First Steps to Solvency

One-step-at-a-time

Can everyone seriously get to the point where they are ok with the payback / years lost to paying down debt? I want to get there know it’s not just going to go away need to pay it back.
- Yes, you absolutely can. The years aren't 'lost', you live them either way - and the time goes FAST. You're not in limbo, and you can choose to focus on other stuff. If you treat it like it's all punishment and deprivation than that's exactly what it will feel like. You're building your own prison here, but what you've actually got is an opportunity to reinvent yourself. 

mamamu

You can pay debt very quickly - within a year. But this involves giving up your toys
You can keep your main toy RR but then you have pay for it and it will take time. 

You are choosing what to do. Your life, your choices. 

mamamu

alt80 if you want inspiration read Debt free roll of honour! 

alt80

BC balance now at £3450. If the other watch sells before 0% ends it’s clear. A bit shocked as this was £9500 at the start of September. Tbf only reason it’s so low now is due to sales. Actually ok watch 1 has gone I hardly wore the two watches I’m selling. Could raise a lot more if I sold my daily watch but wear it everyday and it would feel a punishment too far. 

Made sure I spent some time with son this evening looked up pumpkin carving and going to have a go also went for walk with him and wife. Best bit of the day.

Know all the anger management controls but when it starts never consider counting down or going on the chill out app. Not just the anger but can literally feel my blood pressure rising, heart banging in my chest need to learn to calm it. Know it’s this situation that’s doing it to me. All the good advice of find something to do - all I want to do is spend money... go out with friends ... apart from the lockdown situations all got cars or want to talk property. I’ve got the smallest portfolio out of the people I know well through property (on the investment side) know lots with smaller portfolios but not particularly well and no property meets right now apart from online. I’ve BSed about how leveraged mine are, the property guys think I’ve got it together lowish LTVs no PGs etc. The ones with the bigger portfolios are older guys had them since the 90s definitely no personal risk. Made it. Suppose I was too embarrassed to admit where I am they think I own the cars outright too ‘who would haha’ sort of conversations about ‘is it leased etc.’. Car people I can’t deal with it so I’m only talking to my mate with the MG but he keeps asking when I’m bringing son for another run out can’t say I’ve not got my car anymore could go in BMW but he’s going to ask about F-Type. Also keeps sending me XJSs old 1960s MGs as son loves them and he knows I enjoy driving it in a slower, different world kind of way. One looked great but £19k just sat in my office practically in tears yes I know ridiculous but just seems insurmountable right now to get another toy. 

Not socialising with tenants - keep it 100% professional. Helped them with things plenty of times and been there with a few who’ve had no one else to turn to (nature of some of the houses I’ve got tbh) but not ‘mates’ with them and won’t be going to the pub with them. Tbf I have taken tenants to lunch who are leaving to buy their own places but that’s different. 

I’m struggling to find the enthusiasm for anything and want to spend more time with son which I’m doing so not really looking for a new hobby at the moment. Need to focus on business and family. Forget my life and stop being angry about it. Too desperate to want to make it in life, too greedy and too indebted.

mothsinmywallet_2

Keep talking. We're here. 

ZaSa1418

Everyone wants to make it in life but have different goals.

You can still have everything you want it is just going to take a little longer to get there because first you are going to sort yourself out so when you do get what you want it doesnt include being up to your eyeballs in debt. 

alt80

@ZaSa1418 wife wants me to forget about life admit I’ve lost so yes different life goals. Stay in current res home pay it off no chasing 7 figure house, pay for rr and save towards another fun car. Forget building portfolio to the level I want pay down what I have to get rid of PGs. Maybe get some more but not the levels I want. She sees I have the stress because I’ve let the greed monster win. I want to win she wants me to lose.

clairebeth

The guys who had their properties since the 90s... you were a teenager then, you do realise that right? There's not a lot you can do about being younger than them! 

highfieldcyrille88

Makes sense regards tenants and keeping it professional, sounds very sensible. Definitely think you will benefit from widening your social circle in some way, so you can appreciate others and vice versa. Hopefully you can confide in someone who knows you and talk through your current challenges.

As others have said you have a lot going for you, going to take a little more time to reach yours goals, but will be worth it. Just need to think of new ways to enjoy the journey, it is not a punishment, just a diversion from plan A.

stymied

alt80 said:

@ZaSa1418 wife wants me to forget about life admit I’ve lost so yes different life goals. Stay in current res home pay it off no chasing 7 figure house, pay for rr and save towards another fun car. Forget building portfolio to the level I want pay down what I have to get rid of PGs. Maybe get some more but not the levels I want. She sees I have the stress because I’ve let the greed monster win. I want to win she wants me to lose.

When you read this back do you see that it doesn’t make sense? What you’re basically saying is wife loves current house (as do you - it was your dream house) and wants to stay there, wants to reduce the debt you’re both in (as do you) and wants you to be able to buy another fun car (as do you). She’s more risk averse than you and is scared by the PGs. In no way does she want you to ‘lose’. In fact it sounds like she’s supporting you in everything you’ve said on here except you differ slightly in your views on expansion of your portfolio. She cares about you and values your health above further wealth (for her as well as you).