First Steps to Solvency

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

@enthusiasticsaver The sleep is badly affecting me professionally and personally tbh. Can hardly see the wood for the trees right now. Usually an eight hours or I’m hardly functioning sort of person so this isn’t great for me broken sleep been going on for about two months now.

Always said drinking when you’re feeling down is a recipe for a habit I don’t want. Seen enough alcoholics queuing outside the pub to put me off. Do have a goal to cut it to £100 next month just 4/5 bottles of wine to share with wife at the weekend. Said to wife I’m going to do dry January this coming year, done it a few times not a big challenge tbh like a drink but not too bothered about it.

Turning 40 is causing me a lot of stress and anxiety - wife making jokes everyday about being properly into midlife now isn’t helping too much lol. Not sure what I would consider successful for myself either. If I were 25, I’d be very happy if I stepped into my house / cars etc but now looking for next level. Always wanting more it’s tiring and I don’t want my mindset for my son when he’s older. 

I hate it when I can't sleep. I'm the same as you need a good 8 hours unbroken to be fully functional the next day.

One good nights sleep can be enough to break the bad sleeping habit and refresh you enough. A couple of times I have resorted to using these:

https://www.chemist-4-u.com/nytol-herbal-tablets-night-time-sleep-aid-30-tablets

You can get them over the counter at your local pharmacy and I found that they do help you drift off into a more natural sleep.

ryanm8655

RelievedSheff said:

alt80 said:

@enthusiasticsaver The sleep is badly affecting me professionally and personally tbh. Can hardly see the wood for the trees right now. Usually an eight hours or I’m hardly functioning sort of person so this isn’t great for me broken sleep been going on for about two months now.

Always said drinking when you’re feeling down is a recipe for a habit I don’t want. Seen enough alcoholics queuing outside the pub to put me off. Do have a goal to cut it to £100 next month just 4/5 bottles of wine to share with wife at the weekend. Said to wife I’m going to do dry January this coming year, done it a few times not a big challenge tbh like a drink but not too bothered about it.

Turning 40 is causing me a lot of stress and anxiety - wife making jokes everyday about being properly into midlife now isn’t helping too much lol. Not sure what I would consider successful for myself either. If I were 25, I’d be very happy if I stepped into my house / cars etc but now looking for next level. Always wanting more it’s tiring and I don’t want my mindset for my son when he’s older. 

I hate it when I can't sleep. I'm the same as you need a good 8 hours unbroken to be fully functional the next day.

One good nights sleep can be enough to break the bad sleeping habit and refresh you enough. A couple of times I have resorted to using these:

https://www.chemist-4-u.com/nytol-herbal-tablets-night-time-sleep-aid-30-tablets

You can get them over the counter at your local pharmacy and I found that they do help you drift off into a more natural sleep.

I’m exactly the same. Might have to give those a bash. Do they leave you feeling drowsy the next day or anything?

Last night I was woken up freaking out as something was moving in my bed. Thought it was a mouse or something. Turned out the cat had stealthily crept in my room behind me and I’d locked her in...decided to climb all over me to wake me up ha. Bloody knackered today as a result.

Sleep is critical, makes a big difference to mental health and also performance and sharpness. A boozy sleep isn’t a proper one either.

RelievedSheff

ryanm8655 said:

RelievedSheff said:

alt80 said:

@enthusiasticsaver The sleep is badly affecting me professionally and personally tbh. Can hardly see the wood for the trees right now. Usually an eight hours or I’m hardly functioning sort of person so this isn’t great for me broken sleep been going on for about two months now.

Always said drinking when you’re feeling down is a recipe for a habit I don’t want. Seen enough alcoholics queuing outside the pub to put me off. Do have a goal to cut it to £100 next month just 4/5 bottles of wine to share with wife at the weekend. Said to wife I’m going to do dry January this coming year, done it a few times not a big challenge tbh like a drink but not too bothered about it.

Turning 40 is causing me a lot of stress and anxiety - wife making jokes everyday about being properly into midlife now isn’t helping too much lol. Not sure what I would consider successful for myself either. If I were 25, I’d be very happy if I stepped into my house / cars etc but now looking for next level. Always wanting more it’s tiring and I don’t want my mindset for my son when he’s older. 

I hate it when I can't sleep. I'm the same as you need a good 8 hours unbroken to be fully functional the next day.

One good nights sleep can be enough to break the bad sleeping habit and refresh you enough. A couple of times I have resorted to using these:

https://www.chemist-4-u.com/nytol-herbal-tablets-night-time-sleep-aid-30-tablets

You can get them over the counter at your local pharmacy and I found that they do help you drift off into a more natural sleep.

I’m exactly the same. Might have to give those a bash. Do they leave you feeling drowsy the next day or anything?

Last night I was woken up freaking out as something was moving in my bed. Thought it was a mouse or something. Turned out the cat had stealthily crept in my room behind me and I’d locked her in...decided to climb all over me to wake me up ha. Bloody knackered today as a result.

Sleep is critical, makes a big difference to mental health and also performance and sharpness. A boozy sleep isn’t a proper one either.

I wake up feeling fresh as a daisy with them. They don't leave me drowsy at all the next day.

SallyDucati

@alt80 - I went through a bout of difficulty sleeping a few months ago, and now when I put my book away and turn the light off I say 'Alexa - play wave sounds', and it has really helped.  If your wife is OK with it perhaps try something similar?  Waves, rain etc?  Could be worth a go!

pink_fluffy_sparkles

One good nights sleep will make the world of difference. As someone who can sleep for 8 hours, nap and still be tired i know how much it can affect a person. 
I listen to thunder storm noises on the alexa at night, i have tablets from the dr when im really struggling but they are weekend use only as i cant drive to work early the next moring. Try the over the counter ones first and see. 
Ive read all your posts and for what its worth (which i appreciate probably isnt alot) i think your doing really well. The change youve made in a few months is massive!! 
Of course you ll have up and down days, thats normal! I sat and cried at an areoplane the other week - im terrified of flying and hate planes - however it showed me i was stressed and emotional about other things. Do you think that your anger is coming out on small unimportant things is actually the stress your feeling for other reasons. 

alt80

Busy day working today. Bit better sleep too so more positive day generally still not great but will take better. 

Watch still not sold just seem to be getting time wasters on it so far. Wife has adjusted some of the stuff for sale - photos etc. and found a few more things to move on. Pleased with that but no sales.  

Went out for unplanned dinner this evening - £65 including a bottle of wine so not terrible so much for the no drinking during the week haha. Taking advantage whilst we can tbh quiet though. Entertainment is -£115 currently. Know it's a minus balance but I don't think we've done too bad. Groceries -£30. So overall on variables this month -£145, I'm good with that for the first month.

@getmore4less Ha! Think you're right about that. Made me realise I have quite a few self destructive behaviours tbh I didn't even realise I had. 

He hasn't really been told to put his stuff away before tbf.

I took my eye off the ball with BTL growth for too long and just starting to get my head in the right place to be back in business not just coasting along, spending better than I'm earning and just generally being self destructive. Late now and can hardly keep my eyes open but will have a think about it at the weekend properly. Came on here looking for some 2 day miracle on the debt front and got a beating but your posts have prompted me to really think about and start putting business first again. Best day in a long, long time today on the mindset business wise so thank you.

@RelievedSheff thanks will have a look if things don't improve over next few nights. 

@ryanm8655 The lack of sleep isn't doing me any favours at all. Agreed re the boozy sleep, I find if I drink enough it knocks me out for about 4/5 hours then rest of night is rubbish sleep.

Haha re cat. They are sneaky. Not a chance you'd think my GR was a mouse if he jumped on the bed, he's an oaf. 

@SallyDucati Thanks! I have a chill app on my phone - there's all sorts of background noise on there. It's meant to be for the anger lol thing is when I'm actually angry I couldn't give a f**k about doing some breathing exercise whilst a narrator speaks in a really patronising way, probably just throw my phone at the wall and have done with it ha.

@pink_fluffy_sparkles I need my 8 hours really lol you've no idea how much I envy people who are 100% on 6 hours. Waste of time sleeping, I hate it but know I need to get a decent amount or can't function.

Thank you. Definitely some good and bad days. I'd agree re anger when I'm in a rational state of mind I see that. Got a lot of stress at the moment, facing the personal debt situation and some business related stuff. Also covid stuff changing all the time been thinking about future too much - what's going to happen with the markets, speculation stuff. Not really helping me when none of us have faced anything like this before. Almost like we all just need to take one day at a time.

warby68

@alt80
Glad you had a better day. Hopefully it will get easier riding out the downers - I've seen you on other peoples' diaries too - some kindred spirits possibly. That will be good when you don't feel like the only one with a different level of spending issues. I never felt comfortable to have a diary as we didn't have debt and we have good income, just a big personal choice to manage but still got a lot of moral support from reading others along the way even if not directly asking for it. If I'm right your budget clicks over early next week so a mini fresh start- I don't think your first month was bad at all considering the drastic belt tightening involved and you knew exactly which choices were off plan so to speak. I'll guess casino for the bad Monday relapse, not sure I want to think of too many other options! Your decision making has changed so much already, even if painfully and your head is back in the business, both of which are key successes for your longer term finances. Good luck for Month 2. 

RelievedSheff

Glad to hear you had a better day yesterday. Hopefully another good day today for you to set up a good weekend

getmore4less

I tackle the sleep thing slightly differently but this strategy is not possible for everyone due to other commitments.
(some of this comes from international travel when you get time zone issues and sleep when you can on flights)

We are sort of conditioned for normal life to be 8hr work, 8hr sleep, 8hr me time
The me time split a bit before work and most after.

But it does not have to be like that and a lot of jobs it is not eg some marine operations do 4hr or 6hr  units of time to split up the day.


I find 4hrs+ is OK as a sleep window so if I wake up(often for a pee) and don't feel sleepy(or my head is spinning) I get up and do something, most often it is catch up on here and international news I am interested or time on a project/job/research.
If something is bothering me that might get done.
  
Often that works and I get sleepy again and go back to bed for a while usually 2-4hrs if not I can go the day on 4hr.

I can also make windows of time in the day and find 1hr snooze is optimum for those when needed.
I do lie down in a quiet room  but not dark which is recommended for long sleep periods.

A technique I use if restless is to think of one thing that needs focus, for you it could be a single thing at work that needs thinking about, a deal, a design issue on a project, I find calculations good as we get used to doing them on paper and doing them in your head needs real focus(this removes any crazy spinning thoughts)

I fall into the group that fall asleep if I don't move so these work for me and I often fall asleep watching TV as well.

I feel less tired and more functional overall by doing this than trying to sleep longer but just getting bad sleep. 
I also go to bed at variable times  but it works for me as I don't have schedules to work but  rare I go past 7am even if bed very late past midnight.

What happens when the overall hours count gets too low a catchup night just happens, if I feel one coming I stop fluid intake early so I don't get the pee alarm which helps se the night through
Last night was one with a 10pm-5am sleep

I am quite sedentary most of the time so don't have the physical exhaustion which I find helps a lot with sleep when I do it.
 

getmore4less

Been thinking a bit about the car thing and wonder if you can still get a bit of a fix with a refocus of that energy to benefit the business as well.

This won't be an instant fix as you don't want to spend too much time on it but don't want to leave it till the last minute either when the window to review the BMW happens you want to be ready to make the choice
 
Have medium term project to review the company car policies, current car offerings to see if you can reduce the cost to the company, cost to employees and self for your second car.

You could just make this part of the accountants job but there is scope to look at it from a car person and where the industry is going beyond what's the biggest ICE they can fit in that car, that's the one I want.
Try to look beyond the badge at what is available.

After years of seriously expensive motoring I thing a few years(maybe just one/two lease cycles) of seriously cheap motoring will put you back into the position of being able to have another  toy(if you still want one by then).
(that's in addition to the RR not replace)