First Steps to Solvency

PassElephant

Or how to wash a car. Come on, you can do it.

alt80

@PassElephant I know how to wash a car lol. I’m working tomorrow and dark by 6ish. Not unreasonable for me to pass to wife - I earn the money she looks after house etc. 

TheAble

I think my point was isn't the portfolio big enough already? With personal guarantees in place you're risking your family home and any other wealth you have etc to buy more properties that you probably don't really need. I get that you want to grow your wealth - don't we all - and I'm not against taking risks, but I do believe you have to consider the worst case scenario and if you could handle it. For example if I was considering taking a particular action which had a good upside but a possible one in a thousand chance of bankruptcy, I wouldn't do it. Up to you of course but if I were in your shoes I'd want to consolidate and de-risk my position before expanding further.

stymied

From what you’ve described I don’t understand the massive problem with the day. Undoubtedly it was boring but you must have enjoyed watching son have fun. It’s perfectly normal to the grandpa to treat his family to a (presumably cheap) day out. I would hope he does get pleasure from doing so; I know I do when a friend / family allows me to treat them and try to accept graciously when someone chooses to pay for us. Maybe the steward did enjoy making a town 4x4 & your shoes get dirty - if that was their motivation it wasn’t kind but it’s a bit of a ‘whatever’ moment that it’s worth learning to shrug off. Equally they *could* have been saving the easy spaces for the old people (FIL?) and the cars that had no chance of making it out of the field. I wonder how many cars they’ve had to dig out of that field?

mamamu

theoretica said:

I remember some very disconcerted undergraduates (or very unpopular with housemates) when needing to do their own housework was encountered for the first time.

We have few signs at work place coffee room, for people like that.

”Cleaning fairy isn’t real”
”Your mum doesn't work here”

 

alt80

@TheAble Completely understand where you’re coming from. Sometimes I think I should pay down to the point of no longer having the PGs then build up thereafter too. Have been through phases of the PGs worrying me - that small risk of the potential to lose everything if it did go wrong sometimes is on my mind but a very small chance it’s not worth getting too worried about imo. The guarantees at the LTVs I’m working with aren’t anything unusual. Larger portfolio spreads risk and amplifies reward which is why I’m of the grow first, pay later mentality. Amplifies losses if the absolute worst was to happen as with any leverage tbf. As I’m sure everyone in this thread is aware my only personal asset is the equity in my res home - I know I’d lose it if the worst did happen. Personal bankruptcy I’m quite sure would actually kill me don’t think I could live with that tbh. However what do you do, play safe and mitigate risk never getting to where you’d like or play the risk game and potentially have that 7 figure lifestyle?

@stymied Yes I did enjoy seeing son have fun - only good thing about the day.

Maybe there was nothing more to it than FIL wanting to treat grandson and I’m angry for no reason other than he knows I’m in debt. Probably shouldn’t have reacted how I did about the car tbf but was angry about it - still spaces near FIL’s car when we left. FIL is a n*b had to make comments.

badmemory

Your FIL isn't going to change.  It must be difficult being his daughter & having all her life choices criticised on an almost daily basis.  How much did he manipulate her & her choices as she was growing up as he seems to have a very strong hold over her.

Can you see how differently you could look at things?

warby68

@alt80
In your mind you need to turn yesterday into a good day. Your son had a great time (all the more because his dad was there too - I promise that) and you didn't spend money. WIN WIN WIN 
You and FIL have 'history' now so you are ultra sensitive and he probably is too - think about it, he paid for you, a nice thing overall. You see it as to humiliate you but real humiliation would be to say out loud ' now are you sure you can afford this? Why don't you wait in the car'. Try showing FIL a tiny bit of humility and worry instead of bluster. He's used to a certain version of you, when he sees the chinks in your armour he may well lay off. If he still kicks you when you're down then just disengage as he really will be quite unpleasant. At the moment, its probably 50/50 on winding each other up over many years. Said as an outsider I know but you have admitted you are not very nice at times too.
The car thing just makes me laugh - you are so out to see people against you that you are actively looking for it. As for not getting a RR dirty - you do sound like a numpty plus you were never going to have to clean it yourself. So you didn't get to lord it over the steward , who cares when you're the one with the car (and the gorgeous family) - think of it as making his day. Your skin is far too thin after many years of your 'mindset'. It may well have just been sensible as well - 4WDs in the mud, grandad cars and grandads on the grass. 
On the BTLs, I am one encouraging you to look for some new business deals - but I am thinking small tart and turn to either  turn it to the BTL portfolio at lower LTV  or sell it on if it makes more sense. Maybe even use wife's tax status to extract a bit of profit at first stage. Two reasons, first and biggest is to get you back to doing what you do best, second to squeeze a bit of profit or better gearing to help overall - lower risk in you doing this than for others as you 'know' property and shouldn't buy a pup. And a third, there should be some bargains coming if you're in the know.

RelievedSheff

I'm hoping that the cleaning fairy is going to come and clean our Hyundai today. Took the dog for a very enjoyable walk in the woods yesterday but the car is now filthy from the dogs muddy legs and our muddy boots. Totally worth it though to see how much the dog enjoyed himself and for us to get out in the fresh air for a couple of hours though.

ladyholly

Why have a 4x4 if you dont want to get it dirty. We have a very old (20years) car that we regularly take into muddy fields for car boot sales and dh goes to festivals in it. The great thing about them is that, like children, they are fairly easy to clean and as you apparently dont clean your own car why are you so bothered.

As to FiL. Was he trying to treat you all or did he want to lord it over you. It doesnt really matter in the great scheme of things. Mine even left instructions that we were not to be told when he died so husband and our daughter didnt even have the chance to say goodbye. We found out when we received a letter from the solicitor. You will probably never be close but your wife is and we dont have our parents for long at least try to get along for your wife and sons sake.