but its the time for associate / locum work for sure. 
...Also a lot more time on my own with no partner now. I met and fell headover heels last Decmeber and the shifts I was planning to make in the last year haven't happened, which were primarily financial.  They were not in my line of sight the relationship was. No resentment, no blame, no regrets. I had a wondnderful, wonderful, wonderful time with them. Joyus in so many ways, just not right somewhere. Very sad. 

So there somehow feel there has been a broom swept though my life, not planned, just emerged. Feels a bit strange, I left my old job last November, and the one before 2 Octobers ago. I have been in my cute little flat for nearly 3 years. it seems like this time of year is when the broom has it's sweep!

I am waiting for soemhting else to be resolved though, and it feels like a bit of a threat to my livlihood. That is waht I need the lawyer for. I am going to try and scrape £1000 togther so that not the whole £3,500 goes on the the CC. Every little helps, right. 

Anyway, not even a NSD to report since last Thursday and given that Sainsbugs didn't bring all of actually what I needed, I will need to spend again today. But that shoul be it for at least 5 days. Depends how much wine I drink I guess! 

WinterWarrior

It’s hard being honest and imo very hard to stick to budgets. My trouble is I overcommit and then everything falls apart when I have to take money back! I know what I do and need to get a grip on it.
legal fees are ridiculous And always manage to charge more than originally quoted! 

I think a broom sweeping is often a good thing, you’ll look back in another year and see all the positives I’m sure. 

We don’t have a Sainsbugs here, but I used to like it best. Now we rely on Mr T and the substitutions are puzzling at best! 

savingholmes

It's great that you are focusing on sorting your money out despite relationship and other life challenges. Things will sort I'm sure.

DrCarrie

Morning, thank you to @savingholmes and @Suzanne54321B for the check ins and encouragment. Really appreciated. 

Feeling heart broken this morning, really heart broken. Woke up at about 3 am. Still not much appetite - so food , and therefore money saving there. 
But other things. Very annoyingly, my mobile phone appears to gone into melt down. Literally overheating and getting a warning alert for it needing to cool down. This means money. Money out of the lawyer fund. 

It's rainig hard at the moment in life. Looking for the rainbow to arrive relatively soon. Please. 

There was some good news, well the possibility of good news. The orginisation I work as an associate with needs more feet on the ground, or rather people infont of a laptop. In this climate its a rareity I realise. I don't actually think I can do it now, with all that is going on, and starting studying - 2 teaching blocks before Christmas. And this other thing hanging over my head. I am going to ask to do another day from the New Year, hopefully things will be resolved by then and I can relax back into my career. And the sad and sore will have eased from the relationship. It's tempting to rush in and say I will do it now, but I know I can't take anymore on at the moment. 

If it is possible to operationalise this plan, and I put all of that money from that extra day towards the debt it will be about £9,000 paid off in a year (on top of the other payments). I really would like it gone by the time I am 50. God, I can't even admitt to the errors I have made with money over the past 17 years, really very bad. I could have been in a really good posiiton. I have folloeed my heart and desires too much, over pragamtism. But I need to be kind to myself and just change it. Change it back, I used to be good with money. I can be again. I have the skills, they just need to be nurtured again. 

Cannot currently see why today will not be a NSD. Phew. 

Pay day on Friday. 

Looking forward to the NST challege starting tomorrow...
...and being able to have a proper melt down at the weekend. Wine, and whining. 

DrCarrie

Gosh....thank goodness for the snowball calculator. I had an emial offering me a balance transfer form my paid off CC. Gosh the feeling of maybe things being easier to pay off was strong. But put it in the snowball, and it came out the same if I left it all alone. It might be better a few months down the line, when one of them is paid off already. But my goodness. So glad I checked...I wouldn't have batted an eyelid before and been juggling 3 CCs instead of 2. 
all power to MSE!

savingholmes

Snowball works well. We've all made mistakes. Beating yourself up makes it harder rather than easier to change and stick to your new plan. Be kind. 

DrCarrie

savingholmes said:

Snowball works well. We've all made mistakes. Beating yourself up makes it harder rather than easier to change and stick to your new plan. Be kind. 

Being as kind as I can! Thank you. 
A little quickie this moring. 
Yesterdays wins...
NSD - yay. 
I spent a long time sorting out my phone with the help of the internet. Its cool as a cucumber now. So no need for a new one - Phew. 
Was in touch with insurence providers regarding legal fees, may be able to get some back. Not entirely sure yet. 
This moring very early, I was paid my interest on my Monzo account 3 pound something, rounded it up to £5 and put it in the 1% pot. £90 in there now. 😊

enthusiasticsaver

Sounds like a bit of a mixed week for you. Good result on sorting the phone out yourself and it sounds like you have been good with money in the past so you know how to manage it but don't always do what you know you should. Glad you didn't take on the extra card. Constant balance transfers don't always help when clearing debt so that is one mistake you didn't make. 

It is a a good idea not to take on too much if you are feeling fragile.

WinterWarrior

Well done on fixing the phone, another savings result.

DrCarrie

@Suzanne54321B - Thank you. I am still feeling very pleased with getting the phone back, it took soem time, but so worth it.
@enthusiasticsaver thank you for your encouraging words and stopping by. I am hoping to take on that extra bit of work so that paying the debt off quicker is possible, but I am indeed too fragile at the moment.  

So I had a NSD yesterday and started the Turtles diary. 
Pay day today...not yet in the bank. I think I will do all the money movement tomorrow, when I am not working. Said fragility is taking energy and would rather really have the space to concentrate on it properly. 

I am also thinking I need to make an office in my tiny hall. I made a temporary one before, but it just wan't comfortable enough. I don't really want to work in the living room for another 6 months, and it seems likely that I will be at home for another 6 months. I am going to look in the 2 furniture charity shops for a suitable table / desk and move some bits about in the flat. If I can't find one I will get one from Ikea. I have spotted one that would fit perfectly. I don't think its manageble to continue working as I am. I need a clearly defined space. But will also need to make the hall a bit warmer I think. Ponder. Ponder.